Pain & Stress Management: Alexander Technique with Tara Bentall

18/10/2024

Where did you get that blank expression?

“Where ..did you get that ..blank expression on your face? “
The familiar Specials song lyric captures the socially offending blank face really well. The dour, disapproving look, a boring, uninspired, sour and hostile blank expression.
So we all try not to do this.
We continuously organise our faces into a friendly expression, sometimes despite our internal motives, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it all comes undone and we collapse into sadness or anger and the expressions that go with these, at the extremes screwing our faces into crying anguish or raging fury. At other times we fall into a depressed mood characterised by a listless and blank expression.
But how often do we give our faces permission to rest into a genuinely relaxed neutral fully ‘blank’ expression?

When we do we experience the feeling that comes with it. A neutral resting state. Can we get used to the people around us being relaxed and demonstrating a neutral expression? Is it disconcerting when the person you arewith is not giving you lots of reassurance through their facial expressions when you are with them?
When I started playing with my relaxed face I was complained at for not being my usual ‘bubbly’ lively self. But what does fawning look like? This si another survival stratef=gy used by the fight /flight/freeze part of the brain. Fawning is the submissive dog rolling over in its back wagging it’s tail,, tummy exposed with a smiling ‘ don’t hurt me I’m only little and sweet’ look on it’s face. The face of the kids in the room who don’t want to be introucble with the slightly scary teacher so they put their hands up, with big smiles, to answer the questions and show they arenot the ones who should be told off. The colleague who smiles and shows friendliness to the guy who is a bit creepy and unpredictable.
Fawning is natural part of being human and a useful social tool but can also become a habit and a way of being that is unconsciously keeping you from feeling self assured and relaxed.
Practising a blank expression gives you access to a side of yourself that is not stuck in any one emotion. It gives you a clean slate so you can choose your direction more easily.
It’s quite tricky to do and almost impossible to do fully without taking the time to unwind and work it out. You might think your expression is blank. You can try it now if you like. Organise your face into a neutral resting state. Pause and feel how it is. Then try asking to let go more – keep your asking kind and gentle or you will add more tension by demanding and judging your own progress so stay gentle in your requests and see it as a little game where the outcome is just a curiosity with no right answer … ask your jaw to ungrip tension. Take time between each of these instructions for it to sink in and to give yourself a chance to let go – at least 5 -10 seconds…. then let your jaw release some more by allowing a bit of space between your back teeth… let the muscles around your eyes release in a widening circle around each one. Don’t let your eyes shut – you need them to keep reading this! also we are looking for a neutral state while still staying awake and gently alert …. Let your tongue widen, thicken and lengthen in your mouth – it’s a big muscle and will shorten and shrink like any other when tense…..…… let your top lip relax down from your nose ….. let your lips unpurse and thicken it might feel like a very gentle smile(no lip filler needed here!) …. Relax your laughter or smiling cheek muscles to let your cheeks and jowls become loose and broad, ……..widen across the bridge of your nose so you can breath more freely through your open nostrils….enjoy watching the breath come and go at it’s own pace through the tubes starting at your nose and running all the way into your chest and beyond into the whole of your blood stream…….

The list of areas we habitually tighten goes on and of course our system works as a whole unit and not in individual parts so really we’re thinking out the whole of ourselves mind and body working at ease and being able to reset to neutral but it can be fun to look at a bit at a time too so these are some ideas to play with for now. I hope you enjoyed them.
Do you feel more peaceful and at ease with a blanker face? Let me know in the comments if you gave this a go.

30/09/2024

Learn to 'STOP' for yourself, your friends, family and colleagues and for your planet.

Learn to come to quiet, to feel contended doing nothing. To feel peaceful standing still. When you can do this you need less. Less success, less material goods, less external validation of your ok-ness. Your hairstyle, clothes, career success, friends approval. The success of your children not measured in their external achievements.

Can you feel comfortable just being? Not because of what you have achieved? Or have done or gained. But just because you are what you are. As you always have been and always will be until you die. How can you be comfortable in your own skin for no reason.
If everyone felt comfortable just existing the competition for success would be over. No need to gently compete on how our households look – no new kitchens, sofas, better garden furniture, extra items to bring beautyinto your life. No little purchases to lift our spirits. No need for buying an ornament to give yourself a little joy because you already feel it inside. No need to wait for a flight to somewhere else to feel better. You easily feel better now by being more comfortable inside yourself. If we all felt better the gaping more of purchasing and having to earn more money would be over. We would need basic shelter, to eat well and enough money to pay for the basics. But we wouldn’t need the extras.

How would your friends, family and colleagues feel if you were calmer, more relaxed and found things easier? If you were happy to wait, to stop and listen, to respond with quietness and relaxation when they were stressed?
We all know how easy it is to pick up someone’s vibe. If your friend is relaxed and happy it’s easier to feel that way too. If someone walks in stressed out and tense we tense up too. What if you were that friend who created a calm vibe? If your nervous system was setting an example of rest and digest rather than fight or flight?

What if everyone was doing this? What would the world look like? No more exploitation of resources and people. No more churning out of unnecessary energy in unhelpful directions. No more violence. No more war. No more crime. It seems unbelievable but I think it’s the only way we can fix this mess. Stop, to all learn to stop and be still and to become comfortable with that so that we don’t need more. We won’t want more. We won’t even feel that more is a good option. The option we will aim for is less because in less is where comfort lies. Less effort, less tension, less trying, less seeking, less holding on to unhelpful habits and crutches, less yearning for external goals, less competing at others expense – there can only be one winner and that winner never wins because they aresurrounded by unhappy losers so what kind of life have they won?

When you can find quietness in yourself it’s the funnest, most pleasurable, most addictive, most honest, most safe, most enjoyable place to be. It makes sharing easy when you can meet others there too. It makes connection easy because it’s simply relaxing together. This si different from watching TV together or having a drink together where there’s an external stimulus that changes your focus and takes over - you’re not a bit pi**ed or distracted by the show. This kind of connection is quiet orplayful, a natural silence, a gentle chat, a funny dance. A nonjudging observation of your surroundings together. Think of horses standing under a tree doing nothing but aware of their surroundings. A safe companionship in quietness. No striving or competing. Togetherness through everyone choosing to be together and that’s all. Safety in numbers. In our tribe hanging out.
Relaxed or even playful. The horses get the wind up their tails and begin running round the field together – each at their own pace, in their own way – no competition but playing joyfully. A flock of stalings murmuring in formations above a sunset lit field. A shoal of fish swarming in unison, a bunch of gibbons howling, a tribe of humans vocalising. Not to compete, not to perform, not for any reason except it’s fun. That can only happen when you stop and take time to come to quiet. To allow space for play for silence for connection. It’s our human nature, our natural instincts when we haven’t been adapted by an economically driven world into a malformed caricature of what it is to be human.
We need to get out of this trap we’ve fallen into and the only way is to learn to enjoy stopping. To learn how to feel the pleasure of it rather than the fear of it. We have been taught to believe that we are wrong for ot making an effort, getting on with things, doing our best, going for our goals, making something of our lives and a myriad of other phrases that easily leap into your mind to drive you forward and make you believe you are not enough as you are. We can become conscious of these imposed internal voices and quiet them. Know them for what they are and choose to think differently. To allow ourselves to learn another way. To unlearn the unhelpful habits of a damaging society. To learn to stop, come to quiet and find peace.

07/05/2024

FREE ALEXANDER TECHNIQUE COURSE 1-2-1
Hi all, I am currently offering a free 1-2-1 Alexander Technique course. The reason it is free is I would like to film the lessons and use extracts of them to use for my marketing. The bits that will be picked out will be useful bitesize bits of info that might show people how useful it is and also any 'aha' and 'ooh' moments that the person has that shows how great the technique is. There will also be an element of before and after as people's lives get easier / happier / more pain free and I'd love to show this too. I am looking for someone who is really keen and wants to do it, has 10 mins or so a day to practise and is local so the lessons can be in person. (Brighton)
What it can help: anxiety, stress, pain, performance in sport / music / public speaking / any activity that requires good coordination, clear thinking and a calm nervous system.
Please share with anyone who you think it might help or who would be interested. Lessons are usually £50 an hour so it's a great deal. Lessons are weekly and I'd like to do at least 10 but the offer is not time limited at all.
Any questions please get in touch with no obligation. Check out the website if you want to know more about what I do too: www.TaraBentall.com
Wishing you all the best,
Tara

03/11/2022

Suffering with back pain and want to find a way to deal with it effectively?

Back pain freedom workshop.

Friday 2nd December in Portslade.

Pm for more info or to book.

Learn what you can do to effectively help yourself.

01/10/2022

18/09/2022

So fun, I'm going to give this a go. 😊👍

17/09/2022

"Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on." - Eckhart Tolle

03/09/2022

Calm Is a super power 🐉
https://wingchunkungfu.eu/?s=Bruce%20Lee