Marie Vaile Counselling

15/05/2026

Today is International Hyperemesis Gravidarum Awareness Day.

It's one that each year has me reflect on my own HG experience and where I check in with myself on my recovery of this awfully debilitating condition.

My HG pregnancy was 10 years ago now. Feels like a lifetime ago yet I still have the most vivid memories of those dark days/weeks/months.

The hardest part I've had to live with is the grief of not having another baby. This grief I'll carry for the rest of my life but it runs parallel alongside my happiness of what I do have, my beautiful boy. It's important to acknowledge that these two emotions can co-exist with each other.

My HG pregnancy was the main driving force for wanting to work with people who experience adverse experiences during and post pregnancy. Especially Hyperemesis.
I want to break down the stigmas of how society has us believe we're supposed to feel about becoming parents, because for some people, that's not the instant gush of love and feeling elated.

The amount of parents I talk to who express feelings of shame because they're not loving every second of parenthood is devastating. Or the shame because their pregnancy was hard, and they thought about ending that pregnancy because they were desperate for a break. Or those that did end a wanted pregnancy because they felt so backed into a corner by something completely outside of their control.

How devastating that these people feel shame where if society, health professionals and everyone else validated their experiences, provided kindness and empathy would possibly have a different outcome and their mental wellbeing not in tatters.

Today has been about reflecting on my own experiences and all those people I've had the absolute honour of working with in the past, and will work with in the future.

For anyone ever impacted by the horrors of Hyperemesis Gravidarum, I see you and I hear you.

If you've been impacted or are currently experiencing a HG pregnancy, or any other pregnancy related matter, please get in touch to explore how counselling could help you. ❤️

Marie x
Fellow HG sufferer

10/05/2026

I truly believe there is something incredibly healing about speaking to the younger versions of ourselves with the wisdom we carry today. Reassuring the parts of us that once felt uncertain, overwhelmed, or afraid that one day, things would be okay. ❤️

And it’s rarely just one version of ourselves that needs that compassion. There are so many past versions of me I’d want to gently hold and reassure — from childhood through to womanhood, through every milestone, heartbreak, challenge, and season of growth along the way.

Sometimes I also wonder what future me — 20 or 30 years from now — would say to the version of me I am today. I look forward to hearing her words. ❤️

This can be such a powerful way to validate our past experiences, reconnect with ourselves, and nurture self-compassion. It’s something I often explore with clients within the therapy room.

If you’d like to explore how counselling could support you, I’d love to hear from you. ❤️

08/05/2026

I did a thing today! 😂

I was 16 when I got my first tattoo, which is a small Japanese symbol on my back that I picked from a folder as I walked into this tattoo shop off the cuff and asked if they'd tattoo me! Over the years, I've had more meaningful artwork tattooed to my body, each one with a story that means something to me.

Here is the latest! ❤️ As most people will know, I'm abit obsessed with the sea. It's my safe place and somewhere that regulates my nervous system almost instantly. I also love all the creatures that live in our oceans, in particular, an octopus. 🐙

I discovered some years ago that the sole purpose of a female octopus is to procreate. Once she's laid her eggs, she protects and nurtures them and dedicates herself to ensuring her young's survival. She doesn't eat and completely abandons herself. Once her eggs have hatched and her purpose completed, she dies.

I learnt this whilst knee deep in postnatal depression and anxiety, completely lost in who I was and trying to figure out if it was possible to be more than "just a mum".
Whilst I always knew I wanted to be a mum, I also knew I wanted more for myself in terms of my career and interests that were just for me. But I found that after becoming a mum, the pressure to "love every second" and to dedicate myself solely to being a mum was overwhelming. And desperate to fit in with societal standards, I went along with what I thought would present me as a good mum. Like an octopus, I abandoned myself emotionally.

Thankfully, I haven't been in that space for a few years now and enjoy a wonderfully fulfilling career and interests outside of motherhood and have zero guilt about it. Because unlike an octopus, women have more purpose than motherhood, and this beautiful tattoo represents that for me.

This week has been Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week where I've seen some many wonderful posts about advocating for the mental health difficulties that birthing people may experience during and post pregnancy. My message to everyone as we come to the end of this empowering week: being a mum doesn't mean you can't have all the other things in life you want and desire. ❤️

05/05/2026

My lovely friend makes awesome arty stuff! 😍

He made a sign a few months ago which he put up for grabs in our town and I was gutted to have missed out on it. So because he's a good egg, he made one just for me to be displayed in my counselling room. ☺️

It's the first thing you see as you walk into my room. So as soon as my clients walk through my door, the first message they receive is - "YOU ARE ENOUGH".

It's the message I want everyone that walks through my door to hear and feel. And whilst I believe I deliver that message in all ways I possibly can, it's not written on the wall as you walk in!

So thank you to for this wonderful addition to my room and helping me to send that important message.

01/05/2026

It's taken me a very long time to get the self care thing right. Even though I talk about its importance several times a day, I'd say it's only been in the last 6-12 months that I've actually found the balance.

When I became a mum, I struggled to believe I could have a life outside of motherhood. It doesn't help that society shames mums for doing things for themselves and I had chronic people pleasing tendencies so was desperate for confirmation I was a good mum. Those tendencies haven't completely gone away but I'm addressing them constantly by doing things that make me happy - which is sometimes outside of being a mum.

So last week I went away on a girls trip to Switzerland which was amazing. Today, I've popped down to for another contrast therapy session. I type this sat in the newly done up garden area drinking a hot chocolate which is beautifully dedicated to Veterans.

I'm not feeling guilty about not being at home. I'm enjoying this moment right now, simply because I know I deserve it. ❤️

If you haven't already visited, get down here and give this a go.

Happy Friday people. Go and do something amazing for yourself. You deserve it.

24/04/2026

I recently saw a female celebrity I like get ripped apart (mostly by other women) for going on a solo holiday and leaving behind her kids and partner.

I saw how other people were insisting she was selfish for not putting her kids first and even some comments about how she didn't deserve to have children if she was going to leave them for a week to go away.

I saw all this a week before me and two of my best friends (also mums) were getting on a plane and coming away for a girls trip....child free! Our kids are at home being looked after by their other parents. Now I appreciate I'm in a place of privilege to be part of a two parent household and I know what I'm doing right now isn't always possible for single parents for whatever reasons. But, can we for a moment recognise that for set ups where there are two parents, the responsibility does not fall solely on the mother to do all of the parenting where she completely abandons herself.

Shaming mums for doing something for themselves is not ok. No one shames a dad when he goes off for a boys weekend away or out for the night etc, so why does this happen to mums?

I did, for a moment hesitate in posting this because I don't like the idea of getting bashed on the internet by people but I realised that I'm not doing anything wrong. And, the more we normalise that women are more than just mothers and we can have lives outside of our kids, the less shame we'll feel for looking after our own needs within the whirlwind that is motherhood.

For anyone interested, we're in Geneva and it's gorgeous!! ❤️

22/04/2026

Su***de is not a one size fits all situation. It's not just the person who can't get out of bed, unable to leave their house and who is visibly distressed.

It's your neighbour who you have a chat to when you see them in the street.
It's the person at the supermarket check out making small talk as you pay for your shopping.
It's your child's school teacher telling you how well they're doing in class.
It's your hairdresser listening to your latest gossip.

Suicidal thoughts can be ANYONE. Let's not assume that because someone is smiling and going about life that they're not immune to this intense darkness.

If someone tells you they're not ok, then that means they're not ok. Don't mistake your perception of their life for something that it's not.

Su***de is the leading cause of death for men under the age of 50.
Su***de is the leading cause of maternal death from 6 weeks to 1 year post pregnancy.

These are preventable deaths. Use these tools above for helpful ways of talking to anyone about su***de.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts right now, please reach out to someone.

Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.

***de ***deawarenessandprevention

11/04/2026

* Emetophobia *

The intense fear of all things vomit.

I developed this following my HG pregnancy where I was so sick for so long, over 9 years later I still struggle to tolerate anything sick related.

Our long haired cat (the one I've spoken about before who hates me because I went away for a week and came home with a baby) is very sicky. The little bu**er waited until about a minute after my husband and son left the house and decided to throw up all over the hallway. Which of course triggered me so I threw up too. Cue me cleaning up not only the cats vomit, but my own too. All whilst repeating that I'm not pregnant (considering I have no womb anymore, you'd think this part of my brain would rationalise this, but no!) to prevent my nervous system going into panic mode.

Pretty sure the car does this to punish me still! 😂
But in all seriousness, Emetophobia can be utterly awful to live with. Having a process for when you're triggered is important - mine is to repeat what is the reality of why I'm sick in that moment.

For people currently going through a HG pregnancy with Emetophobia, I appreciate this is much more challenging. Keep yourself grounded and in the moment as much as possible remembering this will pass. ❤️

If anyone else has any helpful tips to share around managing this condition, please share for mine and anyone else's benefit. ❤️

03/04/2026

We're heading to West Wales for Easter - fingers crossed the sun comes out, it's raining on our way there!

Currently reading Bimbo by - highly recommend, it's really made me think about the subtle misogyny I've faced.

Always looking for new books, so let me know if you have any suggestions! Back to reading for now.

Happy Easter weekend ❤️

🐰

20/03/2026

I've used the Health Hwb a few times now and could honestly not recommend these guys enough.

The most approachable and welcoming people. What they're doing for Veterans is just incredible so please share this to anyone who would benefit. ❤️

🧡🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 ATTENTION TO ALL VETERANS 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿💙

it’s that time again...

If you’re a veteran in Barry or the Vale of Glamorgan, this one’s for you.

Our Hwb for Heroes Veterans Wellbeing Day is back on Tuesday 31st March, from 2pm until 9pm.

This is a safe, welcoming space to switch off, relax, reset and reconnect with no pressure and no expectations.

As part of the day, veterans can book a free 1-hour contrast therapy session using the sauna and ice bath, completely free of charge. There will also be the option to use our pressotherapy, giving you even more chance to rest, recover and recharge.

It’s our way of giving something back to those who have given so much.

Never tried any of it before? No problem at all we’ll talk you through everything and support you every step of the way.

Whether you come for the therapy, a brew and a chat, or just to be around people who understand, this space is yours.

You served us. Now let us look after you.

To book your free session, contact Jake directly:

📞 07488 571666

Wellness belongs to everyone.
We're making sure of it

💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇬🇧🧡

14/03/2026

On the eve of Mother's Day, I've had a little reflection on a part of tomorrow that I feel goes a little unnoticed.

The mums who are currently learning to be the parent to themselves that they never had and maybe still don't.

For some mums, becoming a parent brings up something rarely spoken about. When you grew up with unmet needs, neglect, or childhood trauma, motherhood can stir up deep emotions. You may find yourself trying to give your children the love, safety, and care you didn’t receive. And while that can be incredibly powerful, it can also be exhausting and painful.

Because every day you are trying to become the mother you needed… while still carrying the child inside you who didn’t get that.

Mother’s Day messaging often focuses on celebrating mums for everything they do. And that’s important. But what isn’t talked about enough is the emotional weight some mothers carry behind the scenes.

The grief for the childhood you didn’t have.
The confusion of learning how to nurture when it wasn’t modelled to you.
The pressure you may feel to “get it right.”

If this resonates with you, please know this:
You are not failing.
You are beaking generational patterns.
Learning a new way to love.
Showing up for your children while healing yourself.

That is not easy work. And it deserves recognition too.
This Mother’s Day, it’s okay if your feelings are mixed. Joy and grief can exist at the same time.

And if you’re mothering your children while also learning how to care for your own wounded parts — that matters.

So this Mother's Day - celebrate YOU! The mother you are to your kids and the mother you need for you. ❤️