27/04/2024
Before I became a mummy I was full of energy, light, vibrancy, passion, compassion and adventure. I was slim, loved fitness DVDs (remember those?!), and loved to go "out out" dancing with my friends.
And then, I became a mother.
Right from the early stages of my pregnancy, I started to feel very dark. I felt a strange constriction in my chest, feelings of overwhelm and "impending doom" (a term I didn't really understand when I was at uni learning about depression as a student midwife).
I ignored it.
Fast forward to when my first born was 6 weeks old...I lost my mind completely.Β I felt like the essence and soul that made me "me" had be torn out. I couldn't make decisions, I couldn't sleep, I thought of death all the time, and I was petrified of my baby.
With the help of some seriously strong antipsychotic medication, mental health support, time, love from my friends and family etc I got better.
During my second pregnancy, I identified the symptoms earlier and got help. Isn't it amazing how your darkest times light a way for the future?
So, why is there a picture of me in gym gear?
A prayer to God, was to get back to my pre-pregnancy figure. Not for vain reasons but to embrace the fun, vibrant, sexy Sam again. To claim "me" back. Weight is not just about the number on the scales (I don't even own any!). For me it's a feeling.
This picture was taken when I got home from a network marketing celebration and motivation day. I bought the clothes there as i wanted to get back into moving my body again as I don't do it any more!
This network marketing brand has given me the gift of "me" again. Its full of fun, health, support, generosity and life! The THRIVE programme was an answered prayer. I will be forever grateful.
I'm celebrating me today because I don't think it's bragging. When we get a compliment we should say "thank you".
What are you celebrating today?
If anyone is feeling a connection to what I have shared please get in touch. If you are struggling with mental health symptoms please seek professional support. Don't ignore it like I did π