04/05/2026
For Dying Matters Week, parents Charlotte and Alex tell how Claire House saw them through the darkest of times when their son Finley died.
"Our son Finley arrived into the world in November 2021. Born at 23 weeks, he was fighting for his life from the moment he was born.
"At eight minutes old his heart still wasn't beating. We were told we were losing him, and I was encouraged to speak to him. As I did his heart started again, and it felt like a magical connection had been formed between us outside of my womb.
"Finley was then whisked away to intensive care, and our neonatal rollercoaster of a journey began. Staying on the maternity ward was a painful reminder of how different our journey of parenthood was to other parents enjoying their newborn cuddles.
"Paula and Kat from Claire House Children's Hospice came to see us. I struggle to remember our first conversation, at the time I was still in disbelief that my baby was no longer dancing around inside me. They visited us regularly over the following weeks and months, and we always appreciated their friendly and gentle approach.
"Finley took a turn for the worse and palliative care was suggested as the next step for Finley. After my husband Alex, Paula was the next person I called. She was so supportive.
"Kat was there for us all throughout Finley's final moments and also arranged for a photographer to take some photos. We are incredibly grateful to Claire House, for supporting us and Finley and helping us to make memories together as a family.
"Finley's big brother Jasper was able to stay with us after Finley died and had full access to all the wonderful facilities. He loved the art room and the playground. He loved playing with all the toys and the staff were wonderful with him. During the hardest time of our lives, we still needed to look after Jasper and Claire House made that so much easier.
"We attended our first ‘Butterfly’ parental bereavement group just two weeks after Finley's funeral. As I sat there the tears started to fall and I struggled to find the words to tell our story. The unspoken understanding between us all was one of our few comforts and still is today.
"Losing Finley created overwhelming emotions alongside crippling isolation from some close to us who were sadly unable to acknowledge or understand the lasting significance of our loss. Connecting with others at the Butterfly Group has helped me to feel less alone. The first Tuesday of each month became our Finley day, a day for my husband and I to share our feelings.
"We have made lasting friendships with other bereaved parents we've met at the Butterfly Group. Being on maternity leave without a living baby is incredibly hard, and meeting up with others in a similar position has enabled me to get through the early months, particularly once my husband returned to work.
"Lynsay, one of the Mums I've met through the Butterfly Group also has an older child Jacob. Watching Jasper and Jacob play together has been lovely. Even at their young age, I think they find comfort in knowing they are not the only ones to have little brothers who have died. After one of our play dates, Jasper said, “Mummy, you and Lynsay were talking together, me and Jacob were playing together and somewhere Finley's and Noah's cots are next to each other too”.
"Claire House also arrange regular wellbeing days for bereaved Mums with yoga and sound healing. Attending these sessions with the focus on healing together on our grief journey was very comforting to me. I've also benefitted hugely from treatments with the therapies team, reflexology has kept me grounded and balanced, giving me some much needed 'me' time where I can relax and switch off fully.
"Losing Finley has broken my heart and I can't imagine how we could have got through the last year without the care and support from Claire House. We are so grateful to you all for the work you do."
Charlotte & Alex Bouton
