21/07/2023
Hello, I am All About You Mumma - How Are YOU?.
I thought a good way to start this page would be to give you a little bit of background about myself, and how this venture has come about.
Firstly, my name is Charlotte. I am a mumma to my two beautiful children, Rupert and Marnie who are roughly 16 months apart in age. I live in Berkhamsted with my husband, kids and our pup Bertie.
Prior to this venture, I studied Real Estate to a Masters degree and have always worked in this industry in some shape or form but have predominantly been pretty customer relations focused.
Before becoming a Mother, I feel that I planned and researched everything that I possibly could about this journey we were embarking on. We attended antenatal classes, read guidebooks, completed a hypnobirthing course...you name it, we did it!
But when our son Rupert was born, I suddenly felt totally unprepared. What was going on? This wasn't what I was expecting?
Alongside the total joy and elation of having our healthy baby boy, there were feelings that I was having, that I NEVER imagined would come with becoming a parent. Not only was I unimaginably exhausted from nearly a week long labour, I suddenly felt lost. I had this all consuming guilt that I just couldn't shake, I was emotional and angry, and just did not know if these were "normal" feelings to feel.
On health visitor checks, I would try and hide these emotions, as I was convincing myself if I let on I was this tired/ emotional, then they would think I was crazy and take my baby away. I found myself getting so mad with my husband, because Rupert would settle for him with a formula bottle, but if i breastfed I could be there for hours upon hours, and he still wouldn't be satisfied. And all the while, the house is going to pot, my washing basket is overflowing, we are living off biscuits. These are all responsibilities I feel should be down to me as Im “now not working”. More exhaustion. Physically and emotionally. I was just doubting myself so much! But I just did not know who I could be this honest with (apart from my husband), without someone judging me.
I started feeling like everything you read or learnt about in the lead up is basically preparing you for birth, but nowhere really tells you about the entire realities of what that fourth trimester can be like. It took me a while to start opening up to some close friends about how I was feeling, and it slowly dawned on me that all of these emotions were things felt by SO many other women. This sudden loss of identity that you can experience at such a joyful part of your life caused me the craziest mix of emotions, and I suddenly felt relieved that I was not alone.
Just to clarify, I don’t think I had any post natal depression, but the whole experience got me thinking how sad it is that there could be so many new mums out there feeling things like this and not knowing what to do with themselves. I am extremely lucky that I have a huge support network around me; both friends and family. Also my husband is an absolute angel, he is my biggest fan and literally is my rock. But if you were isolated from such a village, how much worse could that make someone feel? Why do we not talk about these things more openly, or provide new mums with support for this more readily?
And that is where this stemmed from. Over my next pregnancy with my daughter, and into the fourth trimester with her I kept thinking more and more about it, and how I just wish I could just find a way to support and lend a helping hand to any new mums or families that may want it. Even if it was just a case of asking a new mum “are you okay?” rather than focusing on their little one. Just so they knew they were not alone. I kept thinking of what I found to be the most helpful things for our family when we were in the thick of newborn life? Maybe home cooked meals made by friends and family? Basic help with chores, or a little bit of me time.
So here we are! I have decided to train as a postnatal doula so that I can provide help and guidance to new families as they navigate through parenthood, but want to also focus on empowering new mumma’s throughout this journey, whilst they find their new identity. Babies are such a beautiful blessing, and our kids have brought my husband and I joy like no other, but it is important to me that the realities of the somewhat “crappier” moments are spoken about so that people do feel comfortable talking about it. If I can help doing just that, I’ll be happy.
So join me on my journey into doula hood, and hopefully I can share some funny, helpful, insightful and empowering content along the way. But fin the meantime if anyone ever wants a chat, slip me a message :) x
Feeling grateful for our team who help us navigate through everything ❤️❤️❤️ Another reason for wanting to become a doula, to try and help give someone else that well needed support.
We were not meant to do this alone. Find your team and do it TOGETHER ❤️
