Claire Jetha - Funeral Celebrant

31/07/2022

Should the children come to the funeral ?
Never worry about what a celebrant will think, I can conduct a service around a crying baby, a toddler who escapes and is playing peek a boo or include older children in a meaningful ritual that feels right for them.
Such an individual decision depends on you , what you feel is right for each child and for your family. Some would rather keep children away from a ceremony others feel it is important for them to come for their own sense of closure. Either way it is important to be able to talk with children about their feelings and the concepts of life and death at an appropriate level for their understanding.
Thats why I am sharing these recommendations of books which have come via Dying Matters and can help to explore these feelings in a safe and age appropriate way

These stories help kids understand and process loss.

31/07/2022

Should the children come to the funeral ?
Never worry about what a celebrant will think, I can conduct a service around a crying baby, a toddler who escapes and is playing peek a boo or include older children in a meaningful ritual that feels right for them.

Such an individual decision depends on you , what you feel is right for each child and for your family. Some would rather keep children away from a ceremony others feel it is important for them to come for their own sense of closure. Either way it is important to be able to talk with children about their feelings and the concepts of life and death at an appropriate level for their understanding.

Thats why I am sharing these recommendations of books which have come via Dying Matters and can help to explore these feelings in a safe and age appropriate way

Books can help children of all ages explore emotions and questions about death and dying. Here. we recommend five of our favourites for 8-12 year-olds

05/10/2021

Do I have to put flowers on the coffin ? - part 2

For many the tradition of flowers on the coffin still remains very important. However, for an increasing number of people flowers do not reflect the character of interests of their loved one. The waste and cost of fresh flowers might also not sit comfortably with you
In a previous post I showed a basket of vegetables for a keen allotment grower. Last week, at a ceremony I conducted, a violin and favourite sheet music adorned the coffin of a man who loved playing and listening to music.
You can choose anything you feel fitting and personal as decoration and the items can be returned to you at the end of the ceremony.
Maybe we could start conversations about what would reflect us best. The more that people talk in advance about their preferences the easier it is for bereaved families to feel they are making the right decisions for their loved ones.
What would you chose to reflect you ?
photo by Gretchen Seelenbinder on Unsplash.com

20/08/2021

What a beautiful woodland ceremony at Arnos Vale today. https://arnosvale.org.uk/
Have you ever considered a woodland burial - some choose it to lessen their ecological impact and some for the sentiments reflected in this poem

Woodland Burial by Pam Ayers

Don't lay me in some gloomy churchyard shaded by a wall
Where the dust of ancient bones has spread a dryness over all.
Lay me in some leafy loam where, sheltered from the cold,
Little seeds investigate and tender leaves unfold.
There kindly and affectionately plant a native tree
To grow resplendent before Life and Love and hold some part of me.
The roots will not disturb me as they wend their peaceful way
To build the fine and bountiful from closure and decay,
To seek their small requirements so that when their work is done
I'll be tall and standing strongly in the beauty of the sun.

photo by Marc Pell unsplash.com

15/04/2021

Do we have to have flowers? - part 1
Putting flowers on a coffin has been a tradition in this country for hundreds of years but sometimes families would prefer the coffin to be adorned with something more personal and meaningful instead. At a recent funeral for a man who was a keen gardener and loved growing vegetables in his allotment, a beautifully arranged basket of vegetables proved a more fitting tribute than flowers. What you choose to put on the coffin is entirely up to you.

photo by Filip Baotić at unsplash

11/04/2021

One of my favourite poets writing about all aspects of life and love is Kahlil Gibran, his words on death are so beautiful .......
........For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek Love unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

photo by Jomas Humbel @ unsplash.com

11/04/2021

Including some poetry in a non religious funeral can be a beautiful way of expressing emotions, describing a loved one, reflecting on life and death or looking towards the future.
This poem Afterglow by Helen Lowrie Marshall is one that is ideally suited for the closing words of a ceremony

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun
of happy memories that I leave when life is done

photo by nathantrampe.com

11/04/2021

Nowadays most people would not consider themselves religious but they still hold their own personal beliefs. I believe the most meaningful funeral ceremonies reflect this individuality, whilst also maintaining respect, reverence and ritual. I feel honoured and privileged to be with bereaved families and to be able to work alongside you in creating a personal and beautiful ceremony for someone you have lost.