30/07/2025
I’ve been working a lot more with families lately, something I did in my very first solution focused social work job back in the early 2000s. I was reflecting with my clinical supervisor, who was also one of my old social care managers, on the difference that the solution focused approach can make to our everyday interactions with children and young people.
What I notice again and again is the good intentions of parents and caregivers. Their hope for their child or young person to be at their best. To have opportunities beyond the ones they had. To be able to cope and manage with the complexities of life. These hopes come from a place of deep care. But sometimes they’re delivered in a way that just doesn’t work for children and young people.
As they grow, become more independent and move towards being autonomous young adults, they often want something different. A different kind of dialogue. A shift in how conversations are held. A sense of being listened to rather than managed.
Inviting parents and caregivers into a space where they can gently tweak the way they communicate and express their hopes can make a huge difference. I’ve had the privilege of being in spaces where parents and young people come together. I ask them to think about what they hope for from the conversation, what they want to be heard, and what they hope to take from it.
Sometimes, it’s the smallest of things that make the biggest difference.
A parent sitting back and listening instead of giving their opinion.
A to-do list created together rather than handed over.
A shared plan.
An alarm clock in the young person’s room so they can manage their own time, instead of a parent calling up the stairs each morning.
The ripple effect of these tiny changes can be huge. As one young person said to me,
“It’s helped us have better everyday conversations and made it easier for me to be more open with my parents.”
