06/12/2025
✨Firstly, I am sending a huge heartfelt bundle of “I get it” & a tight squeeze of love to anyone who needs it ❤️
✨The run up to Christmas has been hard this year. Realisation that the family just does not look the same without my mum here. Grief Awareness week has put a bit more of a magnifying glass on it too, in a good way.
✨She was literally the centre of Christmas for us all; it was none negotiable that all grandchildren, children, siblings and in-laws would meet to exchange gifts, eat my brothers home made walnut tart, dive into the many trifles and chocolates my mum would have made, the kids going wild over the Christmas piñata she had bought & lovingly shoved with endless bags of haribos.
✨It was laughter, it was sillyness and it was “us”.
✨She was the magnet that pulled us together…and now, it’s slipping away.
✨And I know it’s sad but I sit with the feeling that it’s ok.
✨There was always going to be huge shifts when she died. To me it highlights just how special to us all she was - without her, it would have to be different. Life couldn’t possibly be the same and neither should it be ❤️
✨Grief can really make you over analyse, sit on anger, regret. And I think without sitting in these feelings, it will do you an injustice. As it fuels the importance of that person for you.
✨But equally, I can’t stay there. It eats me up alive. It’s draining, it’s tiring. I have had to work through it and learn to let things go…to let life carry me along to the next chapter without her.
✨I miss her dearly and I get the feeling I have so much strong grief yet to come, but I have started to recognise what I need to accept. And Christmas no longer bringing the rest of us together in the same way is one of those things.
SUPPORT
❤️If Christmas is feeling very heavy for anyone right now, please do seek support. 🙏
✨The many grief charities offer even online chat or counselling support. Sometimes this might be enough to get you through it.
✨ have been a wonderful support for us, and I know other children charities like are amazing too.