The Relationship Specialist

10/07/2025

Do you find yourself justifying yourself or explaining what you said or did?

This can be driven by a desire to be understood, to seek validation, or to alleviate guilt or anxiety about a decision. It can also be a way to assert one's point of view in a situation where differing opinions exist.

Next time you find yourself explaining or justifying yourself, stop and ask yourself what you're feeling, what is the intention behind your actions?

Is it to satisfy the other person? To gain their approval or permission? In which case, what reaction are you desiring?

09/07/2025

A hug can convey warmth, love, support, and reassurance, making it an essential part of human interaction.

Hugs need to last at least 20 seconds, to release oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone," which can help reduce stress and anxiety. This chemical reaction in the body can promote feelings of happiness and strengthen emotional bonds between individuals. Additionally, hugs can lower blood pressure and improve heart health, contributing to overall physical well-being.

They can make people feel valued and understood. They create a sense of security and belonging, which is crucial for mental health. Whether it's a hug from a loved one or a friendly embrace between friends, this simple act creates connection and empathy, reminding us that we are not alone in our experiences.

I would offer one proviso here - ask for permission of the other person before giving a hug. For some, it can be triggering.

08/07/2025

In a world where demands and expectations are constantly changing, and it seems there are more and more demands on us, it's essential to prioritize what's truly important, which may seem impossible at times when you are pulled and pushed in so many directions.

So, may I remind you that putting your needs first isn't about being selfish; it's about ensuring that you're equipped to handle the challenges life throws your way. By focusing on your well-being, you gather the strength and resilience needed to support those around you more effectively.

When you take the time to understand and address your own needs, you create the foundation for a more balanced and fulfilling life.

22/06/2025

14/06/2025

Do you agree ?

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06/06/2025

In life, we often find ourselves at a crossroads, and we have a choice or choices to make. It's a moment of contemplation, where we must decide whether to embrace change or continue on the same road.

Each choice carries its own consequences. Changing means stepping into the unknown, challenging ourselves to grow and adapt. It requires courage and a willingness to leave behind the comfort of familiar paths, and behaviours, and with that come the same outcomes.. On the other hand, staying the same offers a semblance of security, yet it may also trap us in a cycle of negative outcomes. The decision is deeply personal, influenced by our values, experiences, and the future we fantasise about for ourselves.

As you stand at this crossroads, it's essential to reflect on what truly matters and let that guide your path forward.

05/06/2025

Feeling stress from being pulled in many directions is a common experience in today's fast-paced world. It can feel overwhelming, especially the sense of others' expectations, either real or imagined, and it seems like you're being stretched to your limits. This type of stress can come from various sources—work demands, family obligations, social commitments, and personal goals— and leaving you feeling overwrought and exhausted, emotionally and physically.

But still you soldier on, because it must be you right? Those feelings of inadequacy arise and that drives you on harder. And like an express train, you push through. Until there comes a time when you are forced to stop - you get sick, because that's your body taking over.

Enough!

How do you manage those situations?

04/06/2025

the 5 love languages
"The 5 Love Languages" refers to a concept developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, which identifies five distinct ways that people express and receive love.

Words of Affirmation involve expressing love through spoken or written words, such as compliments, expressions of appreciation, or verbal encouragement.

Acts of Service encompass performing helpful tasks or deeds for a partner, such as cooking a meal, doing household chores, or running errands.

Receiving Gifts is another love language where individuals feel most loved when they receive tangible symbols of affection.

Quality Time refers to giving undivided attention and spending meaningful moments with a partner.
Lastly, Physical Touch involves expressing love through physical contact, such as hugging, holding hands, or cuddling.

Recognizing your own love language and that of a partner can lead to a deeper understanding and more harmonious relationship. By responding to each other's needs in ways that are most appreciated, couples can foster greater emotional intimacy and connection.

They are great to explore with your partner rather than just using them as a tick box exercise, and fun to do together too.

Also an understanding of these Love languages can be useful in other relationships, whether at work or other relationships to improve those connections,

If your work colleague's Love language is Acts of Service, they may well respond favourably to being offered a cup of coffee, and how nice to make someone feel valued.