21/10/2025
💭 The psychological side of stool withholding 💭
When children withhold poo, it’s not usually because they’re being “stubborn”. It’s often rooted in fear, anxiety or uncertainty around toileting.
🧠 Many children begin withholding after a painful poo. The memory of that discomfort creates a strong association between pooing and pain, so they do everything they can to avoid it happening again. This fear response can become automatic over time.
😟 Some children develop anxiety or a lack of confidence around using the toilet or potty. They may be especially aware of the sensations in their tummy or bottom but don’t yet know how to interpret them, so they try to control or ignore them instead.
🚽 The transition to the potty or toilet can also feel overwhelming. A different position, a new environment, or even the sound of flushing can create sensory or emotional discomfort.
✨ Other psychological factors that can contribute include:
• Feeling a loss of control, especially during big life changes
• Wanting to hold on to familiarity, as nappies can feel safe
• Embarrassment or privacy worries, particularly for older children
• A natural avoidance response that becomes a learnt habit
💡 Understanding these psychological barriers is the first step in helping children feel safe and confident to poo again. Building trust, routine and reassurance, rather than pressure, helps their body and mind start working with them, not against them.
📘 Comment BOOK for my stool withholding practical guide, written specifically for parents to help identify the factors contributing to withholding and offering practical solutions to tackle them.
