Relationship Circle

13/07/2025

How's your relationship?

Everyone reading this space has relationships.

But here’s the real question: What’s the quality of those relationships?
We all know the difference.

The wise words from Dr Gary Chapman are well registered.

'Life’s greatest joys often come from healthy, affirming relationships. And life’s deepest pain? Usually from the broken ones.

So here’s something bold but true: Your ability to give and receive love well might be the most important life skill you ever develop.

That’s where The 5 Love Languages® come in.

They aren’t just for romantic relationships. They’re universal. They apply to every relationship — with parents, friends, coaches, teammates, co-workers, and spouses.

Some teens don’t feel loved by their parents — not because they aren’t loved, but because their parents don’t speak their primary love language.
Some athletes don’t thrive on teams — not because they lack skill, but because they unintentionally send the message, “I don’t need you.”

The truth is this: Learning to personalize love and appreciation in a way the other person can actually receive is the key to building stronger, lasting, more life-giving relationships.

Can you imagine how much heartache and unnecessary drama you could save yourself if go back and help the teenage version of yourself understand these concepts?

Unfortunately, you can't go back. But you can pay it forward.

Imagine helping a teenager:
- Avoid unnecessary heartache
- Build healthier friendships
- Strengthen your relationship with them
- Gain emotional intelligence that gives them a lifelong advantage

The advise is better relationships = a better life.

Relationship Circle CIC had a successful online mentor training this week and we have a team of committed and caring mentors who wish to meet you and to help or support if we can. Please email us
contact@relationship-circle.org

04/06/2025

Self discovery

Once again, I was reading Dr Gary Chapman's message today on how we deal with our own stress. I cannot wait to share with you.

'Most people live under a fair amount of stress. This stress may come from too many responsibilities, too little money or time, poor health, or fractured relationships.

Can you relate?
Whatever the source of the stress, we are more likely to become impatient when we feel life pressing in on us. We become perfectionists. We want to do things right and timely. When we fail, we are irritated with ourselves and condemn ourselves with words:

I can't believe I did that.
How could I be so foolish?
Why didn't I take more time?
I was so stupid.

Such self-talk does not engender growth. Instead it drives us into further discouragement.

KEY If we want to love others well, we need to be patient with ourselves.
If we are impatient with ourselves, we will likely be impatient with others. We hold others to the same high standard to which we hold ourselves. Often, that standard is unrealistic for anyone.

The answer lies not necessarily in lowering the standard for ourselves but in cooperating with the process of growth. If you did a job with which you were not pleased, acknowledge the positive things you did and ask, What can I learn from this experience?

When we are patient, we acknowledge to ourselves and others that failure can be a stepping-stone toward success.

Take the next step in your journey in self-discovery for better relationships.' Take free quizzes from
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes

We had a successful mental health and wellbeing talk by Dr Henk Parmentier, GP with a special interest in mental health and a visiting Professor abroad yesterday. The feedback from the participants was very positive. How about visiting a physiotherapist or hairdresser for a bit of therapy now and again! I do and I love my hairdresser. Having a pet will help reduce loneliness and enhance health and wellbeing. I hope you will come along to our next talk in September - an introduction to counselling practice.
Please drop us a line - contact@relationship-circle.org if you need some help or support from us. We have a team of kind and caring befrienders/mentors and I am sure we are able to give you a hand. Thank you.

Discover the secrets that have helped millions of people improve their relationships and themselves.

01/06/2025

How well do you deal with anger?

My personal experience is telling me that I should know better but I cannot help being angry when things went wrong. I do like Dr Gary Chapman's advice as described below.

'Couples typically deal with anger in one of two ways. They either explode and express their anger in violent and destructive behaviour, or they hold it inside and allow it to burn and smoulder, which often seeps out passive-aggressively.

Both are harmful ways of dealing with anger.
Both bring communication to a halt.

No one wants to continue talking to a person who is uncontrollably expressing anger. On the other hand, communication is impossible when a person is not willing to talk.

Most couples simply do not resolve conflicts because anger constantly gets in the way. They are not able to carry a conversation to its conclusion because one or both either explode or withdraw. Thus, conflicts are swept under the rug and labeled off-limits to future conversation.

In time, a couple may sweep so many matters under the rug that they have nothing left to talk about. There are no safe subjects, so communication ceases and the marriage dies a slow death.

There is an answer.

Anger indicates that something in the relationship needs attention. It is like an alarm that calls attention to a fire. Once the fireman arrives, you can turn off the alarm and focus on putting out the fire. Similarly, when anger calls us to attention, we must turn off its alarm and focus on the problem that triggered it in the first place.

"Sounds logical," you say, "but how can I turn off the alarm?"
Admit you are angry. Own the fact that you are experiencing an emotion, and that's okay.

Restrain your response. Don't blow up, stuff it, become passive-aggressive, letting your anger lead you to say or do something you'll later regret.
Share your problem. You can't solve a person, but you can solve a problem. Name it.

Look for a solution. Now that the problem is named, commit to hearing each other out and working together to find an agreeable solution.

In a healthy relationship, these steps—although uncomfortable in the moment—will help you resolve conflicts, and ultimately, strengthen your relationship.

If you repeatedly find anger driving your behaviour, you may be dealing with some deeper issues. In that case, I'd encourage you to seek out wise counsel from a trusted counsellor or marriage mentor.'

So, if you feel Relationship Circle CIC can be of help to you, please do drop us an email
contact@relationship-circle.org
By the way, if you would like to join us for the mental health and wellbeing virtual session on Tuesday 3 June 2025 6.30pm - 7.45pm, please email for a joining link. Look forward to seeing you there.

16/05/2025

Invitation to the mental health and wellbeing virtual talk on Tuesday 3/6 6.30pm - 7.45pm

Please come and join us on the 'Raising awareness of mental health and wellbeing' talk by Dr Henk Parmentier, GP , Mental Health expert and Visiting Professor on Tuesday 3 June via Teams 6.30pm - 7.45pm.

Mental health and wellbeing are important to us and we always want to lead a happy life and enjoy what we love and what we want to do in our lives. Hence, it is important that we should do more about our mental wellbeing regardless our personal journey in life.

Purpose of the talk are:
· To provide a platform to bring people together to learn how they can manage their mental wellbeing with support from others.
· To raise the awareness of individual’s understanding on mental health and their wellbeing.
· To spot the common types of mental health issues/problems
· To give practical advice on how to look after ourselves when supporting others
· To build confidence in ourselves to tackle life situations at any one time

Please join us on Tuesday 3 June via Teams 6.30pm - 7.45pm and just follow the QR code on the poster and you will get to the registration of the event. Look forward to seeing you. Relationship Circle CIC team

04/05/2025

Are you emotionally intelligent?

Hopefully, I am but...........

Something I love to read the following message from Dr Gary Chapman.

'An emotionally intelligent person is marked by the ability to see from another's perspective. It's the opposite of a "me-centered" viewpoint, which gives no thought or consideration to the needs, wants, and desires of others.
Without emotional intelligence, relationships suffer and frustration abounds.
Perhaps you struggle in this area. You are not alone. It's not something that comes naturally to most of us, but rather a skill we learn over a lifetime—one that contributes greatly to the health, satisfaction, and joy in our relationships.
Growing in emotional intelligence takes practice. If you would like to grow in your ability to accurately understand others and how they view life, here are a few ways to get started:

- Listen to others. Use active listening to check for accurate understanding of what they are sharing.
- Observe when people get upset or frustrated. Seek to understand what is disturbing them and how they are viewing the situation.
- Spend time with others. Go to recreational events and meet their family and friends.
- Get to know more about others—where they grew up, important events in their lives, and what they describe as important to them.
- Take the time and energy to learn more about those with whom you work, serve, and live, and you will understand them better—how they think, why they react to the situations they do, and even why they choose certain words and phrases in communication.

When you begin to understand others more fully by growing in emotional intelligence, the miscommunications and misunderstandings between you will diminish significantly.'

These are very sensible guidance from Dr Chapman. Hope you will find this helpful. If Relationship Circle CIC can be of help to you, please email
contact@relationship-circle.org

19/04/2025

Difficult conversations

We cannot avoid difficult conversations between family members or with work colleagues. How would we make things better before the situation gets out of hand?

Here are some tips from Dr Gary Chapman.
'When tension surfaces in your relationship, do you look the other way, hoping it’ll just disappear? You're not alone. Navigating conflict can be a challenge for many, but connection fades where silence grows.
Authentic relationships are built through honest conversations—even the uncomfortable ones. Ignoring the irritations only allows them to grow. But when two people come together, share openly, and seek solutions that honor their differences, that's when transformation happens.
So the next time your partner raises a difficult topic, don’t shut it down or change the subject. Instead, simply ask:

“I'm all for sharing ideas and finding a way forward together. I honestly just don’t have the energy for going in circles or arguing right now. But if we can respect each other’s perspectives, I really think we can figure this out.”

This approach doesn’t just prevent arguments—it opens the door to deeper connection, mutual respect, and sustainable love.
Because real relationships aren't about avoiding conflict—they're about learning how to grow through it.'

Yes, we need to grow our relationship no matter how far we are with our relationship (beginning/middle/end). Trust and honesty will hold us together.

Relationship Circle CIC had a team of mentors trained up in early April and everyone is looking forward to meeting new members who are interested in connecting with us for a quick chat over things that matter to them and needing someone to act as a sounding board. We are here for you! Please email us
contact@relationship-circle.org
Happy Easter!

29/03/2025

Don't hold back on this!

We need the encouragement from others and please do not hold back.
I certainly resonate with what Dr Gary Chapman says about this.

He says, 'Life is full of opportunities, but they often come with fears—fear of rejection, failure, or embarrassment. Compound the voices of discouraging people who add another layer of uncertainty, and we’ll often find ourselves holding back—not because we lack ability, but because we lack the courage.
This is when a simple word of encouragement from someone who cares can make all the difference—maybe even be enough to push us forward, even when doubt and uncertainty linger.

True encouragement isn’t about pushing one's own agenda—it’s about understanding someone’s dreams and offering support. It’s saying, “I see you. I believe in you.” These words can spark the courage you or your loved ones need to take risks and grow.

So today, why not take a moment to encourage someone—whether it’s a spouse, family member, friend, or colleague? Let them know you believe in their potential. Your words might be the push they need to press forward—especially during moments of doubt.

To dive deeper into the power of encouragement, explore The 5 Love Languages®. Understanding how others receive love and support can help you encourage them more effectively.
Your encouragement holds the power to change someone’s life.'

Have a go! We wish to see our family, our friends and our colleagues happy....
If you wish to reach out to Relationship Circle CIC, please feel free to email us.
contact@relationship-circle.org

21/03/2025

Fix this before it's too late.

Just read Dr Gary Chapman's message about how to show our love to our kids.
He says,' Most parents love their kids. But here’s the problem—many kids don’t feel loved.
And when a child doesn’t feel loved, it shows. They struggle at school. Act out at home. Shut down emotionally.
That’s because inside every child is an emotional love tank—and when it’s empty, they wrestle with frustration, insecurity, and loneliness.
Here’s the kicker: love only lands when it’s spoken in a language they understand.
A woman once shared that she never felt loved by her mother. But after her mother passed, she learned about The 5 Love Languages®.
Looking back, she realized her mother was always serving—washing dishes, cooking meals, folding laundry. Her mom’s love language was Acts of Service.
But the daughter’s love language? Words of Affirmation.
Her mother was loving her all along—just not in the way she needed most. Realizing this changed everything and brought her the peace and healing she never thought possible.
Don’t wait until later to get this right.
Learn your child’s love language now—so they don’t just know they’re loved . . . they feel it.

Take a look at The 5 Love Languages of Children (or The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers) and unlock the secret to a deeper connection with your child.
Because when children feel truly loved, everything changes.'
This is a piece of take home message for us to consider.

Should you need any advice or help with family life issues, please email
contact@relationship-circle.org

15/02/2025

How to rekindle your connection with family?

Hope you have a wonderful Love week.
I fully support what I have read from Dr Gary Chapman's latest message.

'Have you ever noticed how relationships can sometimes begin to feel distant over time? At first, everything seems perfect. You're connected and excited. But then, as time wears on, things can begin to feel a bit off.
Don't worry, this doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed and certainly isn’t the tell-tale sign you should move on. It might simply be an indicator to focus on strengthening your emotional intimacy.

Emotional intimacy is the deep connection you feel with someone when you feel loved, respected, and appreciated, while also reciprocating those feelings.

Love: Knowing the other person genuinely cares about your well-being.
Respect: Feeling that they hold a positive view of your personhood, intellect, and personality.
Appreciation: Feeling valued for your contributions to the relationship.
Whether you’re single or married, understanding and building emotional intimacy can transform your relationships—creating a positive, life-giving atmosphere that draws you closer to the people you care about.

Take the first step today—strengthen the emotional foundation of your relationships. You’ll be amazed at the difference it can make!

LEARN MORE: You can explore the concept of emotional intimacy in greater depth, along with other forms of connection that can lead to strong and healthy relationships in The 5 Love Languages®: Singles Edition. Whether you want to be closer to your parents, reach out more to your friends, or give dating another try, The 5 Love Languages®: Singles Edition will give you the confidence you need to connect with others in a meaningful way. Have a try!

Best of luck. Relationship Circle CIC is here to help support you if you have any life situation you wish to share. We are here to listen and to be here with you. Please email
contact@relationship-circle.org

08/02/2025

February - Love month
When life gets busy, we often forget the small things that make a big difference. Do you show enough appreciation for your partner or tell them why you love them? This February—the month of love!—we invite you to participate in Daily Love Notes for 14, 28, or as many days as you'd like.
Dr John Gottman, an American psychologist, introduces the Daily Love Notes for you.
You can download a free PDF, print it or save it digitally, and leave these notes for your partner, kids, friends, or even yourself—on doors, lunch bags, mirrors, or anywhere you can think!
It looks like this. Let's know how this works for you.
If you wish a hand to get a copy of the free PDF or digitally, please email
contact@relationship-circle.org
Happy Valentine's Day on 14 February 2025

18/01/2025

Staying cool and being thoughtful....

I cannot agree more with the following guidance from Dr Gary Chapman.

'Have you ever had a moment where someone's behaviour rubbed you the wrong way, leaving you frustrated or upset? You're not alone. This isn’t typically because they’ve done something wrong or are an ill-willed person—most people aren't out to irritate you (well, except maybe that one sibling). Often, it's just that their actions simply don’t align with what you’re used to or are comfortable with.
In close relationships—whether with family, friends, or work colleagues —raising concerns about even the smallest of irritations can sometimes lead to defensiveness. A thoughtful and respectful approach can make all the difference. Rather than resorting to demands or manipulation, expressing your needs with kindness and care can foster understanding and encourages collaboration.
Shall we try something like this:
Interruptions: "I love our talks, but could we try taking turns when we speak? It helps me share my thoughts fully."
Not on time: "It’s tough to start meetings on time. Could you join a few minutes earlier to help us stay on track?"
Clutter: "Could we work on keeping the living room tidier? It would mean a lot if you could put things away after using them."
Clear, respectful requests can turn irritations into growth opportunities and result in stronger, healthier relationships. Give it a try!

Relationship Circle CIC is offering online mentoring training in Tower Hamlets, North East London in April. More details will be released soon. We want to recruit volunteer mentors in TH to support families in need of our support and help, aiming to bring them back on track with their daily lives.
Please help if you can via email
contact@relationship-circle.org

01/01/2025

No regrets from parents - what can we do?

Happy New Year!

Having elderly parents and being a parent, it makes me think how perfect we are as parents? Do we do what is best for our children?

I agree with Dr Gary Chapman's comments - 'Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, and few of us have had any training in it. Yet, even if you had the best training in the world, there are still situations that no one can foresee. Every family is different and every child unique.

When we admit that we have made mistakes, and when we understand just how and when we misjudged, we can begin to do something about it.
Most parents have done something right, so don't let regrets eat away at you. Try making a list of all the ways you have been a good parent. You should enumerate them, from small acts to the most sacrificial, to help you see the whole picture. You want to focus on the complete relationship with your child, not only what has gone wrong. Emphasize the positive aspects of your bond with your child and what you have done well.

In Dr Chapman's book, 'Your New Life with Your Adult Children', he unpacks what helps, what hurts, and what heals relationships with your grown children. It is worth reading it during the festive period. The book covers what to do when your child isn't flourishing, they move back home, the relationship is strained or in need of mending, and more.'

Should you feel like to have a chat with us at Relationship Circle CIC, please do. With support from Tower Hamlets Council VCSE small grant scheme, we are able to launch some online mentoring training in 2025 to support families who are struggling with life situations. Please do email us
contact@relationship-circle.org

Look forward to working with you in 2025. Best wishes.