Samantha Lapping Therapist

22/11/2025

Let’s talk about discomfort in relationships…

We all want love to feel good all the time. But real connection? It’s messy. It stirs things up. And sometimes, that discomfort isn’t a sign something’s wrong. It’s a sign you’re growing.

18/11/2025

What I witness in the therapy room is the shift…
Clients come in experiencing overwhelm, overthinking, shutting down, the armour that’s grown heavy.
The shift is the moment they say something out loud that they’ve never admitted to themselves. The pause when they realise a thought they’ve carried for years isn’t actually true. The softening when they feel understood rather than judged.

It’s subtle. Micro moments. But they’re the ones that change everything.
Clients often arrive feeling tangled, unsure, stretched thin. They leave with a clearer sense of themselves, a bit more space inside, and a steadier way of meeting whatever life throws next.

It’s when their voice stops shaking. Or when it does shake, but they keep talking anyway.
It’s when they say something they’ve been terrified to admit, and then you see the tiniest hint of relief in their face because it didn’t break them to say it.

It feels like space opening.
Like something inside them loosens its grip.
Like they’re no longer fighting themselves.

That’s the after. And it’s powerful.

17/11/2025

Imagine that!

14/11/2025

12/11/2025

The no reply spiral….

When we care about someone, our brain links that connection to safety. So if there’s a gap, a delay, or the tiniest hint of disconnection, your body goes into threat mode. It’s not drama. It’s survival.

11/11/2025

When connection feels hard, many assume they’re “bad at relationships.” But often it’s a nervous system that’s learned to stay alert for rejection, reading distance or silence as danger. Relational therapy helps you understand and calm those internal alarms, so closeness starts to feel safe rather than threatening.

10/11/2025

4 helpful signs you are pushing love away.

Deflection.
When someone gets emotionally close, you crack a joke, change the subject, or go a bit ‘cold’. That’s not you being rude, that’s your nervous system going, too much, too soon.

Nit-picking.
You start spotting tiny flaws, convincing yourself they’re not right for you. It’s easier to focus on their loud chewing than to sit with the fear that they might actually care about you.

Withdrawal.
You pull back or go quiet after things feel intimate, maybe after a deep conversation or a lovely weekend. That ‘ick’ isn’t always about them. Sometimes, it’s your body reacting to safety because it’s unfamiliar.

Over-independence.
You convince yourself you don’t need anyone, when really, you’re terrified of needing someone and being let down.

08/11/2025

05/11/2025

We all just want to feel understood.

It sounds simple, but it’s everything.
Sometimes after a session I’m reminded how deeply human the need to belong really is.
Beneath every role we play, whether that’s parent, partner or friend, underneath it all is the same longing to be seen and understood without having to explain.

If this is something you yearn for please send me a message: samanthalappingtherapist@gmail.com

04/11/2025

Something I often witness in the therapy room is the moment someone realises they’ve been surviving, not living.
They’ve spent years holding it all together, running on empty, doing what they had to just to stay afloat.

When you’ve lived like that for a long time, safety can feel strange. Calm can feel suspicious. You’re so used to surviving that peace feels almost out of reach.

But as healing begins, something shifts. Life stops being about endurance and starts being about choice.

When was the last time you noticed yourself choosing rather than just coping?

03/11/2025

We often choose familiar over safe because familiar feels predictable, and the brain values predictability more than safety.

If you grew up around chaos, criticism or walking on eggshells, your nervous system learned to operate in that environment. It became your version of normal. So when something calm or consistent appears, your body doesn’t recognise it as safety. It feels foreign, maybe even threatening.

Familiar feels safer than safe because it’s known. It’s what your system understands, even when it hurts. Real safety can feel uncomfortable until your body learns it can relax there.

Therapy helps you rebuild that trust and teaches your system that peace can feel grounding and safe, not tense or uncertain.