Lisa Crafter Counselling and Psychotherapy

27/03/2026

Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to my beautiful Bella 💔

For 16 years, she has been my constant companion, through some of the most difficult times in my life, including years of surgery and recovery, and through so many moments of joy, comfort, and quiet togetherness.

She wasn’t just a pet…she was family, my little shadow, my source of warmth and unconditional love.

Bella gave so much without ever asking for anything in return. Her presence was calming, steady, and deeply reassuring - always there, always close.

Letting her go was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I know it was done with love, to ease her suffering and allow her peace.

My heart is broken, and I’m going to miss her more than words can say.

Thank you, my precious Bella, for every moment, every cuddle, every memory.
You will always be part of me 💕

Sleep peacefully, my beautiful girl 🕊️

21/03/2026

Success isn’t about getting it right the first time.
It’s about getting back up - again and again.

So many of us carry a quiet pressure to be perfect, to not fail, to hold everything together. And when things don’t go to plan, it can feel like we’ve done something wrong… or that we are something wrong.

But what if falling down isn’t failure?
What if it’s part of being human?

In therapy, we often explore the parts of us that:
• feel discouraged
• want to give up
• fear trying again

And we begin, gently, to build something different —
self-compassion, resilience, and the courage to keep going.

You don’t have to do it perfectly.
You just have to keep showing up.

💛

-Going

21/03/2026

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝑹𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 (𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑮𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑨𝒏𝒚𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆): 𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆

Inspired by How to Retreat by Caroline Sylger

In a culture that encourages us to keep going, keep achieving, and keep “doing,” the idea of retreating can feel unfamiliar - even indulgent.

Yet, as Caroline Sylger beautifully explores in How to Retreat, retreat isn’t about escaping your life.
It’s about returning to yourself within it.

Retreat Isn’t Just a Place -It’s a Practice

When many people think of a retreat, they imagine something external:
A weekend away, a wellness break, somewhere quiet and far removed from everyday life.

But one of the most powerful messages from this book is that retreat can happen:
- In an hour
- In a single day
- In small, intentional moments woven into your routine.

This shifts retreat from something occasional… to something accessible and sustaining.

𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝑾𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌

In therapy, I often see how difficult it can be for people to pause.

There are often internal voices that say:
• “I should be doing something productive”
• “I don’t have time for this”
• “I’ll rest later”

These parts of us are often protective - trying to keep life functioning, avoid failure, or maintain control.

But without space to step back, we can become:
• Emotionally overwhelmed
• Disconnected from our needs
• Trapped in cycles of stress and exhaustion

Retreat as Emotional Reset

Sylger describes retreat as a way to rest, reset, and renew, and this aligns deeply with what we understand psychologically.

When we slow down intentionally:
• The nervous system begins to regulate
• Thoughts become clearer
• Emotions have space to be felt and processed

Retreat creates the conditions for integration, rather than constant reaction.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆

One of the things this book does beautifully is offer simple themes and seasonal guidance; not rigid rules, but gentle invitations.

This is important.

Because for many people, especially those who feel overwhelmed, too much structure can feel like pressure.

Instead, retreat can look like:
• Choosing a theme (rest, creativity, reflection)
• Letting that guide your day or hour
• Allowing curiosity rather than expectation

𝑹𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅

From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, retreat can be a way of turning towards our inner parts.

When we create space, we may notice:
• The part that feels exhausted
• The part that is anxious or overthinking
• The part that longs for quiet but feels guilty asking for it.

Retreat gives us the opportunity to listen inwardly, rather than constantly responding outwardly.

Over time, this builds a more compassionate relationship with ourselves.

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝑵𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒏 𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒕

Perhaps one of the most important reminders, both from this book and in therapeutic work, is this:

You don’t have to earn rest.

You don’t need to:
• Finish everything first
• Be at breaking point
• Justify your need to pause

𝑹𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅

It is a requirement for emotional wellbeing.

A Gentle Invitation

You might take a moment to reflect:
- What would “retreat” look like for me right now?
- Where could I create even a small pocket of space?
- What part of me might need attention, rather than pushing through?

Even ten minutes can be enough to begin.

⸻

Retreat isn’t about leaving your life behind.
It’s about creating space within it, so you can return to yourself, again and again.

17/03/2026

Happy St. Patrick’s Day 🍀
A gentle reminder today that luck isn’t just something we find… sometimes it’s something we create through courage, healing, and the small steps we take forward each day.

Wishing you moments of calm, connection, and a little magic today ✨
— Lisa Crafter

SelfCompassion

16/03/2026

The Wisdom Hidden in “Wrong Decisions”

Sometimes we look back on our lives and feel a deep sense of regret about a decision we made.

A relationship we stayed in too long.
A job we took that wasn’t right for us.
Something we said or didn’t say.
A path we chose that led somewhere difficult.

It’s very easy for the mind to turn these moments into evidence that we have somehow failed.

But the truth is something far more human: everyone makes decisions that, with hindsight, they would choose differently.

The quote in this image captures something important:

“Don’t blame yourself for the wrong decision. Everyone makes it. Make it a lesson for your next decision.”

What we often forget is that every decision we make is based on the information, emotional capacity, and circumstances we had at that moment.

We decide with:
• the knowledge we had then
• the fears we were carrying
• the needs we were trying to meet
• the version of ourselves that existed at that time

Expecting our past selves to have the wisdom we have today is an impossible standard.

Regret Can Become Growth

Regret is uncomfortable, but it can also be deeply instructive.

When we allow ourselves to reflect gently rather than judge harshly, we begin to see that difficult decisions often teach us:

• clearer boundaries
• deeper self-awareness
• greater emotional resilience
• a stronger sense of what truly matters to us

Many of the clients I work with carry heavy shame about past choices. They believe those choices define them.

Yet, over time, something powerful happens in therapy.

They begin to see that the decision they regret was often an attempt to survive, to belong, to feel safe, or to be loved.

Seen through this lens, the decision becomes understandable rather than shameful.

The Lesson Is the Gift

Growth rarely comes from the moments when everything goes perfectly.

It comes from the moments when we pause, reflect, and ask ourselves:

What did this experience teach me about myself?

Perhaps it taught you:
• what you deserve in relationships
• when to listen to your intuition
• how to recognise your own needs
• when to say no

When we treat our past with compassion rather than criticism, our mistakes become teachers rather than burdens.

A Gentler Way Forward

Instead of saying:

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

We might try saying:

“I made the best decision I could at the time. Now I know more.”

That shift—from blame to understanding—creates space for growth.

And growth, after all, is what life is continually inviting us into.

⸻

Lisa Crafter MBPsS, MBACP
Integrative Psychotherapist
Trauma, Neurodiversity & Eating Disorder Specialist

Westbourne, Bournemouth | Online across the UK

14/03/2026

𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝑫𝒂𝒚: 𝑯𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝑬𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑫𝒂𝒚 𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈

By Lisa Crafter MBPsS, MBACP – Integrative Psychotherapist

Mother’s Day is often portrayed as a joyful celebration filled with flowers, cards and family gatherings. For many people, it is a beautiful opportunity to honour mothers and maternal figures who have provided love, care and support throughout our lives.

Yet for others, Mother’s Day can be a complicated and emotionally layered time.

For some, it may bring feelings of grief for a mother who has passed away. For others, it may highlight difficult relationships, distance, estrangement, or the pain of not having experienced the nurturing they needed growing up.

Some people may be navigating fertility struggles, pregnancy loss, or the longing to become a parent. Others may be mothers themselves who are carrying the quiet weight of exhaustion, responsibility and the constant effort of caring for others.

All of these experiences are valid.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝑭𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅

Motherhood is often idealised in society, but the reality is far more complex and human. Mothers are individuals with their own histories, vulnerabilities, hopes and struggles.

Many mothers do their very best with the emotional resources and support they have available. Sometimes those resources were limited, and this can leave lasting emotional impacts for their children.

Part of healing can involve acknowledging both truths:
that love may have been present, and that something important may also have been missing.

𝑯𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑺𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝑴𝒊𝒙𝒆𝒅 𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

It is completely normal to experience mixed emotions around Mother’s Day.

You might feel:
• Gratitude and love
• Sadness or grief
• Anger or disappointment
• Longing or loneliness
• Relief or distance

Sometimes these feelings can coexist.

Allowing yourself to notice what arises, without judgement, can be a gentle form of self-compassion.

𝑯𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒉𝒐 𝑵𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝑼𝒔

Mothering energy is not limited only to biological mothers.

Many people experience care and guidance from:
• Grandmothers
• Aunts
• Friends
• Teachers
• Therapists
• Mentors
• Or chosen family

Mother’s Day can also be a moment to honour those who have offered support, warmth and encouragement in our lives.

𝑩𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇

If this day feels difficult for you, it may help to:
• Keep your plans simple
• Spend time with supportive people
• Take a walk in nature
• Journal or reflect
• Limit social media if comparisons feel painful
• Do something nurturing just for yourself

Self-care on days like this is not indulgent—it is an act of kindness toward yourself.

𝑨 𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕

Mother’s Day can hold joy, love, gratitude, grief, longing and reflection all at once.

Whatever your experience of this day, you are not alone.

Sometimes the most meaningful way to honour Mother’s Day is simply by recognising the complexity of our relationships, and by offering ourselves the same compassion we often give to others.

13/03/2026

09/03/2026

What people think therapy is vs what therapy actually is...

08/03/2026

𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑾𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏'𝒔 𝑫𝒂𝒚: 𝑯𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒕𝒉, 𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏

Each year, International Women’s Day offers an important opportunity to pause and reflect on the strength, courage and resilience of women across the world.

For many women, life has not been an easy journey. Behind the roles women hold - as mothers, daughters, partners, friends, professionals and caregivers – there are often stories of challenge, sacrifice and quiet endurance that are rarely seen.

In my work as a psychotherapist, I have the privilege of hearing many of these stories. I meet women who are navigating trauma, rebuilding self-worth, healing from difficult relationships, managing the pressures of modern life, or simply trying to rediscover their sense of identity after years of caring for others.

What strikes me time and again is the extraordinary resilience of women. Even after experiencing deep pain, many women continue to show compassion, empathy and a remarkable capacity to support those around them.

Yet International Women’s Day is not only about recognising resilience. It is also about acknowledging the importance of self-care, self-respect and self-compassion.

Women are often taught to prioritise the needs of others before their own. While caring for others can be deeply meaningful, it is equally important that women allow themselves the space to rest, reflect and nurture their own wellbeing.

Healing often begins when women feel able to say:
• My needs matter too.
• My voice deserves to be heard.
• I am worthy of kindness, including from myself.

Whether it is through supportive friendships, therapy, community, creativity or quiet reflection, creating spaces where women feel safe, valued and understood is profoundly important.

On this International Women’s Day, it feels important to celebrate not only the achievements of women, but also the strength that lies within vulnerability, honesty and growth.

Every woman’s journey is unique, but each story matters.

May today be a reminder that strength does not always appear loud or visible. Often it exists in the quiet determination to keep moving forward, to heal, and to live with authenticity and compassion.

⸻

Lisa Crafter
Psychotherapist MBPsS, MBACP
Trauma, Neurodiversity & Eating Disorders Specialist

28/02/2026

This is such a poignant book of how important self-care is to prevent burnout. We live in a world that glorifies productivity. Constant doing. Constant scrolling. Constant stimulation.

But what if some of our most important mental processes happen when we are doing…nothing?

In The Brain at Rest, neuroscientist Joseph Jebelli explores the science behind the brain’s “default mode network” - the system that becomes active when we’re not focused on a task. This is the network linked to:

🧠 Self-reflection
🧠 Memory consolidation
🧠 Creativity
🧠 Processing emotions
🧠 Making meaning of our lives

When we pause - daydreaming, walking without headphones, sitting quietly - our brain isn’t idle. It’s integrating experiences, connecting ideas, and quietly shaping our sense of identity.

As a therapist, I find this deeply reassuring.

So often clients worry that “doing nothing” means being unproductive, lazy, or stuck. Yet neuroscience tells us that rest is not the opposite of growth - it is part of growth.

Of course, the resting brain can also wander into rumination or anxiety. The difference isn’t whether the mind wanders, but how safe and regulated the nervous system feels while it does.

This book is a gentle reminder that:
✨ Silence has value
✨ Reflection has purpose
✨ Boredom can birth creativity
✨ Rest is not indulgent — it is biologically necessary

In therapy, some of the most powerful moments happen in pauses, in the space between words, when something deeper begins to surface.

Perhaps we don’t need to fill every quiet moment.
Perhaps we need to trust what the mind does when we let it rest.

28/02/2026

I’m currently updating my website: www.lisacrafter.com, hence the new profile photo.

I am an Integrative Psychotherapist supporting adults with a wide range of psychological difficulties. I have a particular specialism in developmental trauma and Complex-PTSD, neurodiversity (ASD, ADHD, AuDHD and Dyspraxia), and eating disorders. I am a Practitioner trained with the National Centre for Eating Disorders (UK).

Lisa Crafter MBPsS, MBACP
Integrative Psychotherapist

27/02/2026

𝑺𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔.

We often think of self-care as bubble baths, early nights or quiet weekends. But one of the most powerful forms of self-care is something much less comfortable:

𝑺𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒐.
Stepping back.
Not over-explaining.
Not over-functioning.
Not absorbing what isn’t yours.

Boundaries are not walls.
They are gentle fences — like the one in this image — protecting something precious.

Boundaries don’t mean you don’t care.
They mean you care about your wellbeing too.

For many people (especially those who learned to survive by pleasing, fixing, or staying small), boundaries can feel selfish, frightening, or even wrong.
But in truth, they are an act of self-respect.

You can be kind and boundaried.
You can be compassionate and clear.
You can love others without abandoning yourself.

Sometimes the most healing sentence we learn is:
“That doesn’t work for me.”

If this resonates, you’re not alone 🤍

nervoussystem healing selfrespect