05/03/2026
This is one of those moments that can feel confusing, frustrating, and even a little rejecting as a parent.
When a child says “I don’t want to go,” it can look like defiance… avoidance… or simply being difficult. But underneath that behaviour is often something much more vulnerable. It’s not about refusing — it’s about not coping.
For many children, especially those who experience anxiety, sensory overwhelm, or emotional dysregulation, everyday expectations can suddenly feel too big. School, social events, transitions, even leaving the house can trigger a stress response in the brain.
And this is where it’s important to understand the fight response.
When a child’s brain perceives something as too much, it shifts into protection mode. Sometimes that looks like shouting, arguing, refusing, or pushing back. Not because they won’t… but because, in that moment, they genuinely feel like they can’t.
When we reframe “I don’t want to go” as “this feels too big for me right now,” it changes how we respond. Instead of pushing harder, we can support, scaffold, and co-regulate.
If this resonates, it’s often a sign to look beneath the behaviour and ask:
What feels overwhelming here?
What support does my child need to feel safe enough to try?
