11/01/2026
When a traumatic experience happens, the nervous system records not just the memory, but the age-specific emotional state, beliefs, and survival strategies you had at that time.
Later in life, when something resembles that original situation (a tone of voice, rejection, conflict, feeling trapped), your brain reacts as if the danger is happening now—and it temporarily pulls you back into that younger state.
So you may:
Feel small, helpless, or overwhelmed
React impulsively, defensively, or with intense emotion
Lose access to adult reasoning or language
Crave safety, reassurance, or escape
This isn’t immaturity. It’s the nervous system doing its job too well.
Why it happens
Trauma lives largely in the implicit (nonverbal) memory system, not the logical one. When triggered:
The survival brain takes over
The thinking brain goes partially offline
You respond using the tools you had at the age the wound formed
That’s why a capable adult can suddenly feel like a scared child, an angry teen, or a frozen adolescent.
A helpful reframe
Instead of thinking “Why am I acting like this?”, try:
“A younger part of me is trying to protect me.”
That shift reduces shame and increases regulation.
What helps in the moment
Orient to the present: name your age, location, date
Ground the body: feet on the floor, slow exhale, temperature change
Use adult language internally: “I’m safe now. I have choices.”
Afterward: get curious, not critical — How old did I feel? What did I need then?
Long-term healing
Trauma work often involves:
Building safety in the body first
Learning to recognize triggers earlier
“Re-parenting” those younger parts with consistency and compassion
Gradually integrating the memory so it no longer hijacks the present.
