Nova Nolan Counselling

12/05/2025

I work with clients to unpick the limiting and restrictive narratives that stem from family histories and stories. These stories can hold us back from fulfilling, contended lives and often span-generations. Not just communicated by our parents/caregivers, but passed down from 2, 3 or more generations back.
If you'd like to explore, please feel free to give me a call to book an initial consultation.

03/03/2025

Self-Compassion…when I invite clients to consider ways in which they might be kinder to themselves, I so often meet either a protective or dismissive response. Our inner-critic is such a loud and habitual voice, is there room for another option? We are so familiar with an emphasis on will-power and self-discipline as the only way to make change, to be ‘better’. As Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems) says, we employ our “inner drill sergeant…that nasty inner-critic we love to hate”.

When Alice (In Wonderland) becomes frustrated in her search for the key to the garden, she tires herself out and bursts into tears, then speaks to herself “rather sharply…sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes”. Sharp indeed, she cries so much that she creates a pool of tears, which she herself falls into.

Trying out a new response can feel so alien, silly even. Finding a kinder voice can be a real challenge…but it is possible and the benefits are many. If you are interested to explore around finding an inner-champion, rather than an inner-critic, please do get in touch.

24/02/2025

With change, comes loss. Even when we drive the change and it is welcome, we still have to navigate what is no more. When change is not wanted, forced upon us even, the process of acceptance may be harder still. Change, whether that is a bereavement, a marital break-up, meeting menopause, a new job...may bring questions, self-doubt, excitement and disorientation. Therapy can provide a space to reorientate, in your own time, no pressure, no judgement.

I drew the picture below at a time of great change in my life. I imagined myself in a safe cocoon, taking my time, staying quiet, breathing. This image brought me a good deal of comfort, permission to just be where I was. What might you need to support a change in your life?

17/02/2025

"Lose your mind and come to your senses" Fritz Perls.

We often mistake thoughts for feelings...so many times a client will tell me (when asked the inevitable question, "how do you feel?"), "I THINK I feel worried". The idea of the feeling is perhaps a little safer than the experience of the feeling. In therapy, gently and with care, we move toward a place when a thought, and the sensations of the feeling are tolerable. Thoughts, words and language are the starting point, not the destination.

11/02/2025

With Valentines Day approaching, I'm thinking about 'love'...what does it mean to you?
"Love is a positive act, not a passive affect; it is giving, not receiving-a “standing in” not a “falling for.” Irvin D Yalom

03/02/2025

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you" - Maya Angelou.

So often, the first therapy session with a new client is an outpouring. The tumble of words, thoughts, tears and expression is like a tide, told with force and intention. The need to express and share is both human and necessary. Gabor Mate (physician and trauma expert) acknowledges that "children don't get traumatized because they're hurt...they get traumatized because they are alone with the hurt". The provision of a space in which to share your wounds, whether old or new, is a valuable one. An unburdening can be the beginning of shift and transformation...let's talk

27/01/2025

How do you feel about Monday morning? Did you have feelings of dread last night as you contemplated the working week ahead?

"With one in six workers experiencing a mental health problem at any one time, and stress thought to be responsible for almost half of working days lost in Britain due to health issues, understanding the relationship between mental health and the workplace is vitally important." BACP.

The problems we face at work, whether that's a stressful workload, inter-personal relationships with colleagues or 'imposter syndrome', all have a significant impact on our quality of life. It can help to explore our pattens of relating, to better understand why we respond the way we do to challenge, to working in a team or responses to authority figures. With clarity comes choice...how do you want to show up?

20/01/2025

I'm thinking about roles...the roles we take on, those that are given to us or forced upon us...what roles do you play and how do you respond to the expectations, joys and restrictions that they bring?

"The Ultimate Scapegoat for Our Personal and Political Failings" C'mon C'mon (2021)Director: Mike MillsBook: 'Mothers: An Essay on Love and Cruelty' by Jacqu...

25/03/2024

A theme that often shows up in my work with clients is 'I'm never good enough'. This is so often a core message, tightly held, taught from a very young age. To be 'good enough', we have perhaps learnt that we need to look a certain way, achieve particular goals in work or education or perhaps keep certain emotions or responses to the world buried. Feeling not good enough can keep us from creative living, keep us feeling small and not heard. But alongside this limiting message, there is a part we all have, that is most definitely good enough. Sometimes we need help to connect with feeling good enough and therapy is one way to support that process. A safe, creative and courageous space can give a neglected part room to breathe, to practice speaking up and take up space.
If you would like to explore, I have space for new clients at the moment, please do get in touch.