Valentina Enis Counselling

08/01/2026

Confession from a therapist who loves the sea:
this winter I have barely been swimming, and I really miss it.

I know how much it helps my nervous system.
I know even a two minute dip can shift my mood and my anxiety.
And still, starting again has felt harder than I expected.

Self doubt, comparison and that quiet feeling of being behind in life can make even the things that support us start to feel intimidating.

So I have written a new blog about what the sea has taught me about healing, anxiety, depression and beginning again, from both a personal and therapeutic point of view. It also includes quite a lot of swearing at the ocean and at least one howl, so it is very honest.

If you have ever struggled to get back to something you know helps, this one is for you.

You can read it here:
👉 https://valentinaeniscounselling.com/2026/01/08/what-the-sea-has-taught-me-about-healing/

And if you see me on the beach muttering to myself before getting in, please know I am doing very serious therapeutic work 😄🌊

Pic credit: Julia Claxton

06/01/2026

🧠 Neuroplasticity isn’t just about learning more, it’s about healing differently.

We often talk about neuroplasticity as the brain’s ability to learn new skills.
But from a therapeutic perspective, the most profound brain changes happen through emotional experience, not intellect.

New neural pathways don’t form simply because we understand something.
They form when the nervous system experiences something new and safe, repeatedly.

✨ When an unmet need is finally recognised instead of dismissed
✨ When an anxious part is met with curiosity rather than urgency
✨ When a depressive state is held with compassion instead of pressure
✨ When an attachment pattern is seen, named, and responded to differently

…the brain begins to rewire.

In therapy, creating new neural pathways looks like:
• slowing down enough to feel what was once overwhelming
• staying present with emotions rather than bypassing them
• experiencing attunement, boundaries, and repair in relationship
• repeating these experiences gently, over time
• allowing rest and integration, not constant “work”

This is how old survival pathways soften not through force, but through new lived experience.

Healing-based neuroplasticity isn’t about becoming better or stronger.
It’s about becoming safer, more regulated, and more connected inside and out.

🌱 The brain changes when the body learns it no longer has to survive.

Valentina

05/01/2026

January often asks us to prove, perform, and succeed.
But our nervous systems are still in winter.

If New Year resolutions bring anxiety, low mood, or a sense of being behind, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your body knows it’s a season for rest, not reinvention.

I’ve written a blog about why January can be so hard on mental health and how to soothe your nervous system with more kindness and less pressure.

👉 Read the full blog here: https://valentinaeniscounselling.com/2026/01/05/when-the-new-year-starts-but-your-nervous-system-doesnt/

18/12/2025

Christmas Feelings: When Tinsel Meets Tender Bits

As a counsellor, I notice something every year around Christmas.

Alongside the fairy lights, mince pies, and carefully curated Instagram cheer, people’s feelings get louder.

Sometimes much louder.

Christmas has a funny way of pressing emotional buttons we didn’t even know were wired. Old family dynamics resurface. Loneliness feels sharper. Expectations (our own and other people’s) pile up like plates after Christmas dinner. And for many, there’s a quiet sense of “Why don’t I feel how I’m supposed to feel?”

Spoiler alert: there is no “supposed to”.

For some people, Christmas is genuinely joyful. For others, it’s complicated. For many, it’s both — sometimes within the same hour. You can love the lights and dread the phone call. Enjoy the food and feel the ache of who’s missing. Laugh at the table and cry in the bathroom five minutes later. All of that is very human.

What I often hear in the therapy room around this time of year sounds a bit like:

“I should be grateful, but…”

“Everyone else seems fine — what’s wrong with me?”

“I’m exhausted before it’s even started.”

“I thought I’d be past this by now.”



Christmas has a way of shining a spotlight on relationships — the ones we have, the ones we’ve lost, and the ones we wish were different. It can stir childhood memories (both warm and wobbly), highlight boundaries we don’t yet have, and amplify that inner critic who loves to show up uninvited like a distant relative with opinions.

And here’s the bit I really want to say clearly:

Struggling at Christmas doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re paying attention.

This is where therapy can be surprisingly helpful — not as a way to “fix” Christmas or force cheerfulness, but as a place where you don’t have to perform. Therapy offers space to say the things that don’t fit neatly into festive conversations. Space to untangle why this time of year hits you the way it does. Space to breathe, reflect, and maybe respond to yourself with a little more kindness.

Sometimes therapy around Christmas is about:

learning how to tolerate difficult family gatherings (or deciding you won’t)

making sense of grief that feels louder in December

understanding patterns that repeat every year like an unwanted Christmas single

giving yourself permission to do things differently

or simply having somewhere that isn’t asking you to be cheerful, productive, or “fine”



There’s no requirement to arrive with a dramatic crisis. You don’t need a capital-T Trauma or a perfectly articulated problem. You can come with a vague sense of “something feels off”, or “I’m tired of carrying this alone”. That’s more than enough.

If Christmas feels tender, heavy, confusing, or just a bit much this year — you’re not failing at it. You’re human. And you don’t have to navigate it on your own.

If you’re curious about therapy, or wondering whether it might be supportive for you right now, you’re very welcome to reach out. Consider this a gentle invitation rather than a pressure-filled New Year’s resolution. No fixing required. Just connection, curiosity, and a space where all of you is allowed.

And if nothing else, please know this:

however you’re feeling this Christmas — it makes sense. 🎄

18/12/2025

✨ What happens in a counselling assessment session? ✨

An assessment session is a first meeting where we get to know each other and explore what’s brought you to counselling. It’s not about “fixing” everything in one go — it’s about understanding what you need and whether counselling feels like the right support for you.

In an assessment, you might be invited to talk about:
• What’s been going on for you and why you’re seeking counselling now
• Your current wellbeing and how you’re coping
• A little about your background and any previous support you’ve had
• What you’re hoping to get from counselling (it’s okay if you’re not sure yet)

We’ll also go through practical details such as confidentiality, session structure, and how counselling might work going forward.

An assessment is a gentle, collaborative conversation — you don’t need to share everything, and there’s no pressure to commit. It’s just as much about you seeing if the counsellor feels like the right fit for you.

If you’re feeling nervous, unsure, or worried about “saying the wrong thing” — that’s very common, and you’re welcome exactly as you are. 💛

24/11/2025

09/09/2025

My friend Lizzane has shared so bravely about losing her husband to su***de. I’m in awe of her honesty and strength. As September is Su***de Awareness Month, I wanted to share her voice and story here 💜
Her courage brings light to such a hard subject.

***deAwarenessMonth ”

https://open.spotify.com/episode/08EP60QP0aIHfy2PAGAr2S?si=mCbFWFhhQqS2aBqakfYtmw

Podcast · lizzyanne70 · Welcome to A Messy Midlife: Unfiltered. I’m Lizanne, 55, twice widowed, no kids, two rescue dogs, redundant, menopausal, sometimes heartbroken, sometimes hilarious, and often in jogging trousers. In this very first episode, I introduce myself and share why I’m starting ...

04/09/2025

Thinking About Counselling but Feeling Unsure?

If you’re here, it probably means you’ve been thinking about counselling – even if only quietly to yourself. Maybe you’re curious, maybe you’re struggling, or maybe you’re simply wondering what it would be like to talk to someone outside of your usual circle.

Sometimes people arrive at counselling because a friend, a family member, a colleague, or even a GP has suggested it. That can feel complicated. You might find yourself wondering if you’re doing this to please them, or feeling pressured to attend because it matters to someone else. If that’s the case, I want to reassure you: counselling is first and foremost for you. What you want and need is at the centre of our work together.

It’s also completely okay to decide not to continue after your first session — even if someone else encouraged you to come. The assessment session is about you having the chance to experience what counselling feels like and to decide, for yourself, whether it’s the right time, the right space, and the right fit.

At the same time, you might feel hesitant, nervous, or not sure if this is really for you. That’s completely normal. Counselling isn’t about being judged or told what to do. It’s about having a safe space – just for you – where you can bring your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, however big or small they feel. We go at your pace, not mine. Sometimes words come easily, sometimes they don’t, and both are okay.

You are always in control of the process. You get to decide if I’m the right person for you, how much you want to share, and whether counselling feels like something you’d like to continue.

The first session – often called an assessment – is more than just a “try-out.” It’s a space for us to talk in more depth about what brings you to counselling, what you feel you need right now, and what you’d like to work toward. Together we can begin to shape some goals and think about the steps forward. Just as importantly, it’s a chance to get a feel for whether we’re a good fit to work together.

It’s very common to feel anxious about making that first contact. Some people write a message and don’t send it, or reach out and then feel too overwhelmed to reply. If that’s you, please know you’re not alone. It just means this step matters to you.

Counselling is what I like to call a “safe risk.” It can feel scary at first, but it’s also a way of giving yourself the care, space, and support you deserve.

So if you’ve been thinking about it, I warmly invite you to take that step and book an assessment session. From there, you get to decide if it feels right for you and if we can walk this path together. 🌿

27/08/2025

🌱 Trauma leaves more than memories — it shapes how we see ourselves, others, and the world. You may find yourself feeling stuck, triggered, or weighed down by things from the past that won’t stay there.

Healing is possible. In counselling, we go at your pace, creating a space where you are safe, believed, and not alone with what you carry.

If part of you longs for change — to feel lighter, stronger, or more at peace — therapy can be the beginning of that journey.

💬 I offer confidential private sessions. Reach out if you’d like to take the first step together.

27/08/2025

A safe space to be heard, to heal, and to grow.

27/08/2025

🌿 Some days, even simple things can feel like too much. Racing thoughts, a restless body, that constant “on edge” feeling — anxiety can quietly take over daily life.

You don’t have to go through it alone. Counselling offers a space to pause, to untangle what’s happening inside, and to find steadier ground.

I offer private therapy sessions (online or in-person) where you can talk openly and feel heard without judgement.

💬 If you’re tired of holding it all in and want support, contact @ to find out more about starting sessions.