Thomas Elliott Counselling

02/02/2026

Today marks the start of Sexual Abuse & Sexual Violence Awareness Week.

Sexual abuse, whether experienced in childhood or later in life, can have long‑lasting emotional, physical and psychological impacts. Many survivors live for years, even decades, without being able to speak out.

Did you know: It takes a man on average of 26 years to feel ready to share childhood sexual abuse.

This week, we honour survivors’ strength, raise awareness of the realities of abuse and continue pushing for a culture where every individual is safe, heard and supported.

💜 You are believed. You are not alone.

02/02/2026

22/01/2026

When it’s over, leave.

Not everything that ends is a failure.
Not everything that breaks is meant to be repaired.

Continuing to water a dead flower doesn’t revive it—
it only drains you.

In Buddhism, this is the wisdom of impermanence.
All things arise.
All things fade.
Suffering begins when we refuse to accept this truth.

We stay too long in places that no longer nourish us.
We cling to people who have already let go.
We replay old stories, hoping effort will resurrect what has already ended.

But effort without awareness becomes attachment.

Some things don’t need fixing.
They need release.

Letting go is not abandonment.
It’s clarity.
It’s knowing when love has turned into endurance,
and hope has turned into self-betrayal.

The monk does not chase a fading shadow.
He bows, thanks the lesson, and walks on.

So when it’s done—
leave with grace.
Leave with gratitude.
Leave without bitterness.

Because peace doesn’t come from holding on longer.
It comes from knowing when to stop watering what can no longer grow. 🕊️🌿

27/10/2025

I’ve been a counsellor for over 10 years. My 3rd career . Today has been a significant day . One client at the successful end of his journey and has turned his life around all credit to him. On the same day another fellow traveller on the beginning of his journey . Both clients showing courage in sitting with their insecurities and fears .
Both have some degree of neurodiversity that they didn’t understand . It’s always unfortunate that someone has spotted their difference and then used it to fill a hole in themselves to the detriment of someone else . Both clients have been victims of coercive and controlling behaviour and domestic violence.
When outsiders witness this they deal with it lightly . When if the victim had been a woman the perpetrator would have been arrested . Men are victims too . Domestic violence is a power dynamic abused by some regardless of gender .

21/01/2025

https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=1244995&post_id=155239809&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1wmp96&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjoxMTUyNzMwNTAsInBvc3RfaWQiOjE1NTIzOTgwOSwiaWF0IjoxNzM3MzY5MDE3LCJleHAiOjE3Mzk5NjEwMTcsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xMjQ0OTk1Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.kIKfP2NP_dja0c2pBZupdulk7OenxcU_f0BVO8dpjT4

Tributes have poured in for a much-loved and well-respected police officer

20/01/2025

American actor Clint Eastwood, 95, recently delivered a heartfelt speech, saying, "Growing old can be pretty scary, right? You find yourself witnessing everything around you. Your bones don’t move as easily, your eyes feel weary from the light, and your lungs often crave a break from that exhausting breath. But what’s even scarier and more exhausting is reaching ninety and realizing there’s no one you love nearby, listening with a hint of disinterest to your tales filled with imagined heroics. You know they may not care, but you still take joy, like a grandfather, in sharing what you think matters with your grandkids. It’s frightening to be alone when everyone used to seek you out, and after a lifetime of chasing the light, you end up without a family, living in darkness when you really needed someone to guide you toward the light! So, make it a priority to build a family. Chasing fame is like chasing ashes blown away by the wind; it neither ignites a fire nor stays put."

31/12/2024

As the year comes to an end, use these 50 questions as a starting point to explore your achievements and goals

The concept of ‘New Year resolutions’ has been widely studied, including in 2020 research published in the journal PLoS One. In this study, researchers investigated what resolutions people make when they feel free to formulate them, and whether there is an increased likelihood of the resolution's success when information and exercises on effective goal setting is offered. What they found was that participants with approach-oriented goals were significantly more successful than those with avoidance-oriented goals – for example, if the goal was to be healthier, the goal of ‘be more active in daily life’ would be more effective than ‘lose weight’. On top of that, the group who received the support on goal setting were also more successful than those who didn’t. The support they were given? Someone to check in with about their goals, information on coping with hurdles, and additional exercises around their goals.

You may be able to replicate these findings by working with a professional, like a life coach – but you can also take steps to get really intentional about what you want to achieve in the coming year, all by yourself.

We’re creeping ever-closer to the end of 2024 and with it comes the perfect prompt to reflect on where we’re at. It could be in relation to some dreams or goals of yours, or simply your overall state of mind. Whatever it is, making time to intentionally explore what’s going on inside can help us develop a greater understanding of where we are and what we need. So, use these 50 questions to explore the year that’s just past, uncover what is and isn’t working for you, and carve out a plan for the year that’s about to begin.

1. What things are different from last year?
2. What things have remained the same?
3.How would you describe your overall wellbeing right now?
4. What moments from the past year excited you?
5. If you could return to this time last year, what would you do differently?
6. What would you do the same?
7. List three achievements from the past year that you’re proud of.
8. What were some of the personal challenges that you faced this year?
9. What was the best thing you learned this year?
10. How do you feel about your physical health?
11. How do you feel about your mental health?
12. What can you do now that you couldn’t do this time last year?
13. What were some of the happiest moments from the past year?
14. How do you feel about your relationships?
15.What were some of the hardest moments?
16. Did you make any new habits?
17. Is there anything you wished you did more of?
18. How do you feel about your relationship with technology?
19. Did anything surprising happen to you this year?
20. Did your relationship with yourself change?
21. What did you overcome?
22. Did you feel stressed often?
23. What new experiences did you have?
24. Did you receive the support that you needed?
25. How do you feel about your work-life balance?
26. What is the main thing you would like to achieve this coming year?
27. What small steps will you take to make it happen?
28. Who in your life offers you the best support?
29. What three things are you passionate about?
30. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
31. What makes you feel excited?
32. How do you best learn new things?
33. What is a dream that you have always had?
34. What do you want to keep the same?
35. What makes you feel drained?
36. How would you like to make an impact on the world around you?
37. What are your best qualities?
38. Are there any habits you would like to break?
39. Who inspires you?
40. Do you have any childhood dreams you’d like to come true?
41. How will you take care of yourself in the coming year?
42. What are the signs that you need to take a break?
43. What things make you feel motivated?
44. How do you work best?
45. What does success look like to you?
46. How do you overcome hurdles?
47. What new experiences are you looking forward to?
48.What makes you feel fulfilled?
49.
How are you going to prioritise joy?
Where do you want to be in a year’s time?
TRENDING

25/11/2024

Our Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer MP, said “healthy, happy children is not a nice to have, it’s a basic right”. We couldn’t agree more, so now it’s time for the Government to turn words into actions. Find out how we’re asking him to make the world less heavy for young people Earning y...

25/01/2024

Survivors’ Voices Matter. 💜

We cannot state enough the impact that child abuse has on individuals, both as a child and going forward into adult life.

The UK government implementing recommendations from the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse is absolutely vital for helping survivors and future generations to come. This country is simply not doing enough to safeguard and care for those exposed to abusive situations.

We will continue to amplify survivor stories, spread awareness, and stand united against child abuse, maintaining our commitment to Act on IICSA. We’re working for a world where every child can grow up in safety and security. 🌍

28/03/2023

Anyone can experience the symptoms of a mental health difficulty, it can be genetic or brought about by extremes of emotional stress, for example. A symptom of mental illness can be thoughts or feelings that are difficult to deal with, or that prevent a person from getting on with life as usual. In severe cases, individuals may think about self-injuring, or may actually injure themselves, if they are finding life situations too difficult to deal with.

Mental ill health affect an individual’s thoughts and feelings and change how they view the world. Some feelings associated with mental ill health are:

anxiety
hopelessness
low self-esteem
sadness
These feelings affect an individual’s mental well-being and stop their ability to carry on with normal life. At a point where these feelings become more intense, occur over a long period of time, or affect the way a person normally lives, a doctor may make a diagnosis of a ‘mental health problem’. In some cases, the problems are only temporary and the individual can recover. In other cases, individuals can experience severe and enduring mental ill health which may require long-term treatment.