22/08/2025
People often assume the hardest part of trauma is what happens during the actual experience. But what many don’t realize is that the aftermath can feel just as overwhelming, sometimes even more. And it can be deeply confusing to feel like you’re struggling after the worst is over.
That’s because your body responds to trauma by going into survival mode. It doesn’t pause to process fear or grief or confusion. It pushes those things down so you can keep moving through whatever you’re facing. Your system is doing exactly what it’s designed to do—protecting you.
But survival isn’t healing. Once the trauma ends, your body begins to register everything it had to shut out. And the aftermath isn’t about getting through a specific moment. It’s about living with everything that moment left behind. The fear that stayed in your nervous system. The grief that didn’t surface until you were out of danger. The reactions your body still has, even when your mind knows you’re safe.
This is the part no one prepares you for. Feeling worse after you’ve “survived” can bring up shame. It can make you question your strength. It can feel like you’re somehow failing because you’re finally feeling what you thought you already made it through.
But that’s exactly the point. You didn’t fail. You survived. And now your body finally feels safe enough to go back and start feeling what it couldn’t feel at the time. The aftermath feels harder because this is when the work of healing actually begins.
