Tracy Bacon Counselling

17/11/2025

The “In-Between” Neurodivergent Experience: When You Don’t Fully Fit Anywhere — And Why That Feeling Is More Common Than You Think

The message in the image is raw, emotional, and painfully honest. Many people who are neurodivergent — especially those who have both ADHD traits and autistic traits — describe this exact feeling: being “too much” for some people, “not enough” for others, and misunderstood by nearly everyone in between. It’s an identity that feels constantly in-between, constantly questioned, and constantly evaluated by invisible social rules that never seem to fit.

This experience doesn’t happen because something is “wrong” with you.
It happens because the world is built around neurological norms that only represent a fraction of human brains.

Let’s break down why this feeling is so common, what the research shows, and why you are not alone — nor confused, nor broken — for living in this space between labels, expectations, and social realities.

✨ 1. Neurodivergence Exists on a Spectrum — Not in a Box

ADHD and autism are not rigid categories with clear boundaries. They are spectrums of traits, cognitive patterns, sensory tendencies, and emotional profiles. Many people fall somewhere in between traditional diagnostic lines:

Some have strong ADHD traits with subtle autistic traits.

Some have strong autistic traits with subtle ADHD traits.

Some are formally diagnosed with one but relate strongly to the other.

Some have traits that don’t neatly fit diagnostic criteria but are absolutely valid.

Some mask symptoms so well that others underestimate their struggles.

You may look “not autistic enough” to someone who strongly identifies with autism.
You may look “too autistic” to someone who primarily identifies with ADHD.
You may look “too neurodivergent” to neurotypicals… and “too neurotypical” to other neurodivergent people.

This doesn’t mean you don’t belong.
This means your brain is complex, multidimensional, and real.

✨ 2. Masking Makes You Look More “Mild” to Others Than You Really Are

Masking is the process of hiding, minimizing, or performing over your natural traits to fit into social expectations. People do this to:

avoid judgment

avoid being misunderstood

not appear rude or awkward

prevent rejection

get through school or work

survive social expectations

Masking is especially common among:

late-diagnosed autistic adults

women and AFAB individuals

people with both ADHD and autistic traits

individuals who grew up without support or recognition

Masking creates a painful dynamic:

You work incredibly hard to “fit in,”
and then people assume you don’t need support
because you look like you’re doing fine.

This reinforces the “in-between” feeling.
You look “less autistic” than you actually are.
You look “more capable” than you feel.
You look “more together” than your internal experience.

But masking doesn’t mean the struggle isn’t real — it means you learned to survive.

✨ 3. The “Too Much / Not Enough” Paradox

Many neurodivergent people describe themselves as:

too sensitive for some

too logical for others

too blunt

too intense

too emotional

too quiet

too rule-focused

too chaotic

too detail-oriented

too disorganized

too introverted or too extroverted

too “different”

And yet…

not emotional enough in a neurotypical way

not social enough in the expected way

not flexible enough for some

not structured enough for others

not communicating the “right way”

not fitting stereotypes of autism or ADHD

not matching anyone’s expectations

This contradiction doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you exist outside narrow definitions others rely on to understand people.

You’re not “too much.”
You’re not “not enough.”
You are simply not average — and that is a valid way to exist.

✨ 4. Why Neurotypical and Neurodivergent Worlds Feel So Different

Neurotypical social norms rely heavily on:

subtle cues

unspoken rules

indirect communication

emotional interpretation

quick processing

flexible attention

ADHD communication relies more on:

spontaneity

emotional honesty

rapid shifts

creative language

impulsive patterns

Autistic communication relies on:

clarity

precision

directness

predictable patterns

literal meaning

low ambiguity

So standing between these worlds can feel disorienting.
You may relate to some aspects of all three — but not fully belong to any.

This doesn’t show “confusion.”
It shows cognitive diversity.

There is nothing wrong with not fitting a template.

✨ 5. Feeling “Misplaced” Doesn’t Mean You Are Alone

If the message in the image resonated with you, you are part of a large group of neurodivergent individuals who feel like they live in-between categories.

People who:

never fully fit childhood expectations

never matched adult expectations

never felt “typical”

never felt “neurotypical enough”

never felt “autistic enough”

never felt “ADHD enough”

always felt misunderstood

always felt like the “odd one out”

But here’s the truth:

You are not the odd one out — you are one of the many who exist outside narrow societal categories.

The problem isn’t you.
The problem is the lack of nuance in how society views brains.

✨ 6. Nothing Is “Wrong” With You — What’s Wrong Is the Pressure to Fit Into Boxes

The line “what’s wrong with me?” is something neurodivergent individuals ask themselves far too often — not because anything is truly wrong, but because they were taught that differences equal flaws.

The truth is:

Your social wiring is valid.

Your communication style is valid.

Your sensory profile is valid.

Your pacing, timing, and rhythms are valid.

Your neurodivergence does not have to look like anyone else’s.

You don’t have to “look” autistic or ADHD to be neurodivergent.

Brains do not need labels to be real.
Brains do not need approval to be valid.
Brains do not need to fit categories to be worthy.

If you’ve ever felt trapped between identities, misunderstood by every group, or unsure where you belong, know this:

You belong with people who understand nuance.
You belong with people who see you, not a label.
You belong with neurodivergent individuals who also live in the “in-between.”
You belong in spaces where your brain doesn’t need to prove itself.

And most importantly:

You were never “too much” or “not enough.”
You were simply never meant to fit a box.

17/11/2025

ADHD Burnout: What It Really Looks Like — And Why It’s So Misunderstood

Burnout is difficult for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it is uniquely intense, deeply disabling, and often completely invisible to others. It doesn’t look like simply “being tired.” It doesn’t come from laziness, lack of discipline, or poor planning. ADHD burnout is the result of a nervous system pushed beyond its limits for too long, while trying to perform in a world that was never designed for neurodivergent brains.

Many people with ADHD spend years internalizing the belief that they should “try harder,” “be more consistent,” or “get organized,” while their brain is already working at maximum capacity just to keep up. Eventually, that constant overexertion creates a crash — mental, emotional, and physical.

Here’s what ADHD burnout looks like, why it happens, and why it deserves to be treated with compassion, not judgment.

1️⃣ Difficulty Making Decisions

ADHD brains already struggle with decision fatigue, but during burnout, even the smallest choices feel overwhelming. Deciding what to eat, what task to start, or how to respond to a message can feel mentally impossible. This paralysis is not a lack of desire — it’s cognitive overload.

2️⃣ Low Energy

ADHD is often associated with hyperactivity, but burnout flips the script. Instead of feeling restless or energetic, individuals may feel physically drained, fatigued, and incapable of starting tasks. This can resemble depression, and many people mistake it for emotional withdrawal rather than burnout-induced exhaustion.

3️⃣ Memory Lapses

Burnout makes working memory — something already challenged in ADHD — even harder to rely on. People may forget appointments, lose track of conversations, misplace objects, and struggle to retain information they normally handle well. This leads to shame, frustration, and self-doubt, which only worsen the burnout cycle.

4️⃣ Feeling “Stuck” Despite Effort

One of the most distressing symptoms is the sensation of being trapped: wanting to move, act, or improve, but mentally unable to take the next step. It feels like pushing through quicksand — the brain tries, but productivity refuses to follow. This isn’t resistance or unwillingness. It’s neurological shutdown.

5️⃣ Loss of Motivation

ADHD motivation is already regulated by interest, novelty, and dopamine. When burnout hits, even previously engaging tasks lose their spark. Hobbies no longer feel rewarding. Work feels insurmountable. Basic tasks feel meaningless. This loss of motivation is neurological depletion, not moral failure.

6️⃣ Emotional Overwhelm

ADHD burnout often amplifies emotional sensitivity. Small stressors feel catastrophic. A minor inconvenience can trigger tears, anger, or shutdown. Emotional regulation becomes much harder because the nervous system is already operating at its breaking point.

7️⃣ Task Avoidance

Avoidance is not laziness — it is a stress response. When the brain associates tasks with pressure, fear of failure, or exhaustion, it automatically pulls away. This is the brain’s attempt to protect itself from additional overwhelm.

8️⃣ Trouble Regulating Emotions

People may experience sudden mood swings, irritability, anxiety spikes, or emotional numbness. Burnout disrupts the brain’s ability to filter and manage emotional responses, creating intense internal turbulence.

9️⃣ Increased Irritability

When the brain is overloaded, its tolerance for stimulation drops dramatically. Noise, interruptions, demands, and even casual conversations may feel irritating or unbearable. The person is not intentionally being short-tempered; they are overstimulated and depleted.

🔟 Sensitivity to Criticism

ADHD burnout often heightens rejection sensitivity, making individuals more vulnerable to feeling judged, misunderstood, or criticized. Even well-intentioned feedback can feel like an attack when the nervous system is raw and exhausted.

1️⃣1️⃣ People-Pleasing

Many individuals with ADHD become chronic people-pleasers, either due to years of masking, fear of being misunderstood, or repeated experiences of criticism. During burnout, this tendency intensifies as they overextend themselves trying to maintain relationships despite having no internal energy left.

1️⃣2️⃣ More Careless Mistakes

As executive functioning declines, mistakes multiply — miscalculations, missed deadlines, miscommunication, and errors in simple tasks. Instead of recognizing these as burnout symptoms, individuals often punish themselves with guilt, which deepens the burnout further.

Why ADHD Burnout Happens

ADHD burnout is not sudden. It builds slowly from:

● masking symptoms to appear “normal”
● working twice as hard as others for the same results
● constant overwhelm and sensory overload
● lack of rest, structure, and emotional support
● difficulty setting boundaries
● internalized pressure to “perform” despite exhaustion
● long-term stress and chronic under-stimulation

ADHD brains work harder to regulate time, emotions, motivation, and attention. When those systems are pushed repeatedly without relief, the entire network collapses — and burnout takes over.

ADHD Burnout Is Real. And It’s Not Your Fault.

One of the biggest misconceptions about ADHD burnout is that it happens because someone wasn’t disciplined enough or didn’t manage their life properly. This is false — and harmful.

ADHD burnout is the natural consequence of living in a world that demands constant executive functioning from people whose brains operate differently.

Healing requires:

✔ rest — without guilt
✔ reducing pressure and unrealistic expectations
✔ compassionate self-awareness
✔ supportive environments and relationships
✔ routine adjustments, not self-blame
✔ understanding your limits and honoring them
✔ unmasking where safe
✔ breaks before your brain crashes

Burnout is not a sign of weakness — it is a sign that you’ve been strong for too long without the support you needed.

If you recognize these symptoms in yourself or someone you care about, treat them with gentleness. ADHD burnout is painful, isolating, and deeply misunderstood — but it is also reversible with the right support, understanding, and boundaries.

You don’t need to “push through it.”
You need to heal from it.

07/11/2025

Considering an autism or ADHD assessment for yourself or your child? Start with the right guidance 🙌

We’re excited to relaunch our Diagnostic & Assessment Service to make sure your journey begins with clarity and confidence.

The heart of our new approach? A £199 Initial Consultation with a qualified clinician.

This dedicated time at the start of your journey, with a qualified clinician, gives you:

• Time to explore your individual needs in depth
• Professional advice on whether a full assessment is appropriate
• Detailed screenings using clinically validated tools
• A clear explanation of your results and next steps

This approach helps avoid unnecessary costs and ensures the process is tailored to you. If you choose to proceed with a full assessment, the consultation fee is deducted from the overall cost.

Plus – Did you know we now have new FREE online screening tests for autism and ADHD, perfect for parents, adults, and professionals looking for guidance?

👉 Take your FREE online screening test today, the link is in the comments 👇

20/10/2025

Signs of Being AuDHD (Autistic + ADHD)

Some people have both Autism and ADHD — this combination is often called AuDHD.
It can be a unique mix of traits that make life both beautiful and challenging.

Here are some common signs that someone might relate to being AuDHD 👇

🔹 1. Constant mental tug-of-war
You want structure and routine (autism), but also get bored easily and crave novelty (ADHD). It’s like two parts of your brain pulling in opposite directions all day.

🔹 2. Deep focus… or zero focus
When something truly interests you, you can hyperfocus for hours.
But if it doesn’t capture your attention, it feels almost impossible to start — even small tasks can feel like climbing a mountain.

🔹 3. Sensory overload
You might get easily overwhelmed by sounds, lights, smells, or textures — especially when your ADHD brain is already overstimulated or tired.

🔹 4. Struggle with transitions
Switching tasks, changing plans, or stopping something you enjoy can feel extra hard. Your brain resists both the change (autism) and the executive function demand (ADHD).

🔹 5. Emotional intensity
You might feel emotions very deeply — happiness, sadness, frustration.
Small things can trigger big reactions, and it takes time to calm down again.

🔹 6. Social confusion and fatigue
You may overthink social rules, worry about saying the wrong thing, or replay conversations later. Even if you enjoy people, socializing can leave you mentally drained.

🔹 7. Difficulty prioritizing or finishing tasks
Your ADHD side wants to start everything at once, while your autistic side wants it perfect.
You might spend hours planning — but feel stuck actually finishing.

🔹 8. Needing “recovery time”
After social events, work, or busy days, you might need quiet time alone to recharge. This isn’t being antisocial — it’s how your brain resets.

🔹 9. Unique creativity and insight
Many AuDHD individuals see the world differently — you make unusual connections, come up with creative solutions, and notice details others miss.

💬 Remember:
AuDHD isn’t a flaw — it’s a neurotype.
Understanding it helps you build a lifestyle that matches how your brain truly works.

✨ If you relate to this mix of traits, you’re not broken — you’re wired differently, and that difference has incredible strengths.

08/10/2025

Tracy Bacon is an Essex-based integrative counsellor offering professional and compassionate counselling services in Colchester and surrounding areas.

30/09/2025

10/08/2025

September tends to be a very busy month for couple enquires. Book now to avoid that rush. Limited evening and weekend sessions available.

Tracy Bacon is an Essex-based integrative counsellor offering professional and compassionate counselling services in Colchester and surrounding areas.

09/08/2025

Love this book. For anyone supporting a partner with ADHD ❤ or anyone who wants to learn more about ADHD.

Check out this great listen on Audible.com. Brought to you by Penguin. Rich and Rox, the Sunday Times bestselling authors of DIRTY LAUNDRY, are back with more warm, empathetic and down-to-earth advice to help those with ADHD and autism live authentic, bold and happy lives. Writing as a team, Ric...

26/07/2025

Neurodiversity Awareness. Hope this is helpful.