19/02/2026
Grief, Letting Go, and the Role of the Colon.
After several years of declining health, my father passed away on January 17th. It has been an unprecedented, somewhat surreal period of time to pass through, but I already feel the worst is behind me, and it is actually a relief for us both.
Whilst it may seem unconnected, grief and the gut are directly linked, and I will try to explain how, if you'll indulge me.
Grief is not an emotion in the way we usually think of emotions.
It is not something to be “worked through” cognitively, nor something that reliably follows stages or timelines. Grief is a process - a movement - and like all processes in the body, it needs a beginning, a middle, and an end.
This is where the gut quietly enters the conversation.
The bowel is the organ of completion. It is where what is no longer needed is separated, processed, and released. Not forcefully. Not symbolically. But practically, rhythmically, and truthfully. When bowel function is compromised, sluggish, irritable, or overly urgent, it is rarely just about food. It is often about something unfinished.
I have seen this repeatedly over the years: people navigating grief - not always obvious or recent - frequently experience disruption in bowel function. Constipation, diarrhoea, bloating, IBS-type symptoms. The body quite literally struggling to let go or to contain what is moving through.
This isn’t metaphor layered on top of physiology. It is physiology.
The gut is the primary interface between our inner and outer worlds. It decides what is “self” and what is “not self”. In times of loss, that boundary is disturbed. Something that was part of our internal landscape - a person, a role, an identity, a future - is suddenly no longer there. The nervous system registers this long before the mind makes sense of it.
Grief that is not consciously felt is not absent. It is simply carried elsewhere.
Sometimes it lives in vigilance.
Sometimes in fatigue.
And very often, it lives in the bowel.
What I find most interesting is that relief does not always come through talking about grief. For many people, it comes through restoring the body’s capacity to process and complete. When the gut is supported - gently, respectfully - emotional movement often follows without being summoned.
Then sometimes the tears come later.
Insights arrive from the side.
Relief shows up quietly.
This is why I don’t see bowel health as a lifestyle upgrade. I see it as an intelligence. One that understands timing. One that knows when something has been digested enough. One that refuses to be rushed by the mind.
Grief does not need fixing.
The body does not need instruction.
But both need space to complete what they already know how to do.
If you are in a season of loss - obvious or subtle - and your gut is speaking more loudly than usual, it may not be asking for discipline or control. It may simply be asking for permission to finish something that has been waiting a long time.
Sometimes the most profound emotional work happens below the waist.
And because I know this deep in my soul, I have been able to process through my grief quite comfortably and I sit now in the phase of completion integration.
It is a peaceful, gentle place, and all is well 🙏💕 xx
