Harley Life Therapies

22/04/2025

Clients often ask me what qualifications I have to my name.

Whilst my degree has no link whatsoever to the world of psychotherapy and coaching, the majority of my subsequent qualifications do. My journey to qualify as a therapist and a life/ business coach started approximately 20 years ago and saw me completing those initial studies 17 years ago.

After obtaining a number of years of face to face client experience, I returned to the classroom in 2016 to gain qualifications in specialist areas. This included, but is not limited to becoming a Psychosexual (S*x) & Relationship Therapist and also a Clinical & Training Supervisor.

I love to learn so am currently wondering what training course will come next...

22/01/2025

My website is currently down due to a technical issue, which I am working on. I hope to have it back up and running very soon.

Thank you for your patience.

10/10/2024

Today is World Mental Health Day.

I feel so very passionate about mental health and wellbeing. Having worked in this sector for many years now, it is a relief to see the stigma around any psychological therapy, dimishing. People are less fearful of seeking out support for their mental health and less ashamed about admitting it too. We do, however, still have a long way to go before we are anywhere near where we need to be within society.

Let's talk comfortably about mental health, emotions, feelings, struggles, anxiety, depression, etc. in the same way that we talk about physical fitness, exercise, sleep and diet. One does not trump the other; the two go hand in hand.

Today is all about mental health. It is about checking in on the people around you. You just never know who may be struggling silently. It is about checking in on yourself and how you are feeling, knowing it is okay not to be okay. It is about seeking support from family/ friends/ professionals and not being afraid to do so.

My hope is that mental health is not just referred to or talked about on social media, for just one day in the year but instead it is at the forefront of people's minds.

So, how are you?

07/10/2024

I have been a psychotherapist for many years now. In that time, I have noticed how often people have a preconceived idea of what therapy will be like.

Frequently, for those who are embarking on therapy for the first time, there is an idea, an expectation or an anecdotal story which can present the wrong idea of what does actually happen in the therapy room.

As your therapist, I will not try to fix you, tell you what to do, give you advice, make assumptions about you or have all the answers.

As your therapist, I will be there to support you through the hard stuff, to provide you with a safe space so that you can find/ be yourself and speak without fear of judgement. I will listen and be open. I will work with you, alongside you, around whatever it is that brought you to me in the first place. I will underline the fact that you are not broken (should that be how you feel) and that you actually already have the answers inside.

It is all about the therapeutic relationship. Without that, the work is unable to progress.

If you are interested in finding out more about how talking therapy works (or in fact any of the other therapies and services that I offer), please contact me.

04/09/2024

September is the reminder that summer is almost over and autumn is on its way.
Change.

For many it is the start of a new school/ college/ university year.
Change.

New teacher/ tutor/ peer group/ location.
Change.

The darker mornings are creeping in, the darker evenings are too.
Change.

There are also changes afoot for me. From the 1st October, I am saying farewell to Billericay and I will only be seeing clients face to face in Chelmsford.

This change has given me the chance to take stock of my private practice and make some changes to my social media, my website and my Therapeutic Agreement. Nothing too drastic, however changes nonetheless.

What changes are happening in your life? How are they impacting you?

Change can sometimes be tough to navigate and can bring up all sorts of uncertainty and emotion.

If you need any support around this, I currently have some weekday, daytime availability. Drop me a DM or give me a call to discuss further.

05/07/2024

Have you seen Inside Out 2 yet? If not, I highly recommend it.

I loved the first one. The way they made each feeling come to life, was so very clever. With this second one, they deal with puberty and all of the additional emotions that come as a part of that tumultuous period in life.

There are a few key messages in this second film:
▪︎ as we get older, do we lose our joy?
▪︎ wherever sadness goes, so does joy
▪︎ we are a mix of all of our emotions, not only the positive ones - and that is okay. They make us who we are

For anyone who suffers from anxiety, I think you will appreciate this character in the film. The creators have handled it so brilliantly.

The overarching message is that whatever you feel, it is okay, even if the feeling is a negative one.

I often say to my clients to sit with their feelings and emotions, work through them, get them out, talk about them, let them pass. Squishing them into a box in the hope they will go away, rarely works, if ever. They just leak out somewhere else.

It really is okay to feel what you need to feel.

Whatever plans you have, have a great weekend.

01/06/2024

This is a great organisation that does a lot of good work.

Nobody deserves to experience any level of domestic abuse, not even under the guise of "love".

There is help and support out there, whether it is through therapists like myself, or organisations like Changing Pathways - so please do reach out, even if it is just to have a safe space to talk.

Love is Love, no one deserves a controlling or abusive relationship
Everyone is welcome to our support services
Changing Pathways 01268 729707
Essex COMPASS 0330 333 7 444

22/05/2024

As a member of the College of S*x and Relationship Therapists (COSRT), I have to abide by their professional standards.

Each year I have to declare/ confirm that I have had the correct amount of Clinical Supervision (at least 1.5 hours per month), the correct amount of Continuing Professional Development (CPD) (at least 30 hours of training and high percentage of that must be psychosexual), have the correct client Therapeutic Agreement in place and the correct level of Indemnity Insurance.

Each year, COSRT randomly selects a percentage of their members for audit. This year it was my turn. This week I have spent a few hours collating all of my evidence from 2023, to send off to COSRT.

I have just heard back to say I have passed the audit. Very good news for a Wednesday 🎉

The work I do as a therapist, is not just client-facing. There is a whole raft of stuff I also do behind the scenes to ensure I am the best possible therapist that I can be.

Hope your week is going well 🙏

15/04/2024

We go into trance every day; that moment when we are not quite awake or asleep, when we go into autopilot whilst doing something, or when we daydream. These are all trance states.

In talking therapies, the therapist speaks to the conscious part of the mind. With Hypnosis, this part is bypassed and the therapy is done with the unconscious mind.

Hypnosis can be used for so many things including, but not limited to, habits, anxiety, anger, overthinking, stress, relaxation, trauma, memory, smoking cessation, weight loss, unresolved childhood issues.

All Hypnosis is self Hypnosis and is the most natural state of mind that we can be in.

If you would like to try Hypnosis, please get in touch via DM/ email/ Whatsapp/ text. Sessions are face to face only, so please be able to get to either Chelmsford or Billericay.

04/01/2024

A very Happy New Year everyone.

In research carried out in 2023, it was estimated that 80% of the UK population made new year's resolutions. By about the 10th January, 32% had abandoned them.

I have seen lots of posts on social media talking about new starts and life changes that people want to make at the start of 2024. This got me thinking.

Why does a new year give people that light bulb moment regarding changes to their lives?
What stops people making these changes throughout the year?
What is it about the new year that inspires people to make resolutions, change habits, get fitter, be healthier, make life/ relationship changes?

Often the aims and goals that are created, are unrealistic and unachievable, which sets people up to simply fail. It is a lot of pressure, all at once and it is no wonder diets fall by the wayside, gyms that are full in January, are much quieter by March, relationships continue in the unhappy and unhealthy way they have been and people's mental health either deteriorates or remains in a negative place.

Through the work I do both therapeutically and from a coaching perspective, I encourage my clients to be mindful of the things they want to change in their lives and act on those in the present, instead of waiting.

We cannot change the past or the future. What we can do is make changes and influence the present. Read those last two sentences again...

24/12/2023

Whilst many people are in the midst of celebrating and enjoying Christmas, there are just as many struggling for any number of reasons. Christmas and New Year can be an incredibly lonely, isolating and frightening time of year.

If you are struggling, feeling alone and in need of support, there is always someone who will listen over the festive period:

1). Mind Helpline 0300 123 3393
www.mind.org.uk

2). Samaritans Helpline 116 123
(24/7)
www.samaritans.org

3). Shout Text Service
(24/7)
Text SHOUT to 85258

4). CALM
Helpline for men 0800 58 58 58
www.thecalmzone.net

20/12/2023

I do not often receive feedback from my clients once our therapeutic relationship has ended, so to receive the following, was a lovely surprise.

I have the client's full permission to use this, albeit anonymously, and I have removed some of the feedback in order to protect identities.

"(...) the last two years generally have probably been my most challenging (...) and your help in getting through it was invaluable.

Your combination of being direct and to the point, non-judgemental and often just simplifying things that I was overcomplicating gave me some real moments of clarity that stuck and made a difference. I felt like you understood me better than any other therapist I've worked with, and in much shorter time.

So yes, just a massive thank you for your help (...)"