The Wisdom of Women

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The Wisdom of Women

Hi, I'm Judith and I am passionate about championing older women. Sign up for the Wiser Way newsletter. Hello to all you wise women out there. Judith xx

I run the Ancient Wisdom of Women a resource for women in midlife to help them connect with their wisdom to love themselves and their life. Let me introduce myself. I am Judith and I am a writer, clinical hypnotherapist, folk herbalist, mythologist, and wise woman. I am passionate about helping women of menopause age feel powerful and positive about themselves and their place in the world. The Anc

ient Wisdom of Women came about through my journey to menopause and all the upheaval that came with it. I had already been working with women at The Menopause Expert which uses hypnotherapy NLP and other complementary treatments to help women have the best experience they can leading up to the menopause. But I found that as well as the physical discomfort there were emotional and spiritual issues as well. With this insight I wanted to take a holistic approach to menopause relief that encompasses all these needs, not just menopause symptoms. The hormone fluctuations that occur in the run up to menopause cause all sorts of turmoil. Hot flushes, anxiety, sleepless nights and many other delightful symptoms, but they also make us question where we want our lives to go and who we are. I have called it the Ancient Wisdom of Women as in the past women are honoured and revered as wise elders when they reach menopause. I believe that as women we must reclaim our power and status as wise elders as we grow older. I think that as we get older we should explore the possibilities, not focus on the limitation of growing wiser. This wisdom is gained from our experiences that includes our failures as well as our successes, as well as the questions we have asked and the choices we have made in our lives. They all make us the person we are now. This wisdom should not be taken for granted you do not just become wise and that is it. It is a constant journey – part of that wisdom is knowing that we are always learning. I hope you will join me on this journey to reclaiming the Ancient Wisdom of Women. Take a look at my website and join my mailing list to find out more about how you can grow older, your way.

19/11/2024

The Power of Forgiveness - It's not about them, it is about you!
I was on holiday in Uzbekistan last month and visited many mosques and mausoleums. I'm not really a fan of religion, they are usually at the heart of patriarchy and the oppression of women. But while we were visiting the necropolis of Shah-i-Zinda our guide quoted from the Quran about forgiveness. I can't remember the quote, but I remember being quite moved. Especially when I went into a room where an Iman was singing. It moved me to tears.

This experience made me think about who I need to forgive. I used to think that forgiving someone for upsetting or hurting you was all about making them feel better. But now I realise it is all about yourself. You don't even have to let that other person know you have forgiven them, especially handy if they are dead! But you do have to mean it from the bottom of your heart.

The feeling of release when you accomplish this can be truly cathartic.
It is easy to demonise someone you think has wronged you and see them as a villain. Forgiveness allows you to view them as human beings, even when it's hard. To see their flaws and acknowledge they're going through their own difficulties, like everyone else. Most people are not out to harm others. It happens, whether through selfishness, misunderstanding, or simply carelessness. We've all likely done something that has hurt someone, probably on more than one occasion.

By holding onto bitterness and hate the person you hurt most is yourself.

Ironically, forgiving yourself can be the hardest to do. But we, too, are only human with our flaws and we make mistakes. That is how we learn.

I am learning how to forgive myself for the things I have done that I am ashamed of or regret. But mostly I am working on forgiving myself for not being perfect.

Who do you need to forgive?

08/08/2024

Its international cat day today. To celebrate I decided to flea mine. They were over the moon about it as you can imagine! A handful of Dreamies helped soothed ruffled fur and now they have forgiven me.

Happy international cat day everyone. Here is a picture of my two mogs.

16/07/2024

I have been feeling sorry for myself these last few weeks. Life has felt hard and I haven’t been able to do the things I wanted to do, such as write to you.

My foot hasn’t been recovering as quickly as I would have liked, my Mum fell over and was in hospital for 4 weeks (she is home now and recovering well, thankfully), then I had a cold and to top it off, every time I have plans to do something, it rains!

Boo Hoo, me!

But, when I put everything into perspective, I see that all this is just part of life. I have been through much worse and will probably go through worse again. And that is ok. I know I can deal with it, just as I have before.

The same is probably true for you. There will always be ups and downs in our lives. And these will be unique to us. No one will experience life the same way you do. The fact that other people have suffered far worse that you doesn’t lessen the impact your pain has on your life.

It is ok to feel sorry for yourself now and then. Then you pick yourself up and get on with it. That is what I am doing now.

Because only by accepting your emotions can you heal and grow.

For anyone in need of a pick-me-up, here is a picture of kittens in a basket.

10/06/2024

Unlock my Special Gift in the Best Summer Bundle Ever

I’m thrilled to share some exciting news with you! I’ve been given the incredible opportunity to be a part of the Best Summer Ever Bundle, curated by my friend and host, Faith Mariah. This bundle is a collection of high-value, FREE resources from inspiring small business owners (including me!), available only until June 14.
It means so much to me to be included in this amazing bundle because it aligns perfectly with my mission to help as many women as possible fulfil their potential in midlife and beyond. I’m excited about the chance to reach more people and make a positive impact with my contribution.

This bundle is packed with valuable tools and resources designed to help you make the most of your summer, whether you’re focusing on personal development, business growth, creativity, or family activities. And the best part? It’s completely free, but only for a very limited time, between the 10th and 13th of June.

I’m excited to offer you my Working with Archetypes in Midlife course. I created this resource to help you navigate so you can discover the power of archetypes for women in midlife. This is usually £39, but right now, you can grab it for free inside the Summer Bundle!

Click on the link below in the comments to grab your Best Summer Ever Bundle before it’s too late.

Let’s make this summer your best one yet!

Judith

29/05/2024

I have started writing a new blog post on ageing as a woman and would like to know how you feel about growing older. It is a tricky subject. No one wants to get old, but as long as we are alive, we are getting older.

For me, my major worry is not being fit and healthy. I can't say I love all my wrinkles but see them as proof of a life well lived. The dry skin can be annoying, especially in intimate places! I find a get distracted if I try to have more than one thought in my head. But on the whole, I'm doing ok.

What I am positive about is how I feel about myself. Personally, I like myself and consider myself to be a good person. I am surrounded by amazing individuals who bring joy to my life, and fortunately, I am in good physical condition.

After a quick survey on the internet, here are the main issues I found that worry women in midlife about getting older:

• Being alone
• Not having enough money
• Losing their looks
• Becoming infirm mentally or physically
• Being invisible
• Losing loved ones

What is it you fear about ageing? Is it your health, social circle, or something else?

Drop me a line as I would love to hear about how you feel about growing older.

27/05/2024

It’s another bank holiday and rather than brave the traffic or the weather I am having a slobbing day! I’m sat here in my scruffy tracky bottoms and an old jumper. Unbrushed hair and no makeup.

Does it matter? Do I care if anyone sees me?

It doesn’t matter if I am spending the day around the house and in the garden. But if I am going out and about then a certain amount of vanity kicks in and I will smarten myself up.

What does everyone else think? Do you care about being seen looking scruffy or are you always looking good?

07/05/2024

Hurray! Spring is finally here.

It has taken a while, but the sun has been shining for more than one day now. The birds are singing and my garden is getting very overgrown. Not only that, but my foot is just about recovered and I can do things again. I am feeling positive for the first time in a while and busy getting on with life. I have been creating new courses and doing more writing.

More news on that soon. But now it is time to enjoy the sun -along with Trixie.

26/04/2024

On Saturday, I will be 60 years old.

While in reality it's just another year, every birthday with a nought on it is significant. As a result, I have chosen to share with you a few of the insights I have gained so far on my journey. One of those is the realisation that it's finally time to stop procrastinating and start implementing the ideas I've been contemplating for the past year.

So, in this email, I will outline a couple of ways I would like to contribute to my community and make a positive impact.

I am taking the time this week to think about what I want to achieve in the next decade. Not just the basics like good health and financial stability, but also the intangible aspects that give my life purpose and satisfaction, and the imprint I wish to leave on the world.

A sad truth about getting older is witnessing the passing of those in your circle. Whether it is the sight of someone who has lived a long and fulfilling life or the unexpected encounter with death in someone younger than me, it is undeniably difficult.

Over the last few years, I have faced the heartbreaking reality of losing multiple friends, while also grappling with and the news of another's terminal illness.
This is part of the reason I have decided to train as a death midwife or doula. This will be my way of giving back to my community by volunteering to help those who are terminally ill come to terms with dying. I know this sounds a little depressing or melancholy, but death is something that will come to all of us eventually and not always when we were expecting or ready for it.

The other way is to start a women's circle in my area. I want it to be a space where we can openly discuss our feelings and emotions about the experience of growing older.
Is there something you have been thinking about doing for while now?

If so, why haven't you done it?
What are you waiting for?
Start it now. Set a date and do it.

If you want a someone to share it with and to gee you along, we could support each other.
Send me a message if you need a buddy.

18/04/2024

I have a significant birthday coming up next weekend. I will be 60 years old. How on earth did that happen? That number sounds really old to me and scary. Then I think about all the people I know who have passed their 60th birthday. They don't seem old and they are certainly still enjoying life and having fun. I don't feel old either, even though I have spent the last few weeks with my feet up after an operation.

But I am doing my best to embrace it and using it as an excuse for a party, where some of my friends will be younger and some will be older, which is how it should be. Even so, it is a little scary. Am I now in my senior years? That makes me feel really old, although I will get free prescriptions and can purchase a senior railcard. Ooooh, how exciting!

I am also looking back on my life and all the things that I have done and not done
I realise if I want to be in good shape and maintain my health as I grow older; I need to take better care of my body. Also, there are many things I still want to do. Places I want to visit, people I want to see more of courses I want to create, subjects I want to write about and business goals yet fulfilled. So, if I am going to achieve these goals, I need to get a move on.

Growing older isn't just about bucket lists and keeping in shape. It has spiritual dimensions, too. While I don't like the idea of being ‘senior', I do welcome being an elder. For me, that involves inner work on myself, acceptance and self-awareness, and sharing my wisdom and experiences with those that I can help.

Are there things you want to achieve before your next big birthday or after it?

09/04/2024

Keeping myself busy after my foot operation.

12/03/2024

How do you usually decide what to wear?

Is it to feel comfortable, professional or to look good? Do you care what other people think about what you wear? Most of us do. But Iris Apfel dressed for joy and didn't give a toss about what anyone else thought.

Iris Apfel died at the beginning of this month, aged 101. She was a true icon who inspired many women, and some men, to embrace colourful and flamboyant clothing. People have described her as the woman who turned growing old disgracefully into high art. For me, she is the woman who showed me that when you get older; you don't have to fade into the background. Instead, you have the freedom to be audacious, irreverent, and completely out of the ordinary.

My relationship with clothes has been mixed. When I was in my teens and early 20s, I loved getting dressed up, putting on makeup and going out on the town. As it was the 80s, it was a wild time. I was a punk, a Goth, and a Futurist (not a New Romantic, too many frills!) I bought clothes in charity shops, flea markets and jumble sales and the occasional clothes shop. Yes, I wore the obligatory black but also dressed in lots of colour. It was such fun, and I loved it.

Then, as I got older and work and life got in the way, my relationship with clothes changed. What I wore very much depended on how I felt about my body and myself.
I have moved away from that now. But mostly I wear clothes that make me feel good about myself. I have a rule when I go shopping. If I don't think 'Wow!' when I try it on. Then I don't buy it. That has stopped me from wasting money on so many things. Seeing women like Iris rocking her outfits and embrace their unique styles has sparked a desire in me to be more experimental with my wardrobe.

Although today I have a cold and am wearing sloppy tracksuit bottoms, unwashed hair and a red, runny nose and am hoping no one comes to the door!

If you have no intention of growing old gracefully, then you need to read my Blog Post on Growing old Disgracefully.

08/03/2024

Happy International Women's Day

Today, I want to thank all the fantastic women in my life. Here are just a few of them.

To my mother, whose unconditional love and support have nurtured me and taught me to be strong and independent.

My sister, my best friend. We may have had our differences and many a fallout, but when it comes down to it, we have always been there for each other.

My cousins, who never lived conventional lives, showing me that I didn't have to either.

My close friends, who have been there for me when my life turned to s**t, and I needed a shoulder to cry on.

To the friends I visit museums and art galleries with, go walking, or meet up with for long chats over dinner and not forgetting my drinking buddies.

To old friends whom I haven't seen for years and then bump into it as if we have never been apart.

To the woman who mentored me and encouraged me to move out of my comfort zone and try new things.

And to the many women who have entered my life, sometimes only briefly, but still profoundly impacted me.

They are not perfect, but neither am I. But each is special in her own way and has inspired me and helped me become the person I am today.

The wonderful thing is that you are probably on someone else's list of amazing women.

How many awesome women do you know?

I would love to hear about the amazing women you know who have enriched your life.

Address

Clevedon

Website

http://www.judithstafford.com/

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