JHR Counselling - Relationship Counsellor

19/10/2025

I hear this all of the time, even some of my friends have said it to me. "oh we aren't that bad, we don't need that yet" and my response "what has to happen for it to be the right time"?

We don't often go into relationships knowing all of the answers, we may have experience yes, but ultimately you can never be an expert in a situation where there is more than one person. People bring different things to different situations and we can't rely on our own emotions and reactions let alone another persons.

To put it as clearly as I can, if you see embers burning in the corner of your house, you don't wait for the fire to blaze before you take action. So if you are struggling in your relationship and you can't figure it out alone, don't wait for it to get worse, don't burn it down before you tackle the heat.

18/10/2025

Hope is a great and powerful source of strength but eventually you have to start looking at the facts.

Sometimes we can want something too much that it makes us do things we shouldn't be doing. We can want to make something work, want something to change, want to find a love that isn't there and that desire can make us put up with things that are wrong.

It can make us brush over negative behaviours, dismiss our feelings of hurt, fear, pain, unhappiness, doubt and depression and instead keep pushing forwards towards a goal that is most likely not achievable. It can make you do or say things you aren't comfortable with, the hope that if you do that, this will happen, or if you say that this will change.

Similarly, our own personality traits can make us put up with things we shouldn't have to. It may be that you care about someone, don't want to hurt them, feel sorry for them, feel a sense of responsibility for them or feel like you have to be there, all the while you are miserable, you are putting their needs above your own.

You can't force someone to love you and you can't force yourself to love someone else. Eventually your mind and heart will win the battle but the scars you walk away with are your choice. Learn to put yourself first, recognise your own worth and act.

17/10/2025

Let’s talk money.

Problems with money are one of the most common issues people have in relationships, either the sheer lack of it, disagreements on how its spent or who pays what! Money can cause fierce arguments and cause deep divides in happy relationships. But before you start to panic, firstly you need to figure out if money really is the issue. Have a look at the below article that highlights 5 signs that money is causing you problems and don’t panic, it doesn’t mean the end. You can get support for many financial problems and if communication is the issues there is help for that too x Jo

https://bit.ly/4kk54My

16/10/2025

Sometimes relationships need work. Sometimes you need another perspective, a different way and a place where you have the time and space to find clarity, together.
Relationships counselling can offer you just that and more. I can support you to clarify and meet your goals for your relationship and your future, offering you time, empathy and understanding.
Sometimes relationship counselling is the way

15/10/2025

This goes for all relationships - Can you honestly say all of the people in your life deserve to be in it? Sometimes the friendships and relationships we build, fulfill their purpose then start to have negative effects on us. We hold on to them because they are familiar, we remember the times when they were positive and treasure the memories but in reality they are draining our energy, making us question ourselves and generally making us unhappy.

You will usually be aware if you have one of these relationships with a friend, family member or partner but if you don't there are things that can help you identify them.

When was the last time they asked if you were OK?
When was the last time they instigated a conversation for no other reason than to talk to you?
Do they help and offer support to you when you need it?
Do they ask too much of your time and energy?
Do they monopolize conversations and make everything about them?
Do you dread speaking or seeing them?

A friendship or relationship should be emotionally beneficial for both of you, you should enjoy spending time with that person and they should be to you what you are to them. If they aren't, it may be time to create some distance. For your own sake, recognise the negativity in your life and choose you.

14/10/2025

We have all been there, one of those arguments where no matter what you say, how loud you say it or what words you use, the person you are talking to just doesn't get it! It's like they have switched off, or stopped listening, You know what you're saying makes sense, to you it's so obvious, even other people agree with you, but try as you will they just refuse or can't understand your perspective.

The truth is, if this is where you are at, they have probably got to a stage where positive communication is a thing of the past and they have got into a habit of responding in a way that protects them. They have forgotten what it is like to have a positive discussion with you and instead simply react.

Habits take time to build and even longer to break but the first step is recognising the habits, bringing them into your conscious mind and being aware that they are there and causing you a problem. It may be time to recognise and work on your communication habits to find a way that works better for you both, opening up the space to allow understanding and finally feel heard.

To book a free 30 minute Zoom consultation with me, head to my website where you can book a time and date to suit you. x Jo

Check out the link in my bio 😉

http://www.jhrcounselling.co.uk/

13/10/2025

1st things 1st, conflict in relationships is normal, very few people can navigate strong, loving relationships without having a least a few arguments. But if you find you are arguing more and more and your relationship resembles more of a war zone than a love nest..... maybe it's time to take action.
Relationship counselling can help you both take a step back and review the difficulties in your relationship without the stresses and tensions of everyday life. Together we can work towards a better, stronger communication style that will reduce the amount of arguments you are having and lead you forwards towards happier times.
To book a free 30 minute Zoom consultation, head to my website.

12/10/2025

Abuse in any form is never OK. A relationship should be a loving, supportive and protective place for both you and your partner. Yes couples argue, they fall out and they have diffferent opinions but abuse is wrong.

Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior in which the perpetrator insults, humiliates, and generally instills fear in an individual in order to control them. Some examples are: swearing at you, degrading you, demorallising you, over exaggerating situations, blaming you, denying lies and callling you crazy, giving the silent treatment, threats to leave, threats to cheats etc.

Physical abuse is any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person or animal by way of bodily contact. Both children and adults can be victims of physical abuse.

Financial abuse is an aspect of ‘coercive control’ – a pattern of controlling, threatening and degrading behaviour that restricts a victims’ freedom. Takings money, hiding financial details, controlling all outgoings and income, restricting access to money, taking loans out in your name, purchasing goods in your name etc. all examples of financial abuse.

Sexual abuse is any unwanted sexual activity. Perpetrators may use force, make threats or intmidate and take advantage of victims not able to give consent. Force, threats and intimidation may not always be a factor in sexual abuse, abuse of power, status or relationship can often be used to take advantage of victims.

To find out what support is available, search online for local or national domestic abuse support, visit your local library, GP or community centre. Call Victim Support free on 0808 1689111. If you are in imminent danger call 999.

Above all else, tell someone. You don't have to be alone.

11/10/2025

The way you hold hands with your partner says a lot about it and it will most likely change depending on the stage of your relationship. At first, when you are just starting out you may hold each others hand loosely, a slight touch of fingers but a connection all the same. This is usually a good sign, it means you want to connect with each other, you want to get closer 😍

As your relationship develops the way you hold hands may change, as your love grows you might find your fingers become intertwined and your grasp tightens, a sure fire sign that you want to stay close to your partner 😘

Holding hands isn't just a small sign of affection, or an act that is played out to show that you are in a relationship. Hand holding is an intimate act that tells your partner that you want to be close to them. Further to that, research has shown that hand holding releases Oxytocin giving you that feel good feeling that gym goers usually talk about 💪🏻 It increases your self confidence, lets you know you are wanted and is another way to show your partner you care.

So the question is, Do you still hold hands? If the answer is no, why not? 🤔

Hand holding is a form of non verbal communication, think about it, if you are having relationship problems, it may be one small adjustments you can make to help you get back on track. However, the chances are that there may be more work to be done. If you would like support with your relationship and would like to know how couples counselling could help, please get in touch. You can message me direct or head to my website to book a free consultation x Jo

https://bit.ly/4pN14Ht

10/10/2025

I came across the black dog analogy quite a while ago and it really resonated with me. The black dog is used in the mental health industry to discuss the feelings of depression and I think it really does a great job of that.

To find out more about the black dog simply type ‘the black dog’ into YouTube and you will quickly find the video to accompany it, it’s called ‘I had a black dog, his name was depression.

Below is a great article from a young lady who has found the support and strength to fight her black dog every day. It is a true account of what it feels like to be diagnosed with depression, the contradictory feelings and emotions that accompany it and how she finds the strength each day to carry on.

For anyone suffering in silence, reach out, tell someone, you are not alone x Jo

https://bit.ly/42EX9Dn

09/10/2025

It doesn't matter who you are, you should not feel under appreciated in your relationship. We all have problems, we all argue but if you are at the stage where you constantly feel miserable or arguments are taking up far too much of your energy and time then it may be good to get some extra support.

Do you feel apprehensive about seeking the help of a professional?

Please don't, you are not alone and I promise, I will only work with the things you bring to the session. If you are still unsure or you have questions then why not get in touch? Head to my website or message me on here to book a free 30 minutes consultation, then you can see for yourself if it works for you x Jo 😊

08/10/2025