01/06/2025
Saying “no” feels risky. It sparks guilt, fear of disappointing others, or worse — conflict.
Let’s talk about where that fear comes from…
Perhaps you grew up and put in a role that meant being a people pleaser was met with approval from others because it met their needs. This made others feel good, which makes you feel good right? This reinforces the belief that to feel good we must please others.
Perhaps we got rejected for being who we are, but the criticism for being ‘different’ signalled that its wrong to be ourselves so we try a different ‘strategy’ and be something else. People love it..so we continue!
People-pleasing looks like kindness on the outside—
but inside, it’s often a survival strategy wrapped in fear.
When your nervous system equates approval with safety, you say yes too much, set yourself on fire to keep others warm and call it being ‘reliable.’
Until burnout becomes your body’s only way of saying no. Boundaries aren’t rude. Healing means choosing yourself sometimes without guilt.
