Therapy Owls, 10 Liberty Gardens, Bristol (2025)

05/07/2024

Fresh Ink -

16/04/2024

Ever feel like sticking to what you know, just like Snoopy lying on his doghouse? Many of us find comfort in the familiar, but real growth begins when stepping out of that comfort zone.

Stuck in your Comfort Zone?

Your comfort zone is where routines thrive, the risk is minimal, and everything feels all too familiar. It's comfy but can limit your growth and development.
We might find ourselves working extra hours instead of delegating, shying away from promotions, or avoiding new tech—all because it feels safer.

Why does Growth feel scary?

Despite its benefits, growth often feels daunting. Our basic human needs for safety clash with our drive for self-fulfilment and achievement.

The result? Boredom occurs when things are too easy, and panic occurs when they look too hard. However, by focusing on potential learning instead of fear of failure, you can shift your mindset and start embracing challenges.

Embracing the Growth Zone

How can you start prioritizing growth over comfort? Here are four actionable steps:

Consider the cost of doing nothing - Instead of worrying about the risks of failure, consider what you stand to lose by not trying.

Identify growth roadblocks - Self-awareness can reveal what's holding you back. Understanding these barriers is the first step to overcoming them.

Create learning-based goals - Traditional success metrics are helpful, but integrating learning and discovery can provide more profound, long-term value.

Take microsteps - Small changes lead to significant differences. Each small action strengthens neural pathways in your brain, eventually forming new habits.

Push Yourself

What would happen if you challenged yourself to step out of your comfort zone?

Set a goal that seems daunting. Break it into smaller, manageable steps, or 'microsteps,' to make the process less intimidating and more achievable.

We can’t all be like Snoopit’sRemember, it's okay to feel the fear—embrace it and move forward anyway. Your ability to handle uncertainty and spot opportunities will grow, transforming how you approachLet’slenges.the fear—embrace it and move forward anyway. Your ability to handle uncertainty and spot opportunities will grow, transforming how you approachLet’slenges.

Let’s not all be like Snoopy; sometimes, it pays to come down out of the warmth of your comfy place.

15/04/2024

it's good to talk

15/04/2024

‘The word ’therapy’ has no verb in English, for which I am grateful; it cannot do anything to anybody, hence can better represent a process going on, observed perhaps, understood perhaps, assisted perhaps, but not applied. The Greek noun from which therapy is derived means ‘a servant’. The verb means ‘to wait’.

15/04/2024

Wired Up but Disconnected – You Are Not Alone

Dr Gabor Mate recently highlighted an uncomfortable truth: “We’re more wired but less connected than ever.” Think about that.

Despite our hyper-connected world, many of us are quietly battling isolation. This disconnection has severe implications for our mental health.

Ask Yourself: Where Does it Hurt?

When we feel physical pain, we know what to do – we visit the doctor and ask for help.

But what about our psychological needs? Feeling seen, belonging, connecting with others, having a purpose; it’s about how we engage with the world around us.

When these needs are unmet, the solution doesn’t feel as straightforward, so we battle on ourselves.

Learning Lessons: What Can Tribes Teach Us?

Our ancestors thrived on teamwork and community. They weren’t the strongest on the planet, but together, they were formidable.

Today, we face modern threats, not sabre-tooth tigers, yet we’re told to handle them alone. This shift has fragmented our ‘tribe’, and many feel more isolated than ever despite all our devices being connected.

What Can I Do?

Feeling alone can echo the daunting isolation of our ancestors on the savannah—unsafe, uncertain, disconnected. This environment is ripe for anxiety and depression.

It’s a myth that one person can’t make an impact. Start small: reach out, connect, and ask your friends and loved ones, “Are you really okay?”.

Just as we seek a doctor’s help for physical pain, disconnection and loneliness might also need professional support. We can all start, though, by prescribing ourselves better connections.

14/04/2024

TikTok and Meditation? Really? TikTok is fast and Meditation is about slowing down... isn't it?

Sometimes, things that don't seem like they go together really work.

We are big fans of Walking Therapy and the connection with nature and perspective; then TikTok comes along and gives a loudspeaker to the benefits of reflection, nature, exercise and meditation!

It is always good to keep an open mind as to where you find inspiration.

When was the last time you joined some dots in your thinking when you took a minute to give your brain a chance to do what it is best at?

https://lnkd.in/en_wziNF

14/04/2024

Better Mental Health: Releasing the Handbrake of Perfectionism

Perfectionism pops up everywhere: work, school, and relationships. While striving for excellence can be a positive trait, perfectionism can be harmful when it becomes all-consuming. It is also a master of disguise.

What does it all mean? How do I tackle it?

Look no further than Suggestion #4 in Therapy Owls’ 7 Simple Strategies for Investing in Better Mental Health:

Suggestion #4: Releasing the Handbrake of Perfectionism

What does Perfectionism look like?

Perfectionism can go undetected…. But not for ever. Here’s what perfectionism in plain sight can look like:

· an excessive need for getting something 100%
· an inability to accept anything that is good enough
· having to know all the answers before starting or joining in
· impossibly high standards for yourself and others
· a need to control so that others cannot affect what you have done

Where these perceived needs are not met (almost always) feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and even depression can quickly follow.

Are there red flags to watch out for?

Perfectionists often give themselves away. For example, they often experience:

· procrastination
· difficulty completing tasks
· struggle with decision making
· difficulty accepting compliments
· difficulty accepting criticism

Feedback, so important for growth, is another problem area as it gets perceived as criticism and can clash or does not align with our own self-perception.

The Ripple Effect of Perfectionism

It is fairly obvious how perfectionism can impact on the individual. It is also clear how it might apply in a practical sense say at work or in a learning environment.

Perfectionism can also affect relationships, as perfectionists often have high expectations of others and may be critical or demanding when these expectations are not met.

While our heads are not made of glass, perfectionists can still expect expectations to be met even when they don’t properly communicate them. Not fair. This leads to resentment, frustration and distance for both parties involved.

I thought perfectionism was a strength?

There is an important difference between healthy striving and unhealthy perfectionism. Achieving balance is key. Setting high standards while also being kind and compassionate, and not falling into the trap of self-criticism is ok. Believing perfectionism is achievable and constantly failing is not.

What can I do?

It is important to learn to let go of the need for perfection and to accept that making mistakes is human and are a natural part of the learning and growing process. We never really learn as fully otherwise.

We hope that this gives you some relief from the burden of perfectionism. Follow Therapy Owls and stay tuned for Suggestion #5 For Better Mental Health tomorrow.

14/04/2024

Better Mental Health: Escaping the Grip of Toxic Shame

When toxic, shame can be an intensely painful and isolating emotion. With self-compassion, connection and courage, we can break free.

What is shame? Isn’t it the same as guilt? I can drown in it, so how do I tackle it? All good questions. For some ideas, look no further than Suggestion #5 in Therapy Owls’ 7 Simple Strategies for Investing in Better Mental Health:

Suggestion #5: Escaping the Grip of Toxic Shame

First, shame is distinct from guilt. A rule of thumb: Guilt: I have done something terrible. Shame: I am bad. You can see then how much heavier shame can feel, mainly when it turns toxic.

The Heavy Weight of Toxic Shame

Toxic shame makes you feel flawed, unwanted, and afraid to be truly seen. It thrives in silence and judgment.

Signs You’re Caught in Toxic Shame

· Harsh self-criticism
· Feeling like you don’t deserve to be heard
· Isolating from others
· Fearing what others would think if they really knew you.

Can we heal from Shame?

Yes. But there can be big emotions involved, so it needs careful handling. We need to feel safe to start unpicking shame's power over us.
Feeling safe can, over time, allow:

· Sharing stories and experiences
· Developing self-compassion
· Developing the courage to be vulnerable

This leads to a more profound connection with ourselves, others, and our relationships.

Managing the Emotional Tsunami

Unpacking shame is tough before it feels incredible. Developing healthy coping skills when doing this is crucial to limit emotional flooding.

We can’t always halt what feels like an emotional tsunami, but we might start to learn how to surf it. How?

· Journaling and creating safe spaces
· Exercise or walking in nature
· Keeping connected with trusted friends and family
· Learning or practising mindfulness or breathing exercises
· Talking to a professional to avoid getting emotionally flooded.

You are not alone.

Shame is not something that affects just you. Shame is a universal human experience. By building trusted connections, we can understand and share experiences.

We hope that this provides some relief about releasing the grip of toxic shame. Follow Therapy Owls for more FREE help on issues like this, and stay tuned tomorrow for Suggestion #6 in Therapy Owls’ 7 Simple Strategies for Investing in Better Mental Health.

14/04/2024

Conquering Anxiety: Transforming Fear into Resilience

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it” - Nelson Mandela

In Part 1 of Therapy Owls’ Conquering Anxiety Series, we were introduced to the tricky world of anxiety. Now, we're about to dive deeper into the heart of what often serves as anxiety's ringleader: Fear

Fear is Natural

Fear is as natural as breathing. It's ingrained in our DNA, a survival instinct that has evolved over time. However, it doesn't wear the same mask for everyone; it morphs into different shapes and sizes:

Beyond our control: Some fears stem from factors beyond our control, like aging, solitude, or natural disasters or even the unwanted behaviour of others. These are universal fears that touch us all.

Decision Based: Then there are fears related to choices we make - finding a new job, ending a relationship, or relocating. These are the fears of change, the unknown paths.

Internal: Lastly, we have fears that are the most important to unpick; they nest within us, often revolving around our self-worth. The fear of rejection, for instance, can infiltrate every part of our life, from friendships to job interviews and relationships.

When Fear Shapeshifts into Anxiety

At the core of every fear is the looming question: What if? What if we fail? What if we're not up to the task? What if we're left all alone? These 'what ifs' fuel anxiety.

Anxiety is that persistent fear that we won't be able to cope with the life that awaits us. It's the fear of making mistakes, the dread of solitude, the terror of losing our job, or the nightmare of financial instability.

A Fresh Perspective on Anxiety

But what if we could view fear and anxiety through a different lens? What if we could transform these limiting emotions into sources of courage and growth?

Imagine embracing a belief system that allows us to see life as it truly is, rather than as our fears paint it. Picture shifting from anxiety about the unknown to a mindset of resilience, knowing we have the strength to tackle whatever comes our way.

Nothing to Fear – Start Today

The good news is this transformation is within your reach right now. There's no magic solution, no quick fix, but it doesn't have to take a lifetime either. With the right mindset and a little effort, you can quickly make remarkable progress.

Embrace the change. It is worth every ounce of effort you invest in it. The impact on you, your relationships, and your perspective on life is truly game-changing.

In Part 3 of our series, we'll unveil how you can kickstart this transformation. Don't miss out on the opportunity to unlock your potential and turn fear into a catalyst for growth.

14/04/2024

Talking therapies are psychological treatments for mental and emotional problems like stress, anxiety and depression.

There are lots of different types of talking therapy, but they all involve working with a trained therapist.

This may be one-to-one, in a group, online, over the phone, with your family, or with your partner.

The therapist helps you understand and cope with the problems you're having.

For some problems and conditions, one type of talking therapy may be better than another.

Different talking therapies also suit different people

12/04/2024

Short-term Results aren’t everything.

Young Adults (and those around them) have been nervously waiting for exam results in the last few weeks. For some, this has brought the desired result; for others, it is not. And it can feel like the end of the world.

Some of the most successful individuals have felt early disappointment, and almost all successful individuals feel it (often, many times) on their journeys. Take Richard Branson.

Branson's perspective reinforces the idea that while achieving results and success is important, it's not the sole measure of a fulfilling and meaningful life. For example:

Focus on the Journey, not the Outcome – we can chase targets so hard that we miss a lot of learning and experiences along the way.

Develop a long-term mindset – longer-term thinking requires perspective and courage. However, it reflects a more realistic view of how life and our pursuit of something meaningful always contain ebbs and flows.

Learning to fail – being overly focused on success can mean we don’t take the risks and suffer the failures and setbacks needed to develop the crucial quality of resilience.

The truth is results are, of course, important. However, the world we live in today, how we build our careers and the employers who are recruiting the teams of the future are all facing unprecedented change.

A bad result can feel terrible for a time, but it never needs to define us.

https://therapyowls.co.uk/are-traditional-careers-part-of-the-history-books/

11/04/2024

7 Vicious Voices of our Inner Critic

It can feel like playing Fairground Whack a Mole.

Just when we think we have identified the toxic voice that sits inside our heads telling us we are not enough, it can change into something else, attacking from a different angle.

Locating the Enemy

Everyone has an inner critic. It follows scripts written just for us. It can be a crushing opponent.

It often goes undetected as it has been there for ages. We can even think it is normal or just part of who we are.

Unfair fight

One evidence-based study identified 7 types of inner critic. Yes, 7. To even the odds, here are what they might sound like:

1. The Army Sargeant
This critic pushes very hard. It might say:
“You’re lazy; work harder if you want to achieve anything”

2. The Conformist
This critic wants you to fit in. It might say:
“What will other people think?; you’ll look stupid!”

3. The Controller
This critic tries to control behaviour. It might say:
“You have no willpower; you won’t be able to stop if you start”

4. The Perfectionist
This critic wants to avoid criticism. It might say:
“You’re not going to show anyone that, are you? Do it again”

5. The Guilt Trapper
This critic traps you via past mistakes. It might say:
“They won’t forgive you twice; what if it goes wrong again?”

6. The Silent Saboteur
This critic avoids risk by torpedoing self-esteem. It might say:
“Don’t bother starting as you’ll probably fail anyway”

7. The Dark Destroyer
This critic keeps you down with shame. It might say:
“You’re worthless. You don’t deserve the chance”

Sound Familiar?

Do any of these critical voices seem familiar? Which is the loudest for you? Sometimes a few are shouting together at the same time.

Know Your Enemy and Reach Out

One effective strategy is to learn how to make friends with the critics. Or, if not friends, at least get acquainted.

Knowing what you are dealing with helps give perspective. It might even stop or slow destructive behaviours.

Sometimes the critics get on top. If it carries on, you might need help. Always reach out before a big defeat.

Therapy Owls

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