24/12/2025
I notice how much I minimise pain.
Not because it is not there,
but because it is invisible,
and explaining can feel exhausting.
I notice how much energy the basics take.
Showering. Housework.
The privilege of parenting, running a home and business,
with the added layer of Christmas, feels like a lot.
All of these things cost more energy
than you might realise.
Often it is a choice between one thing or another,
and adjusting expectations.
I notice how conflicted I can feel about rest,
as the guilt of slowing down creeps in.
How isolating it can be.
I can’t ‘keep up’ like I used to.
Sometimes I know there is no point explaining
why I can’t make certain plans,
because it would require a level of self awareness
the other person does not have.
The quiet grief of who I was before.
Not dramatic anymore.
I have done a lot of work holding compassion for all parts of me,
but I still feel the loss of how much easier things once were,
before renegotiating what “enough” means.
Carrying shame for things outside my control.
Cancelling plans.
Avoiding making plans.
Needing help.
Saying no.
It has taken a lot of self compassion
to learn how to advocate,
ask for help,
say no,
and change how I live and work.
It’s not neat or perfect.
I still push further than is comfortable
and experience flare ups
when expectations and life override capacity.
What matters is coming back to self compassion,
finding joy in the little things,
and the right tools that help you manage,
while allowing expectations to soften.
Complementary therapies feature highly for me.
They have helped support my nervous system,
manage inflammation,
and listen to my body with more kindness and less urgency.
If you live with chronic conditions,
you are not exaggerating.
You are not weak.
You are not doing life wrong.
We live in a world that glorifies productivity and output,
with unrealistic expectations for anyone,
especially those with chronic illness.
Let Christmas look like pacing family gatherings,
making gentler traditions,
saying no to parties,
PJ days,
and adjusting expectations.
All of this is valid.
You are enough.❤️
Link in bio if you are looking for chronic illness informed care.
