18/10/2024
Where did you get that blank expression?
“Where ..did you get that ..blank expression on your face? “
The familiar Specials song lyric captures the socially offending blank face really well. The dour, disapproving look, a boring, uninspired, sour and hostile blank expression.
So we all try not to do this.
We continuously organise our faces into a friendly expression, sometimes despite our internal motives, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it all comes undone and we collapse into sadness or anger and the expressions that go with these, at the extremes screwing our faces into crying anguish or raging fury. At other times we fall into a depressed mood characterised by a listless and blank expression.
But how often do we give our faces permission to rest into a genuinely relaxed neutral fully ‘blank’ expression?
When we do we experience the feeling that comes with it. A neutral resting state. Can we get used to the people around us being relaxed and demonstrating a neutral expression? Is it disconcerting when the person you arewith is not giving you lots of reassurance through their facial expressions when you are with them?
When I started playing with my relaxed face I was complained at for not being my usual ‘bubbly’ lively self. But what does fawning look like? This si another survival stratef=gy used by the fight /flight/freeze part of the brain. Fawning is the submissive dog rolling over in its back wagging it’s tail,, tummy exposed with a smiling ‘ don’t hurt me I’m only little and sweet’ look on it’s face. The face of the kids in the room who don’t want to be introucble with the slightly scary teacher so they put their hands up, with big smiles, to answer the questions and show they arenot the ones who should be told off. The colleague who smiles and shows friendliness to the guy who is a bit creepy and unpredictable.
Fawning is natural part of being human and a useful social tool but can also become a habit and a way of being that is unconsciously keeping you from feeling self assured and relaxed.
Practising a blank expression gives you access to a side of yourself that is not stuck in any one emotion. It gives you a clean slate so you can choose your direction more easily.
It’s quite tricky to do and almost impossible to do fully without taking the time to unwind and work it out. You might think your expression is blank. You can try it now if you like. Organise your face into a neutral resting state. Pause and feel how it is. Then try asking to let go more – keep your asking kind and gentle or you will add more tension by demanding and judging your own progress so stay gentle in your requests and see it as a little game where the outcome is just a curiosity with no right answer … ask your jaw to ungrip tension. Take time between each of these instructions for it to sink in and to give yourself a chance to let go – at least 5 -10 seconds…. then let your jaw release some more by allowing a bit of space between your back teeth… let the muscles around your eyes release in a widening circle around each one. Don’t let your eyes shut – you need them to keep reading this! also we are looking for a neutral state while still staying awake and gently alert …. Let your tongue widen, thicken and lengthen in your mouth – it’s a big muscle and will shorten and shrink like any other when tense…..…… let your top lip relax down from your nose ….. let your lips unpurse and thicken it might feel like a very gentle smile(no lip filler needed here!) …. Relax your laughter or smiling cheek muscles to let your cheeks and jowls become loose and broad, ……..widen across the bridge of your nose so you can breath more freely through your open nostrils….enjoy watching the breath come and go at it’s own pace through the tubes starting at your nose and running all the way into your chest and beyond into the whole of your blood stream…….
The list of areas we habitually tighten goes on and of course our system works as a whole unit and not in individual parts so really we’re thinking out the whole of ourselves mind and body working at ease and being able to reset to neutral but it can be fun to look at a bit at a time too so these are some ideas to play with for now. I hope you enjoyed them.
Do you feel more peaceful and at ease with a blanker face? Let me know in the comments if you gave this a go.
