http://www.decisivecoachinguk.co.uk/

Decisive Coaching, Canterbury (2025)

19/11/2025

“5 Symptoms People Think Are ‘Random’ — And Why They’re Not.”🥸

19/11/2025

Here’s the truth almost no one has the guts to look at:

Your life isn’t a mess because of what happened to you.
Your life is a mess because you’re still living as the person you had to become to survive it.

That version of you —
the one built in fear, chaos, and uncertainty —
is the one still steering your adult life.

When you were a kid and you were dealing with a volatile parent,
a manipulative adult,
a bully who destroyed your confidence,
a family who acted like your feelings were irrelevant,
or a home where you were forced to behave like an emotional hostage…

…you didn’t just learn to cope.
You learned to contort.

You became whoever kept the peace.
Whoever stayed invisible.
Whoever absorbed the blow.
Whoever predicted danger fastest.
Whoever kept people happy enough not to turn on you.

You created a version of yourself built on fear, lies, suppression, and sacrifice.

And here’s the part you don’t want to admit:

You never stopped being that person.

You grew older — but you didn’t grow out of it.

You’re still terrified of honesty
because honesty used to get you punished.

You’re still allergic to conflict
because conflict meant emotional annihilation.

You’re still hiding your feelings
because you were trained to believe emotions made you weak, dramatic, or a burden.

You’re still pleasing everyone around you
because you learned early that love was conditional and approval was currency.

You’re still playing small
because standing out once made you a target.

And worst of all?

You’re still pointing at your past
so you don’t have to take responsibility for the patterns you keep choosing today.

Let’s cut the bu****it:

Your childhood didn’t chain you.
You chained yourself to the version of you that survived it.

You’re not “traumatised beyond repair.”
You’re just comfortable blaming the past so you never have to face the present.

You’re not “broken.”
You’re addicted to the identity you built when you had no power —
because it lets you avoid changing now that you do have power.

Every time you say:

“That’s just who I am.”
“This is just how I work.”
“I can’t change.”
“This happened to me, so what do you expect?”

…it’s not wisdom talking.
It’s fear.
It’s avoidance.
It’s the shadow version calling the shots because the adult version of you is too scared to take over.

You’re not cursed.
You’re not doomed.
You’re not destined to repeat the same cycles forever.

You’re just refusing to fire the child version of yourself
who’s been driving your life like it’s still a war zone.

If this feels harsh, good.
If you feel exposed, perfect.
If you feel defensive, that’s the part of you I’m talking to.

Because here’s the truth you can’t wiggle out of:

The moment you stop worshipping your past
and start taking ownership of your patterns,
your entire life changes.

Until then?

You’re not stuck.
You’re just repeating the same old story
because it’s easier than writing a new one.

More coming.
The stuff that hits you where your excuses live.

17/11/2025

Ever had that feeling that your symptoms mean something…
but no one has ever explained it in a way that actually makes sense?

That’s the side of health I’m interested in —
the human side.
The emotional side.
The psychological patterns behind the physical signals we call “symptoms.”

Because your body isn’t random.
Your symptoms aren’t random.
And your life experiences are connected to your biology in ways most people never see.

I share insights that bridge:
• practical psychology
• human behaviour
• emotional conflict patterns
• nervous system responses
• and the deeper meaning behind chronic symptoms

No fluff.
No fear.
Just clarity, understanding, and a completely different lens to see your health through.

If you’re curious about the other side of symptoms —
the deeper story your body has been trying to tell —
you’ll find my most in-depth daily posts over on my page.

⭐

16/11/2025

Kidney Symptoms — When Life Feels Too Heavy, Unfair or Too Much to Carry Alone

Before looking any deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: , stones, dehydration, medication effects, structural issues, or severe deficiencies. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, kidney symptoms often reflect something far more emotional.

The kidneys react strongly to pressure, fear and unfairness — not the everyday kind, but the heavy, internal kind people rarely talk about.

Kidney issues often show up when you’ve been carrying:

• responsibility that feels overwhelming
• pressure you never asked for
• financial stress or instability
• fear about the future
• emotional burdens that aren’t yours
• the feeling of being unsupported or alone
• a sense of being “dropped in the deep end”
• unfair treatment or sudden loss
• situations that feel too big to handle
• long-term internal stress you’ve normalised

It’s the body’s way of saying:

“This is too much for me to carry by myself.”

Kidney symptoms often appear during or after:

– relationship breakdowns
– major life shocks
– betrayal or abandonment
– feeling responsible for everyone
– sudden fear about survival or stability
– being left to cope alone
– losing support you relied on
– living in unpredictable environments
– ongoing emotional strain with no relief

Many people with kidney issues describe the same emotional theme:

“I had no choice. I just had to cope.”

The kidneys regulate balance —
not just water balance,
but emotional balance.

When life feels unstable, unfair, or overwhelming, the kidneys often express the weight you’ve been silently carrying.

Kidney symptoms aren’t random.
They’re often the physical imprint of emotional load that has been too heavy for too long.

Your body speaks the truth, even when you don’t feel able to.

16/11/2025

Tinnitus — The Noise You Never Got to Respond To

Before looking any deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: ear infections, hearing damage, medication effects, wax buildup, or anything structurally wrong. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, tinnitus often reflects something far more emotional and internal.

Tinnitus is often connected to unresolved tension or emotional noise that was never expressed or released.

It’s the body’s version of:

“There’s something I didn’t get to say… something I didn’t get to react to.”

Tinnitus tends to appear when you’ve been:

• holding in frustration or resentment
• dealing with criticism or harsh environments
• surrounded by conflict you couldn’t escape
• silencing your true reactions to keep the peace
• overwhelmed by other people’s demands or intensity
• living with unspoken worry, fear or anger
• bracing yourself around unpredictable people
• mentally replaying conversations or arguments
• carrying stress you haven’t voiced
• living with constant background anxiety or tension

People often notice the ringing becomes louder when:

– they feel emotionally overloaded
– they’ve been suppressing truth or anger
– someone is dominating or controlling
– they’re anticipating conflict
– they’re carrying internal pressure
– they’re around chaotic environments
– they’re avoiding a difficult conversation
– they’re overstimulated mentally or emotionally

And it tends to quieten when:

– they feel safe
– they feel heard
– they feel emotionally supported
– they finally express what’s been trapped inside

Tinnitus isn’t random.
It’s often an internal echo of unresolved emotional intensity — noise that didn’t get expressed at the time, and now has nowhere else to go.

Your body amplifies what your mind tries to silence.

16/11/2025

Thyroid Issues — When You Silence Yourself for Too Long

Before looking any deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: deficiencies, infections, hormonal imbalances, medication effects, or anything structurally wrong. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, thyroid symptoms often reflect something far more emotional.

The thyroid sits in the throat — the centre of expression, truth and communication.
So when you consistently silence yourself, the body often reacts in the same area.

Thyroid issues tend to show up when you’re:

• swallowing your words to avoid conflict
• hiding your real feelings
• keeping the peace instead of speaking up
• afraid of being judged, dismissed or misunderstood
• living a life that doesn’t match who you truly are
• carrying anger or frustration you never release
• feeling unseen, unheard or unappreciated
• suppressing your needs to protect others
• constantly monitoring your tone, behaviour or emotions
• holding back from expressing your identity

It’s the body’s way of saying:

“You’re not speaking your truth — so I’m expressing the strain for you.”

Thyroid symptoms often appear during:

– difficult relationships
– controlling environments
– workplaces where you can’t be honest
– breakups or emotional separation
– years of trying to be who others expect
– chronic people-pleasing
– childhoods where speaking up led to consequences
– moments where authenticity feels risky

Many people with thyroid symptoms describe a lifetime of:

• being polite instead of honest
• being agreeable instead of expressive
• being “nice” instead of real
• playing small to stay safe
• hiding their true voice
• feeling afraid to disappoint or upset others

Thyroid issues aren’t random.
They’re the body’s reflection of a voice that’s been held inside far too long.

Your body feels the truth even when you don’t speak it.

16/11/2025

Skin Conditions (eczema, psoriasis, rashes) — When Connection Feels Uncertain or Unstable

Before going deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: allergies, infections, irritants, deficiencies, or anything physically obvious. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, skin symptoms often reflect something far more emotional.

The skin is the body’s boundary — the place where you end and the world begins.
So when connection feels uncertain, unstable or threatened, the skin often reacts.

Skin flare-ups tend to show up when you’re:

• feeling rejected or pushed away
• longing for closeness but not receiving it
• feeling disconnected from someone important
• holding hurt from emotional distance
• dealing with tension or arguments
• feeling “left out” or overlooked
• wanting comfort or reassurance but not getting it
• navigating unpredictable relationships
• feeling exposed, criticised or judged
• struggling with separation or loss

It’s the body’s way of expressing:

“Something about connection doesn’t feel safe or secure right now.”

Many people notice that flare-ups worsen when:

– relationships feel strained
– someone pulls away
– they’re around emotionally cold or critical people
– they feel unseen or unappreciated
– they’re protecting themselves from getting hurt
– they’ve lost closeness with someone
– they’re afraid of being vulnerable

And flare-ups often ease when:

– they feel supported
– they feel connected
– they feel emotionally safe
– they’re around people who love them
– they’re being their true, authentic selves

Skin symptoms aren’t random.
They’re emotional communication through the body — the physical expression of feeling too separate, too exposed, or too disconnected.

Your skin responds to the truth beneath the surface.

16/11/2025

Parkinson’s / Tremors — When Your Body Has Held Fear and Tension for Too Long

Before exploring anything deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: neurological issues, medication effects, trauma, severe deficiencies, or anything structurally wrong. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, tremors often reflect something far more human and long-carried.

Tremors and shaking frequently come from a nervous system that has been bracing for years — sometimes decades.

It’s the physical expression of:

“I’ve been holding myself together for so long… I don’t know how to let go.”

People who experience tremors or Parkinson’s-type symptoms often share deep emotional patterns:

• long-term fear or insecurity
• growing up around unpredictability
• staying hyper-aware to avoid conflict
• suppressing fear to appear strong
• absorbing shock instead of expressing it
• coping silently with overwhelming situations
• fear of losing control
• tiptoeing around other people’s behaviour
• emotional suppression that became a habit
• years of internal panic behind a calm exterior

Tremors often appear after:

– prolonged emotional strain
– major life shocks
– unstable relationships
– a lifetime of “holding it together”
– growing up in unsafe environments
– never having permission to release emotion
– suppressing fear or anger
– living in survival mode for too long

The shaking isn’t weakness.
It’s not madness.
It’s not the body turning against you.

It’s the release of decades worth of tension that never had anywhere to go.

Your body remembers everything your mind had to bury.

16/11/2025

Fibromyalgia — The Body of Someone Who Has Carried Too Much for Too Long

Before going deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: injuries, infections, deficiencies, thyroid issues, toxic exposure, or anything physically obvious. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, fibromyalgia almost always reflects something far more human.

Fibromyalgia tends to show up in people who have spent years being:

• the strong one
• the responsible one
• the peacekeeper
• the emotional anchor
• the one who holds everything together
• the one who never gets to fall apart
• the one who looks after everyone else

It’s the body of someone who has carried invisible weight long before the symptoms ever appeared.

Fibromyalgia often follows periods of:

– prolonged emotional stress
– traumatic or chaotic relationships
– feeling unsupported while supporting others
– years of suppressing your own needs
– trying to stay strong for too long
– living in survival mode
– sudden overload on top of an already heavy load
– emotional exhaustion with no rest or release

People with fibro often describe childhoods or adult lives where they had to grow up too fast, take too much on, or be the “capable one” way before they ever felt ready.

It’s like the body eventually says:

“I’ve absorbed more than I can carry… and the weight is no longer invisible.”

Fibromyalgia is not weakness.
It’s not “all in your head.”
And it’s not a random malfunction.

It’s the body reflecting:

• unprocessed emotional strain
• years of over-adaptation
• tension held silently
• a nervous system stuck in overdrive
• responsibility that was never shared
• wounds that were never voiced
• pain that was carried privately

Fibro is often the physical expression of a life lived carrying too much — for too many — for far too long.

Your body isn’t failing you.
It’s finally telling the truth you’ve been holding in.

16/11/2025

Crohn’s / Colitis — When Life Feels Too Hard to Digest

Before looking any deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: intolerances, severe deficiencies, and anything structurally wrong in the digestive tract. These checks matter — but once they’re clear, Crohn’s and colitis often reveal something far more human beneath the surface.

The gut doesn’t just digest food.
It digests life.

Crohn’s and colitis frequently appear during periods when someone is dealing with situations that feel:

• unfair
• overwhelming
• aggressive or hostile
• emotionally “hard to swallow”
• unfamiliar and threatening
• deeply disappointing
• filled with tension or conflict
• too much to accept or process

It’s the biological equivalent of hearing a truth or experiencing an event that hits too deeply — something your system can’t quite “take in” without reacting.

People with Crohn’s/colitis often share similar emotional themes:

• feeling attacked or criticised
• absorbing other people’s hostility
• ongoing conflict with someone close
• struggling to accept something painful that happened
• betrayal or sudden loss
• living in an unpredictable environment
• feeling powerless or blindsided
• carrying fear or dread about what’s coming next

For many, symptoms flare during:

– difficult relationships
– family tension
– breakups
– financial stress
– unresolved arguments
– feeling unsafe or overwhelmed
– moments when they feel they have to “hold it together”
– emotional shock or disappointment

Your gut responds to emotional impact the way your mind responds to heartbreak — directly, immediately, and honestly.

Crohn’s and colitis aren’t random flare-ups.
They’re the physical expression of experiences that felt too harsh, too sudden, or too heavy to emotionally digest at the time.

Your digestive system often feels the truth before your thoughts do.

16/11/2025

Autoimmune Patterns — When Your Body Starts Fighting the Battles You Don’t Speak About

Before exploring anything deeper, it’s always important to rule out the basics: physical trauma, toxic exposure, infections, or severe nutrient deficiencies. These factors can influence how the body feels, but they’re very rarely the true source of long-term autoimmune patterns.

Once those are ruled out, many people discover something far more human underneath:

Autoimmune responses often mirror the emotional battles you’ve been fighting internally — the ones you never express, the ones you carry alone.

People who develop autoimmune patterns often share similar experiences:

• being overly hard on themselves
• carrying guilt, shame or self-blame
• putting everyone else first and ignoring their own needs
• suppressing anger because they fear conflict
• living with resentment that never gets voiced
• feeling unappreciated, unseen or dismissed
• trying to stay “strong” while falling apart inside
• perfectionism and fear of disappointing others
• constant internal conflict or self-criticism

It’s like the body says:
“If you won’t protect yourself… I will.”
But instead of defending you outwardly, the defence gets turned inwards.

Autoimmune patterns often appear in people who have spent years:

– fighting themselves
– judging themselves
– pushing through emotional pain
– rejecting their own needs
– trying to be the ‘good’ or ‘strong’ one
– carrying emotional wounds in silence

Not because they’re weak — and not because their body is failing — but because their biology has been caught in the middle of an emotional conflict for far too long.

Your immune system listens to your inner world.
When the self-attack softens, the body often follows.

Autoimmune symptoms aren’t “mystery illnesses.”
They’re the physical expression of emotional battles that were never allowed to be spoken.

16/11/2025

1.
Anxiety Symptoms — When Your Body Notices Truth Before Your Mind Admits It

Anxiety isn’t random, and it isn’t weakness. And yes — before looking any deeper, it’s important to rule out the basics: physical trauma, nutrient deficiencies, thyroid issues, infections, or toxic exposure (although for anxiety, these physical causes are very rarely the true source).

But once those are clear, anxiety often reflects something far more human:

Your body responding to a truth you haven’t acted on yet.

Anxiety tends to show up when you’re:

• living out of alignment with what you really want
• ignoring your intuition
• trying to keep peace at the cost of your authenticity
• saying “yes” while your whole body wants to say “no”
• staying quiet to avoid conflict
• pretending you’re fine when you’re exhausted
• around people who make you tense, unsure or unsafe
• carrying responsibilities you don’t feel ready for
• stuck in a situation your mind tolerates but your body rejects

It’s like your nervous system speaks before you do.
It senses the tension you avoid, the truth you suppress, the boundaries you’re afraid to set, and the situations that don’t feel right — even if you talk yourself out of noticing.

Anxiety is often your internal alarm saying:
“Something here isn’t right for me.”

Not a malfunction.
Not a defect.
But a message.

When you start listening to the parts of you that feel unheard, misunderstood, pressured or unsafe, the body often stops needing to shout.

Decisive Coaching

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