Sometimes, Trauma.

14/03/2026

I am aging, I am greying. Because I am a woman, mainstream society tells me I should pretend this isn’t true. It’s brutal on appearance. It looks for flaws. Mainstream society tells women they should aspire always to look younger and keep their perceived sexual currency as long as possible. I should look as young as I possibly can (… and don’t get me started on p**n culture favouring women whose ge****ls look like children).

I should also avoid ever being in a bigger body, feel phobic/dysmorphic of my own fat (yuk!!) and I should be embarrassed to be living outside the box prescribed to me as a middle aged person.

I am about to turn 50 years old. Half a century!! In prehistoric/ancient times the average mortality age for a woman was 21-30 years old.
It was only 49 in 1901, rising to over 83 by 2024. This is due to better maternity care, antibiotics and access to medicine.

My point is that far more women through history will have had much shorter lives than me. I am more free than nearly all of them: I am white, middle class, educated, have a bank account, my name on the deeds to a house, my own income/status AND a passport that allows me to go pretty much anywhere I would like to go.

I feel a touch on my shoulder of the ancestral hands, telling me to seize my opportunities for a fulfilled life, offering myself to the world and to others, whilst taking great care of this amazing body that is nearly a half-century old. It’s not a skinny body: but it can cycle 50 miles easily. It took me up a mountain in the Alps last year. It gives me intense joy as it holds the people I love close. It has bunions. A wonky ankle. But it’s great.

A farmer painted this sheep garishly red. I guess the sheep perhaps doesn’t feel that much about it. We could view it through the lense of property, ownership and consumerism: someone will make money from the sheep somehow. At the same time, hanging out in a wild environment on top of a cliff, making the view even more spectacular, being free to wander about and nibble at things: that’s not a bad life. Not caring if you are red or white or any other colour..

I elected to dye my hair blue recently, whilst not hiding the grey. I LOVE the fact I am not getting highlights like a good middle class woman and I am dealing with my thinning pero-menopausal hair this way. I love how strangers breathlessly say: “I love it!! That takes courage!”. I guess my secret is that I don’t care too much what I look like: a bit like this sheep!! Don’t get me wrong - I can have plenty of vain, insecure moments like anyone else. But I want to live my life from the inside of my body outwards, not the other way round. I guess these thoughts bring me joy today and a feeling of ancestral responsibility.

08/03/2026

When ADHD Training for therapists leaves you deeply challenged- and not because you learned anything surprising about ADHD or your clients.

We know that therapists often carry a strong trauma charge of their own. Sometimes therapists who are capable of beautiful and holding work still live in chaos. That was me once, before I learned self-care skills and realised that my procrastination was a form of self-harm and I deserved better. In parallel with my client work and championing of their recovery, I gradually learned to open my post, go to bed before midnight, eat breakfast and brush my teeth....

Explore a therapist’s journey through ADHD self-discovery, self-care, and the embrace of personal differences in life and work.

07/03/2026

Sometimes
There is bliss in the hot bath
That carries stress from pore to bubble,
And soaks up the overwhelm
Of unmade decisions.

Sometimes
There is safety
In the long note sustained,
Beyond breath that was clenched shallow
By years of accommodation.

Sometimes
There is freedom
In the rhythmic tapping
On the chest, and the closed eyes
Of internal focus.

And sometimes
We need to let go
Of the idea of getting there -
To let ourselves rest in the moment
Where the clock hand stops
And we are still.

No past. No future.
No story. No failure.
Sometimes, it’s that fresh wash of attention
That makes you whole.

HanJan

06/03/2026

Sometimes
There is bliss in the hot bath
That carries stress from pore to bubble,
And soaks up the overwhelm
Of unmade decisions.

Sometimes
There is safety
In the long note sustained,
Beyond breath that was clenched shallow
By years of accommodation.

Sometimes
There is freedom
In the rhythmic tapping
On the chest, and the closed eyes
Of internal focus.

And sometimes
We need to let go
Of the idea of getting there -
To let ourselves rest in that moment
Where the clock hand stops
And we are still.

No past. No future.
No story. No failure.
Sometimes, it’s that fresh wash of attention
That makes you whole.

HanJan

04/03/2026

This was interesting to me this morning and helpful to me twice today in my clinical work.

Learn the art of decision-making and how you can just choose to avoid getting stuck in indecision and missed opportunities.

04/03/2026

I just found this article very helpful, especially when working with Decision Paralysis as a common symptom of ADHD..

Learn the art of decision-making and how you can just choose to avoid getting stuck in indecision and missed opportunities.

26/02/2026

A sad woman asked me
“Can this be changed?”
and hoped I would have
a key in my pocket
to fit the lock of her
despair.

The lonely man asked
“What shall I do?”
as we both sat,
with his chain ankle ghost,
that manacled
freedom.

Sometimes,
we keep our souls
in a locked box
on the windowsill
and fear death’s fingers
if it rattles.

Sometimes,
we seek to hear only
clattering dialogue of thought,
clanking down the
one-way tracks to
contention.

And sometimes
the trauma is hidden in cell-seeds,
trapped in shoulder stories;
or the anxious rope tale
of your skipping
stomach.

“What does your body say?”
I want to ask.
The answers
will hold their
breath and wait
for you.

But only in that
rejected, split off
holder, in the
soft sacred
fruiting
body bowl

Will you ever feel
the right question to ask.
The question that
tells you, finally:
it is time
to harvest.

This poem forms part of a 21 poem anthology about working as a therapist, called Therapy Sandwich.

(My performing/family name is HanJan, but I work under the name Hannah Duncan and my therapist profile is here: https://www.counselling-directory.org...)

https://youtu.be/fNJqfwM1q4w?si=C0CsSveoZnOWFMfO

This is a poem written about how Trauma lays hidden in the body, waiting to be invited into the therapeutic conversation - so that you can finally heal and b...

21/02/2026

Sometimes, taking a break from clinical work is necessary. I've been using this time to reflect on new ways to share my experience with therapists and clients. Working with complex trauma requires time to recharge and prioritize self-care. My recent campervan retreat on Ireland's West Coast was a great opportunity to do just that - surrounded by stunning landscapes and the soothing sounds of nature. As I ponder new ventures for Sometimes Trauma, I'm reminded of a powerful phrase: 'The earth will rise to meet your feet.' It's a reminder to be brave and take the leap, rather than playing it safe and risking regret. I've missed training and supervising, and I'm excited to head back home and get to work again, possibly with some new directions all together…

09/02/2026

A therapeutic journey with your feet? These parts of us that ground us to the earth, that carry us all our lives:

From Birth, they have kicked the air –
Sought connections to push against,
To make Safety the enclosing feeling.
With arms, baby-me whirled,
Almost informing my forming brain
That I exist cosmically in this time and plane
After a billion years of nothing.
There will have been a first day
For them to securely hold my world upright:
The first grass felt under:
The first pathway of travel in sight.
How often since have I not felt them as they mobilise me,
Whilst in return they avoided every root, pavement stepped upon,
They’ve accelerated away from each danger, every slowing down
To meet my loved ones
In a kiss.
These toes have wiggled out my bliss.
The pads have stomped anger –
And both turned inwards when shy remiss
Takes hold.
Now bunions creep…and angles deep
Leap into toes, as age seeps to
The whole frame.
But these older feet are happier on the soil
Than ever.
They know who they carry.
They know the soul can’t be harried
From this life and experience of ME.
They know the rhythm they beat
Will cease – but complete
Beyond their own existence –
The echo of their passing
In the landscape and ripple
Of my infinite life.

I have been taking photos of my feet in diferent landscapes for several years now, and photos of feet in general. The conscious act of grounding: stopping to...

03/02/2026

Sometimes trauma casts a long shadow.

We don’t always realise though that it holds something precious for us, as we work through the layers of meanings we have held from that place of fear and disintegration. As we re-write our meanings, climb step by step away from a nervous system wired by fear, towards one wired though regulation and curiosity, it can be that we claim a new view and an integration with “shadow” that makes everything more vivid and acute. Meanings can emerge that shift what we carry. That’s not to say it’s not tough, troubling, hard, unfair, devastating - but it can also be a most beautiful act of reclamation.

26/01/2026

In February 2025, Sometimes Trauma held a Retreat Weekend in Devon for experienced therapists working with complex trauma. As part of our offering, we created a 60-page, full colour Emotional Regulation Toolkit for use with clients overcoming and working with their trauma. We have decided to make this available to a wider market of therapists and clients.

It contains resources gathered from over more than twenty years of practice and extensive specialist training. Our main goal was to have everything in one resource in a way that is navigable and shareable.

In the toolkit, there are “old favourites” that therapists return to repeatedly as they are valued for their immediate application for client work. There is also distillation of more modern approaches to Trauma, such as Polyvagal theory, introductions to memory processing and the impact of trauma on the brain. These tools then give a skill base for different personalities and needs in clients: from brain to body (top down) approaches such as Cognitive Processing Therapy, to body/brain (bottom up), such as tapping (EFT, Collarbone tapping) and movement practices. These practices are linked to regulation video content online.

For a quick look at what’s inside, click on the video here.

Emotional Regulation Toolkit for Therapists: Essential ResourcesTo purchase the Emotional Regulation Toolkit, click this link to visit our website, https:/...

23/01/2026

Sometimes

A sad woman asked me
“Can this be changed?”
and hoped I would have
a key in my pocket
to fit the lock of her
despair.

The lonely man asked
“What shall I do?”
as we both sat,
with his chain ankle ghost,
that manacled
freedom.

Sometimes,
we keep our souls
in a locked box
on the windowsill
and fear death’s fingers
if it rattles.

Sometimes,
we seek to hear only
clattering dialogue of thought,
clanking down the
one-way tracks to
contention.

And sometimes
the trauma is hidden in cell-seeds,
trapped in shoulder stories;
or the anxious rope tale
of your skipping
stomach.

“What does your body say?”
I want to ask.
The answers
will hold their
breath and wait
for you.

But only in that
rejected, split off
holder, in the
soft sacred
fruiting
body bowl

Will you ever feel
the right question to ask.
The question that
tells you, finally:
it is time
to harvest.

This is a poem written about how Trauma lays hidden in the body, waiting to be invited into the therapeutic conversation - so that you can finally heal and b...