Sorrel Pindar, Resilience in Relationship

Sorrel Pindar, Resilience in Relationship Relationship & well-being coach: I work with clients wanting happier relationships and less stress. No one is trying to fix you or suggest strategies.

I help overworked professionals who are battling with their mental health attain calm and vitality, by helping them connect with their inner well-being ⚛️ When there are unexpected bumps in the road, my clients find a different perspective and move through to a calmer place ⚛️ What coaching brings is listening with no agenda.

Remember the original Tuck Shop? For some of us it was the one place at school that felt like a treat, a bit of comfort,...
17/01/2026

Remember the original Tuck Shop? For some of us it was the one place at school that felt like a treat, a bit of comfort, or a literal taste of home.

As adults, we still need that "tuck." Not the sweets or the cake, but the emotional nourishment of being around people who get it without us having to explain the boarding school shorthand.

Our new community, The Tuck Shop, is a place to drop the armour, share a story and find the tools to move on from those old wounds of early separation.

It’s a space for healing, but it’s also a space for warmth.

The doors open this month. Come and see what’s in store: https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/the-tuck-shop

To the partners of ex-boarders: We see you.You love someone who is brilliant, yet sometimes feels miles away even when t...
16/01/2026

To the partners of ex-boarders: We see you.

You love someone who is brilliant, yet sometimes feels miles away even when they’re sitting right next to you. You’ve felt the "shutdown," the hyper-independence, and the walls that go up when things get emotional.

You shouldn’t have to navigate this alone.

The Tuck Shop is a community for you, too. It’s a place to understand the "why" behind those behaviours and find a path toward a deeper, more connected relationship.

Join a community that understands your side of the story: https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/the-tuck-shop

Final Call: Making the Invisible Visible: How to Reclaim Your True Self from Your Survival Mask.One hour can change how ...
12/01/2026

Final Call: Making the Invisible Visible: How to Reclaim Your True Self from Your Survival Mask.

One hour can change how you see your past - and the future.

After a week of discussing the boarding school experience and the masks we've worn to survive it, our workshop kicks off tomorrow.

We will be moving from theory to practice. In one hour, we’ll explore:

- Why the mask was necessary then, but may be constraining now.
- Understanding the "Invisible" impact of your school years.
- First steps to identifying your specific "Survival Mask."
- How to begin the process of reclaiming your true self.

Time: 12pm UK | Location: Zoom | Register here: https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/making-the-invisible-visible

The trauma we experienced at school made us push so much undergroundA child experiencing the grief of loss - with no one...
11/01/2026

The trauma we experienced at school made us push so much underground

A child experiencing the grief of loss - with no one to go to - has to hide that grief. We can’t express it because we know it will trigger others, so we keep it under wraps – we cried under the bedclothes or in the toilet.

This is worse for boys, because in our culture boys don’t cry. Even without boarding school boys are supposed not to cry after about the age of 7. But in a boarding school that prohibition is starker – there is NO safe space in which to express those feelings, there’s no access to anyone who might give you a hug or comfort you.

The longer term outcome of all this may come to look like:

🛑 Lack of empathy
🛑 Entitlement
🛑 Emotional unavailability
🛑 Dismissiveness

This has been true of almost all the ex-boarder men I have worked with (though they don’t usually show all those traits).

The magic is the transformation that happens when they want to show up for their partners and children. Like my client John (not his real name):

💖 He’s learned to offer comfort where before he would have been dismissive of his wife’s needs.
💖 He’s discovered how much he enjoys being there for his family instead of always prioritising his work.
💖 He’s started to explore the inner world of his own needs and emotions and to find out what’s in there.

This is the art of making the invisible visible – the things we pushed so deep underground that we lost touch with them completely.

Come along to my workshop on Tuesday at 12pm to find out more:
💻 Free online event for ex-boarders and their partners
🔗 https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/making-the-invisible-visible

I’ve started to notice that I’m becoming even more invisible latelyIf you watched Riot Women on BBC iPlayer you may have...
09/01/2026

I’ve started to notice that I’m becoming even more invisible lately

If you watched Riot Women on BBC iPlayer you may have noticed how women of a certain age (ie 50+) seem to become invisible

It’s ironic really – after a lifetime trying to be invisible, just as I decide to become more visible, people seem to look right through me

And maybe just maybe, it’s part of the legacy of boarding school – that to become visible after keeping my head down for so long is running against the tide

If you’ve noticed a push-pull between wanting to be seen, while still wanting to keep your head below the parapet, this workshop may offer some insight

Making the Invisible Visible: How to Reclaim Your True Self from Your Survival Mask
January 13th, 12pm GMT – online, no charge

Go to the comments to find where to register

There is so much hidden behind the mask of the boarding school child’s survival personality:Needs, emotions, trust, and ...
08/01/2026

There is so much hidden behind the mask of the boarding school child’s survival personality:
Needs, emotions, trust, and often their voice.

But there’s something truly precious hidden behind that mask as well.

When you realise that you created your survival personality as a way to keep you safe…

That it was the wisest, most intelligent thing to do...

That it’s the reason you are still here on the planet…

You have to ask ‘who was that wise person who created that mask when I was still just a child?’

Who was it then?

That was who you truly are – your own innate source of wisdom, creativity, safety and indeed trust.

It’s been hidden for so long, and now it’s ready to become visible.

Find out more about this at my workshop at 12pm on Tuesday:
Making the Invisible Visible: How to Reclaim Your True Self from Your Survival Mask

Book your place here: https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/making-the-invisible-visible

We grieve not just what happened.....but what we left behind.One of the things I left behind when I went to school was t...
08/01/2026

We grieve not just what happened...
..but what we left behind.

One of the things I left behind when I went to school was the rabbit I used to take to bed - I thought it would be too embarrassing to come to school with a cuddly toy.

I was lucky – I soon discovered that most of the other girls had brought teddies with them, so I wrote and asked my Mum to send Bunny in a parcel.

Bunny duly arrived and maybe she gave me some comfort.

But we had all lost the comfort of home – the care and tenderness. And in the face of a complete absence of care our needs went underground.

We learned not to ask for care or tenderness because it simply wasn’t available.

And so those needs became invisible to us just as much as they were to each other. What do you do when you don't even know what it is you need? Without that clarity adult relationships are difficult - how can it be otherwise when you don't know what your needs are or how to express them to your partner.

Bringing your needs to the surface is one aspect of making the invisible visible – whatever has been hidden behind the mask of your boarding school survival personality.

Join me on Tuesday while we explore together what needs to made visible for you to live a life in full colour:

Making the Invisible Visible: How to Reclaim Your True Self from Your Survival Mask

This workshop is for men and women who went to boarding school, and their partners.
📅 13th Jan 2026 · 12pm (UK time) · online
Book your place here: https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/making-the-invisible-visible

There’s so much that remains hidden for those of us who went to boarding school.For some it starts with hiding the fact ...
06/01/2026

There’s so much that remains hidden for those of us who went to boarding school.

For some it starts with hiding the fact that we went to boarding school...
The privilege is just too embarrassing.

For others it may be that we hide the fact that we didn’t cope too well while we were there.

We learned to bury our feelings, our needs and our voice. It was easier just to keep your head down and not be noticed.

And then there's the hurt...
Whether it was about your parents’ decision to send you away or the bullying or rejection you experienced from other children.

Getting out of the long shadow of boarding school requires us to make visible the things we’ve hidden.

Bringing the hurt to light is the first step to healing it.

Come to my workshop next Tuesday and discover the power of making the invisible visible:

💻 Free online workshop for ex-boarders and their partners, January 13th, 12pm
🔗https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/making-the-invisible-visible

Last chance to join tonight’s free masterclass.Many ex-boarders learned to survive by wearing a mask. Competent, self-co...
17/12/2025

Last chance to join tonight’s free masterclass.

Many ex-boarders learned to survive by wearing a mask.
Competent, self-contained, emotionally guarded.

But that same mask can quietly affect adult relationships.

This evening, we'll be exploring:
* why these patterns form
* how they show up in adulthood
* what becomes possible when the mask begins to soften

🕡 Today, 6.30pm (UK time)
🔗 sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

The masterclass is the day after tomorrow, and I wanted to share a little more about what this session is really about.S...
15/12/2025

The masterclass is the day after tomorrow, and I wanted to share a little more about what this session is really about.

So many ex-boarders notice the same emotional patterns repeating in their adult lives in relationships, in conflict, in moments of closeness or vulnerability... without fully understanding where they began. These patterns are not personal failings. They are survival strategies, learned early, when we needed them.

This masterclass offers a space to gently explore those strategies:
Why they formed, how they once protected you, and why they may now be limiting connection, ease and emotional freedom.

If you’ve been curious but unsure, it’s not too late to book your place.
You’re very welcome to join us!

🔎 Beyond Survival: Reconnecting With the Self Behind the Mask
⏲️ 17th December at 6.30pm (UK time)

👉 Register here: www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

For many ex-boarders, that mask... the one built from self-control, independence, and perfectionism... once protected us...
13/12/2025

For many ex-boarders, that mask... the one built from self-control, independence, and perfectionism... once protected us.
But over time, it can hide who we really are.

Join me for a free online masterclass to explore how to reconnect with the self behind the mask, and discover gentler ways to feel safe, open, and deeply connected again.

✨ Beyond Survival: Reconnecting With the Self Behind the Mask
📅 17 December · 6.30pm (UK)
🔗 https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/beyond-survival-masterclass

30/08/2025

This group programme will help you understand better why your ex-boarder husband has so much trouble expressing his emotions and being intimate with their you. You'll discover how boarding school shapes the child's character and you'll learn some new tools to make it easier to reach him.

Address

Bedford

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 11am - 7pm
Wednesday 10am - 5:30pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm

Website

https://www.sorrelpindar.co.uk/making-the-invisible-visible, https://www.sorrelpindar.c

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