19/11/2025
In October 2015, I took my NOCN Level 3 Qualification with Civil Ceremonies Ltd. The whole process was full-on in the extreme – from the application (which was a simple yes or no) to the distance learning and then the week-long course where we were carefully assessed during every part of the process. The week culminated in two written exams – pass or fail. Just so you know, I got 86% and 77%! Since then, I took three top up qualifications – Advanced Tribute Writing, Interviewing the Bereaved and Baby & Child Funerals – which means I am qualified as an Advanced Practitioner.
Ten years ago today, I led my very first ceremony. I can still remember standing at the front of Lawnswood sternly saying to myself “Don’t let them know this is your first funeral. LOOK CALM.” My heart rate – beating at around 130bpm – told me I felt anything but calm.
Time has flown by. Since then, I hit a bump in the road with menopause. Another bump – for everyone – was Covid which threw up so many challenges. But I have plugged away because the role I have is a very special one and I’m lucky that I have a job that I love.
Over these years, I have been privileged to lead a handful of ceremonies for my own family. Some of my clients have been existing friends (and I thank you for your trust and support). But I’ve also met countless, interesting, engaging families who entrust to me the most precious thing they have. Their memories. They hand these to me hoping – no, expecting – that I will write and deliver a ceremony that reflects the life of their loved one. When I lead a ceremony, my number one wish is for people to recognise the person I’m talking about. I don’t want to stand at the front of a chapel reading words by rote (and we’ve all been to those sorts of funerals). I want the character to shine through. So, thank you to all the families I have worked with in the last ten years who have trusted me. And, if I’ve learned anything in this last ten years, whenever a family says, “Oh, everyone was like that back then,” I can confidently say, “Not everyone was”.
