CBT Therapy Cumbria

23/12/2023

That’s me finished for Christmas and having some time off after a very busy year. Hope everyone has a lovely time over the festive period and even if this time of year isn’t your cup of tea just enjoy the time to relax.

Feliz Navidad 🎄

22/12/2023

in my experience a lack of understanding creates fear….hence why people try to worry hypothetical problems away by guessing and attempting to solve something that has yet to happen. Often a person will fear something they have no control over or something that has an uncertain outcome that they believe may be bad or negative. In reality, we control very little and worrying serves no purpose at all. In an attempt to avoid bad things happening or create an illusion of control people worry (guess) with little evidence which leads to an emotion such as anxiety which leads to avoidance.

If you cannot control the outcome do not worry as you will handle it if it ever does happen.

Two questions to ask yourself…:

1. Can I do anything to influence this outcome (be honest there probably isn’t regardless of how you spin it).

2. If there is something you can do about it ( in your opinion ) then you should do it now. If you find yourself waiting for your “time” then the problem actually isn’t in the present and your still engaging in some form of hypothetical worry

Embrace the unknown…you do when you believe/think it will be positive..:the only difference is the spin you put on it

21/12/2023

15/12/2023

you are more than what has happened to you but you are certainly stronger than those challenging times you overcame. You may fear the next worst thing or struggle to let go of what’s happened…only because you want to make sense of it so you can protect yourself from it again. You are far stronger, resilient and competent than you give yourself credit for. Keep going…you have a 100% track record of over coming your worst times..your still here

10/12/2023

Christmas 2023 🎄🎅🎁 may you spend it with those you love and enjoy yourselves 😊

08/12/2023

these are 3 things I work with people on regularly.

Intolerance of Uncertainty: where a person can’t tolerate the unknown which leads to guessing, overthinking, worrying etc as they try to predict what might happen. Unintentionally they often arrive at the worst case scenario stop triggering their flight or fight response (anxiety) time and again.

Perfectionism: a belief they can’t make a mistake, upset anyone, fail at anything etc. often the person does not believe they are loveable, good enough, seen or heard unless they perform or deliver a certain version of themselves I.e perfection/ideal self. A mistake or failure is feared in case that is how they are seen or believed to be.
Over-responsibility: assuming they have to protect others physically, emotionally or stop them from experiencing anything negative. If they can’t do this they often feel guilt and shame for “failing”. The driving factor is they take responsibility as it gives certainty, illusion of control and sometimes an answer to work with. For others they get a sense of validation from helping or protecting others that they know no other way to get.

One of the three generally appears in any patient accessing therapy, so have two and others have all 3. They are generally at the core of a persons presentation/problems which need addressed for a decent therapeutic outcome.

04/12/2023

Today’s set up in a wet and windy North East.

New week. New patients. New challenges. Let’s get some results

01/12/2023

sometimes therapy is perceived to be something it’s not and that as a therapist you know everything and essentially have the answer to everything. We don’t.

Therapy is a process a person engages with and goes through difficult emotions, memories and thoughts during the journey. As a therapist we facilitate and support along the way, helping you find the answers and heal what needs to be healed.

If we could wave a magic wand we would so people felt better but in reality we go on the journey with you and are invested in helping you reach your overall goals. We aren’t here to fix you, tell you what to do or give you answers. We help you learn, explore and understand so you become your own therapist in the end.

One thing we will do is go to the scary place with you. This is often the difficult topics, the pain, the trauma and ultimately the part want to avoid because it’s uncomfortable and difficult. We go each step so you feel supported and so you are not alone, helping you face it and work on it.

As a therapist I do this 25 plus times a week and won’t allow you to give up on yourself when I can see the strength in you

24/11/2023

The simplest of today

17/11/2023

For many people worrying is a distressing activity. The distress it causes stems from a number of factors ; worrying can often seem uncontrollable: we can’t stop it starting, it seems to make our worries worse rather than better, and we can’t seem to switch it off. Most chronic or pathological worrying occurs while we’re in a negative mood. We may be stressed, anxious, sad, tired, in pain … or even hung over! That negative mood has a lot to answer for. It contributes to perseverant worrying in a number of different ways and helps to make our worry seem uncontrollable. Those individuals with an intolerance of uncertainty will spend much of their time fruitlessly worrying about how to acquire that unobtainable state of certainty. One activity that is regularly associated with anxiety is chronic worrying. Indeed, one anxiety disorder - called generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) - has pathological and uncontrollable worry as its cardinal diagnostic feature. So do those with a diagnosis of GAD really have so much to worry about? Probably not. But what such individuals do possess is a set of beliefs that worrying is a necessary and important thing to do—otherwise bad things will happen. This results in the need to worry even about the smallest potential problem —and rough estimates suggest that around 90% of what the chronic worrier worries about is never likely to happen anyway!

10/11/2023

One thing I think we all understand estimate is the story of other people..what they’ve seen, what they’ve experienced and what they have overcome. I know in my line of work literally anyone can come in and you hear their stories…the pain, the fear but most importantly the courage.

Some barely mention or even acknowledge what they have been through so they get no support for it and face it alone. Some people even judge themselves by minimising what they have went through or struggle with…”others have it worse” mindset, completely invalidating themselves or not feeling important enough to have their own needs acknowledged.

A lot of people have had to rebuild in silence, keep their head down and just keep going. Some do this even whilst others judge and give opinion.

In reality none of us really ever know what another person is going through so we should never judge or dismiss them.