Self in Mind

27/01/2026

Why does it feel easier when someone’s doing it with us?

Because our brains are wired for connection.

When we’re alongside someone, our nervous system settles and motivation comes more easily. For many of us with ADHD, shared effort helps us start, stay engaged and keep going.

This can look like:
– a personal trainer at the gym
– a walking buddy
– someone sitting with us while we fold the laundry

We’re still doing the work – it just feels more doable when someone’s there.

A lot of us carry guilt or shame about needing accountability. But if support helps us reach our goals, surely that outweighs the negative stories we tell ourselves.

If you’d like help understanding how your brain works, or want simple tools that make life feel easier rather than harder, you’re welcome to book a call.

Have you used accountability buddies before? Did they help?

23/01/2026

20/01/2026

Do you find yourself struggling more during the winter?

Yeah, me too.
The good news is it's not just your motivation vanishing...
It's your brain and body responding to the weather conditions.

Less daylight hours affect mood and dopamine, so if you have problems with starting or maintaining something, these can be exceptionally hard during winter.

It's a simple nervous system response and many of us struggle with it.

However, there are small CBT tools you can use to manage the winter lows:
- Lower the bar, just starting something counts
- Add comfort: warmth, soft light, familiar sounds
- Use external support: set timers, body doubling, notes where you'll see them
- Use kinder words: this is normal, what would support me to start, it's okay if I slow down today

You don't need more discipline when the winter blues hit. You need support that fits the season and an understanding of how to best support you through it.

If you need help with unpacking your brain and finding solutions that work for you, let's chat - click the link in my bio to get started.

15/01/2026

13/01/2026

Many people with ADHD grow up believing they’re lazy, inconsistent or not trying hard enough and are totally misunderstood by the people around them.

But on the inside, ADHD looks like a constant effort to manage focus, motivation, emotions and stress at the same time.

What people don’t see when they say “but you seem so capable” is the mental load behind the scenes.

Understanding your ADHD helps you stop fighting your brain and start working with it.

If you want to understand your ADHD more and find support that actually fits, you’re very welcome to book a session. We’ll figure it out together.

08/01/2026

If routines never seem to stick, this reel is for you.

Especially if you’re already feeling that pressure to “stick to my resolutions” for 2026

When routines fall apart, it’s rarely because you lack motivation or discipline.
For many ADHD brains, it’s because the conditions weren’t right.

Think about a time a routine did work for you:
– going to the gym
– moving your body more
– eating in a way that felt supportive

What was different then?
Your hours, energy, expectations, environment, support…

From a CBT perspective, sustainable change is built through structure and context, not self-criticism.
But if you’re not careful, planning turns inward and harsh:
“I’m just not consistent”
“I always give up”
“I should be better by now”

That mindset will make 2026 feel heavier.

Instead of tougher resolutions, try gentler planning:
Plan around your nervous system.
Plan around your energy.
Plan around your real life.

You don’t need a stricter version of you.
You need conditions that actually support you.

And if you’re sitting there thinking, “I get this… but I don’t know what to change or how to reframe it”, that’s exactly what therapy is for.

Book a session with me, and we’ll work it out together.
At your pace.
With your ADHD in mind.
No pressure to have it all figured out first.

06/01/2026

You don’t need a new planner this January.
You probably already have 37 at home.
Mostly unused.
Some with very good intentions.

If you have ADHD, buying new things often feels like the first step to change. New notebook. New pen. New colour-coded system.

It gives you that instant dopamine and a little burst of hope… but in reality, you might use it for a few weeks, then it will sit in the drawer with the others.

Needing that dopamine isn’t a character flaw; it’s how an ADHD brain seeks motivation - but when the dopamine and motivation wear off, the negative self-beliefs will set in.

Plus, New Year’s resolutions can quickly turn into unrealistic expectations:

“I’ll be consistent every day”

“I’ll finally get my life together”

“This time I’ll stick to it”

Kind, realistic change looks different.
It’s smaller, and flexible, and human.
It’s less about perfection and more about understanding what actually works for you.

You don’t need another planner to figure that out.
You need space to reflect, personalise, and build change in a way your brain can sustain.

So this January…
Maybe don’t buy the planner.
Book a session instead, and let’s make a plan that doesn’t end up in a drawer by week three.

02/01/2026

What if this New Year isn’t about starting something new?

If you have ADHD, you’re probably already juggling more than your brain would ideally like.
There’s the stuff you want to do.
The stuff you need to do.
And the stuff you feel like you should be doing because everyone else seems to be.

That’s a lot.

So instead of adding another habit, routine or goal this January, what if you tried stopping something instead?

Stopping the routine that never quite fits.
Stopping the pressure to do things “properly”.
Stopping the constant mental tally of everything you’re behind on.

For many ADHD brains, the struggle isn’t motivation; it’s overload.
And no new planner, habit or morning routine fixes that.

Sometimes the most helpful change isn’t doing more.
It’s carrying less.

Dropping one thing can create more relief than starting five new ones.

If you’re not sure what’s helping and what’s just draining you, that’s something therapy can really help untangle, at your pace, in a way that actually works for your brain.

So maybe this year isn’t about becoming better.
Maybe it’s about making things lighter.

What’s one thing you’d be open to letting go of?

31/12/2025

For many ADHD and neurodivergent brains, end-of-year reflection can feel heavy. Too many questions. Too much pressure. And it’s way too easy for us to slide into self-criticism - blaming ourselves instead of the situation.

So let’s make this smaller and more achievable.

Try one of these ADHD-friendly ways to reflect on the past year:

Record a short voice note. Just talk and see what comes out

Doodle how the year felt rather than what you achieved

Choose one word that sums up the year

Name one thing you survived

Name one thing you learned about yourself

How can I change the situation next year so that the thing I blamed myself for (even though it wasn’t actually my fault) won’t happen again?

That’s it. No analysing. No fixing. No “I should have done more”.

Reflection isn’t about proving you did enough.
It’s about noticing that you were here, trying, adapting, and coping.

If reflection stirs something up for you and you’re not sure what to do next, therapy can help. I can help with resetting and finding your next step. You can book a session via the link in my bio.

30/12/2025

Forget resolutions. Try intentions instead.

The whole “new year, new me” thing sounds motivating until it turns into pressure, self-criticism and another stick to beat yourself with by the end of January.

Here’s a gentler, more sustainable reframe, especially if you’re navigating ADHD, anxiety or burnout.

You don’t need a new you.
You need a new approach.

Resolutions are often rigid, outcome-focused and loaded with shoulds.
Intentions are flexible, values-led and rooted in how you want to live, not just what you want to achieve.

From a CBT lens, intentions work because they:

focus on direction, not perfection

allow for detours, pauses and bad brain days

support self-compassion alongside change

keep you connected to why something matters to you

So instead of:
❌ “I will be more disciplined this year”

Try:
✅ “I want to treat myself with more consistency and care, even when things feel hard”

Same desire.
Very different nervous system response.

Change doesn’t need to be loud, dramatic or perfectly timed to count.

If you were to set an intention for the year ahead, what would you want more of, not what you want to fix?