Papillon Emotional Wellbeing

25/03/2026

20/03/2026

When your child gets a book she’s been read at school before and immediately says, “It’s like our grandad, because Syd (the character in the book) can’t see his grandad anymore, and we can’t see our grandad anymore” 😢

17/03/2026

I am 1 in 5. ♾️🧠

17/03/2026

This! 👇

When Attendance Data Becomes More Important Than The Child

I want to speak honestly about something that is becoming increasingly difficult for families.

Across the country we are seeing more pressure around attendance figures.
Schools are under pressure.
Local Authorities are under pressure.
Everyone is being asked to improve percentages.

But somewhere in the middle of all of this…

children are being lost in the data.

Every week I speak to families whose children are experiencing Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA).

Children who are not being “difficult”.
Children who are not “refusing school”.
Children whose nervous systems are overwhelmed.

Children who wake up every morning already in fight, flight or shutdown.

Parents describe the same heartbreaking scenes:

A child crying before the school day has even begun.
A child physically unable to leave the house.
A child who was once coping but is now completely exhausted from masking.
A child who feels unsafe, overwhelmed or misunderstood in the school environment.

And the parents?

They are often doing everything they possibly can.

Holding their child through panic attacks.
Trying to negotiate with schools.
Trying to explain what anxiety looks like in real life.
Trying to protect their child while also being told they must improve attendance.

Many of these parents feel judged.
Blamed.
Threatened with fines or prosecution.

But what families need everyone to understand is this:

You cannot solve nervous system distress with attendance pressure.

More meetings.
More letters.
More warnings.

None of these things address the root cause.

This is why EBSA is so complex.

It is not simply about getting a child through the school gate.

It is about understanding:

• anxiety and trauma responses
• sensory overload in school environments
• masking and burnout
• unmet SEND needs
• neurodivergent children trying to survive systems that were not designed for them

And for schools, I want to say this clearly as well.

Most schools are not uncaring.

Many teachers and SENCOs are trying their absolute best inside a system that is placing enormous pressure on attendance statistics.

But when the focus becomes the number rather than the child, the conversation moves away from what actually helps.

The law recognises this.

Under the Children and Families Act 2014 and the SEND Code of Practice, children whose needs require additional support must have those needs properly understood and assessed.

And under Section 19 of the Education Act 1996, Local Authorities have a duty to ensure suitable education is arranged where a child cannot access school because of illness or other reasons.

That includes mental health, anxiety and neurodevelopmental needs.

What families need most right now is not pressure.

They need:

Understanding.
Collaboration.
Curiosity about what is really happening for the child.

When we change the question from:

“How do we fix attendance?”

to

“What does this child need to feel safe enough to learn?”

that is when real solutions begin to appear.

To the families reading this who are living this reality every day:

You are not failing.

You are navigating one of the most complex and emotionally exhausting situations a parent can face.

And your child’s experience matters far more than any attendance percentage.

Keep advocating.
Keep asking questions.
Keep bringing the focus back to the child.

Because that is where it always should have been.

Jess & Nic 💙💙

08/03/2026

Naturally, today I am seeing a lot of posts about International Women's Day. I am choosing to share this one because this is the one I identify the most with. Every single line describes a part of my story.

Happy International Women's Day to us all,
May we raise them, may we be them,
Each of us stands stronger when we support each other.

08/03/2026

01/03/2026

27/02/2026

27/02/2026

Please click on "like" or say hi on the comment bit of this post etc... to indicate that you are seeing this. My posts don't seem to be seen by as many recently as they used to.

Here are some of the reported benefits of 12 weeks of Drawing and Talking or Sand Play Therapies.

If you would like to find out more, get in touch. I would love to talk you through what these 2 interventions are all about.

Tel/ WhatsApp: 07861778913
Email: papillonew@gmail.com

Thank you Drawing and Talking for these images.

25/02/2026

A new exciting weekly meet-up! Come and sign up! First session is free. 😊

25/02/2026

A beautifully written reminder that we are all enough. To be read and re-read whenever doubt starts showing up.
Big thanks to the author, Becky Hemsley.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18PQNQvdum/

When you’ve just woken up and your hair is a mess,
It’s hard to get going, get up and get dressed
When nothing you do ever seems to impress
I promise that you are enough

When work gets you down and you're losing the will
'Cause it's like you're drowning while swimming uphill
When Friday arrives and you’ve been through the mill,
I promise that you are enough

When you look in the mirror and don’t like the view
And the voice in your head tries to change what is true
When you have forgotten it’s you being you
That means that you’re more than enough

Remember ‘enough’ isn't work without play
It’s not how you look, what you do, what you say
It’s not about moving a mountain each day
You don’t need to prove you’re enough

So don’t let your doubt set up home in your mind
I know that self-kindness is rarest to find
But, remember your worth’s not a bar or a line:
My darling, you’re always enough

And when laughter feels distant and tears start to fall
When silence feels heavy, your voice feels small
Just breathe, and just be and believe through it all
And tell yourself

“I am enough”

*****

A newer poem that isn't in any collection yet - but details of existing collections can be found on my website: beckyhemsley.com

Becky Hemsley 2025
Beautiful artwork by Karoline Kroiss