14/01/2026
Trauma before training but truth before excuses…
I’m a huge advocate for releasing trauma before we train. A nervous system in survival cannot truly learn, only cope. You all know I start with the spirit and go from there.
Once the trauma has been released we need to look at the behavioural patterns which are left.
Sometimes, once pain has been cleared, emotions have been witnessed, and the horse feels safe in their body again, the behaviour still remains. This is not failure, it’s information.
A horse can be deeply loved, well cared for, and energetically supported and still need clear boundaries, consistency and education.
Healing opens the door and training teaches what to do once the door is open.
True horsemanship is knowing when to soften and when to step up with calm, fair leadership.
Both can exist and both are necessary.
I love the breakdown and education of this post. It’s not about blame, it’s about information and steps to take to improve the partnership with your horse ❤️
A Spoiled Horse
As a trainer I’ve recognized for years that training a spoiled horse feels like fighting a cancer of the mind. It’s incredibly rewarding once the spoiled mind has been healed. We just hope it’s not re-infected by the original behavior shaper. 🫣
I’ve finally gathered enough information about spoiled horses, it’s time to do a deep dive!! We’re about to talk about: how they are created, how to spot them, and how to fix them! This is about to be one of my favorite writings I’ve ever released. 🙌🏼
Cause
Spoiled is not about kindness, treats, and comfort. Spoiling is:
RELIEF WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITY! 🤯
A spoiled horse is:
▫️ Protected from pressure
▫️ Rescued from discomfort
▫️ Rarely asked to adapt
They don’t learn:
▫️ Emotional regulation
▫️ Cause and effect
▫️ How to try through confusion
What They Look Like
Low resilience + high entitlement + fragile nervous system.
They often look confident or bold, but internally they are:
▫️ Easily overwhelmed
▫️ Easily offended
▫️ Easily shut down or explosive
The mentality they carry:
👶🏼 “I shouldn’t have to.”
👶🏼 “This feels unfair.”
👶🏼 “Someone else will fix this.”
Nervous system response:
▫️ Low tolerance for frustration
▫️ High reactivity to pressure
▫️ Poor recovery after stress
They never learned how to stay mentally present when things got hard.
Typical spoiled horse behaviors:
🐴 Won’t stand tied
🐴 Pushy in personal space
🐴 Explosive over small corrections
🐴 Selectively obedient
🐴 Lazy until suddenly reactive
🐴 Refuses before it tries
🐴 Melts down over small things
🐴 Shuts off instead of working through confusion
Horses do not do these things because they are “bad”, they do them because they never learned how to COPE.
Spoiled horses are anxious and not confident. Reasons being:
▫️ They often overreact
▫️ They don’t trust their own ability
▫️ They rely on others to regulate their world
At times they may appear dominant, lazy, or entitled. But under all that is crippling fear and a huge lack of confidence. This is where their dramatic spooking comes from when their comfort bubble is popped.
How To Fix Them
The three biggest things that WILL
NOT WORK to fix a spoiled horse:
❌ More pressure suddenly
❌ More softness
❌ Inconsistency
What WILL WORK to fix a spoiled horse:
💚 Predictable structure
- We need to offer our horses consistent training with the same rules and clear expectations.
💚 Gradual discomfort
- They need small manageable challenges with no rescuing. They need to feel the frustration and learn to think through it.
💚 Teaching the effort ➡️ relief connection
- Trying = Relief
- Avoiding = Work
💚 Emotional neutrality (from trainer)
- Our part: no anger, no pleading and no guilt. 🙅🏻♂️
Calm, boring, consistency is what will rewire your spoiled horse into your ultimate partner. 💪🏼
What you’ll get:
🐴 Calm under pressure
🐴 Confidence with understanding
🐴 Willing and not reactive
🐴 Trust in you as a leader
Good trainers aren’t just training movement. They’re training nervous systems. The more you understand about a spoiled mind the more you can avoid or even fix it. FYI humans experience it much the same way. 😉