09/07/2023
“Set fire to all your maps,
Forget how it’s always been.
We’re explorers of the heart,
Learning to dream again.”
John Mark Green
Well, hello, how are things with you? I hope that life is ticking away nicely for you and your family.
I’ve been very quiet on a social media front this year and the back end of last year, and my only explanation is that I haven’t had enough ‘gas in the tank’ to fuel life stuff and work commitments whilst simultaneously creating social media content with any value. So, something had to go (temporarily), and it was my posts on social media. I also didn’t want to just post for the sake of posting, that would have felt disingenuous.
My back has been against the wall for quite some time, and I’m hoping that I’m now moving out of testing times and that there’s a lot of good stuff, fun times, and plain old-fashioned happiness on the horizon. Life sometimes is tough, confusing and exhausting – each and every one of us goes through these times (for countless different reasons), and they can seem to envelop us; swallowing us whole. We can be left a quieter and less joyous version of our former selves, simply because our experiences have taken so much from us.
We all know (when we’re in a calm state) that life doesn’t stand still and how we are feeling won’t last. Nothing is permanent and this has been my own personal mantra when things have been especially tricky. When we are feeling empty, we add to our fear by telling ourselves that this is the way life will be from now on, but that’s simply not true. Believing that we’re stuck or trapped in a situation, is I believe, more terrifying than dealing with the real-life difficult times.
I always tell my boys ‘There’s always a solution’ to any challenge or situation they face, but I have to admit I haven’t always felt so confident of this when I have been running on empty. Juggling difficult situations can be messy and challenging, but there’s reassurance in knowing that calmer waters are waiting to be sailed.
I’ll be honest and say that despite the work I do, and all of the things I’ve learned about emotional wellbeing over the years, I don’t always practice what I preach. I have at times being lost in negative thought patterns and have ruminated so much I’ve been unable to sleep. And that’s because I’m just the same as you are, I’m a human whose brain most definitely has a negative bias and who has to put the work in to keep on keeping on (phrase borrowed from my lovely friend Rachael).
So, this is just a little reminder and a little reassurance that we all have those times when our emotional bank account is well and truly overdrawn, but when you least expect it, you can start to head out of the red and back to the black. This has been our experience; one positive event has brought about another, and another, which have all been little deposits of positivity into that overdrawn emotional bank account.
Do I have any major wisdom for you if you are going through a difficult time? My main advice would be to feel all the feelings as and when they arise. Don’t bury them as they’ll only resurface and more often than not, they’ll be a more grisly and unruly version of their original selves. It’s ok to be angry, frustrated, disappointed and scared – just try not to let these HUGE emotions define your every waking hour. These are feelings, triggered by unhelpful thoughts (often our fears); they do not define us or our lives.
Continue to do life your way. Take advice and guidance from trusted loved ones but ultimately, we need to trust that we have enough of what we need inside of us to sail our ship solo into calmer waters. Try to hold on to what you want and what you believe is right, even if others think it’s an impossibility.
Sometimes things take time……lots of time. We have to be patient and keep focused on what we do want, instead of giving so much of our valuable energy and attention to the things we dislike and don’t want in our lives.
Take care and look after yourself.
Emma x
P.S. You can read this on my blog https://emmajenkinswellbeing.com/2023/07/06/gas-in-the-tank/
P.P.S If you have a spare few minutes you could also check out my lovely new website. There’s still more to be added, but it’d be great to get your thoughts on how it’s looking so far! https://emmajenkinswellbeing.com/
