Jarvis-Hilton Counselling

02/01/2026

This is a fantastic idea I’d like to recommend people try, even if it’s just for a month!?

Thank you for………
I like it when you…….
You are appreciated for…..
Well done on……
I’m so proud of you for…….

This small and simple act can support the growth, connection and communication, not only within romantic relationships, but in families and work places too.

We all need appreciation to feel valued.

We all need appreciation to maintain motivation.

We can’t pour from an empty cup 😉

What if you had a “bad day backup plan” sitting on your kitchen counter? 💌
An Appreciation Jar is basically a stash of proof that you and your partner show up for each other, in big and tiny ways.
You write specific thank you's on little slips of paper, tuck them into the jar, and pull a few out when you need a reset or a reminder that you are not alone in this life thing.
This month’s Gottman Love Notes walks you through exactly how to do it, with prompts, word banks, and simple steps so you are not staring at a blank piece of paper wondering what to write.
Want the Appreciation Jar guide and future Love Notes delivered to you each month? Click the link in this post to sign up for the free download. 💙 https://bit.ly/4g0CwVT

01/01/2026

29/12/2025

Are you experiencing a difficult memory from the past that just won't go away?

This memory could date back, 40 or 5 years ago, or just a few months, but it just keeps playing and the emotions and feelings are experienced again.

Sometimes we experience things our mind and body feel really overwhelmed by, either because it was very distressing, confusing or hurtful. So the mind puts the experience in the 'to be filed" tray, but its never filed away.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing) is a remarkable model of therapy which provides the mind with the tools and environment it needs to reprocess the memory successfully, so it no longer replays in your present life.

Every case I have worked with to date has had remarkable results, these vary from serious trauma scenes to childhood bullying experiences, some clients have multiple target memories requiring work and others are unsure of where the memory is in their past. All cases have reported a big reduction of distressing feelings linked to the target memory/s.

The great thing about EMDR is that it works much faster than regular talking therapy too. I've seen a 30 year old trauma experience be reprocessed in 6 sessions of EMDR therapy and many other cases of historical difficulties filed away.

The memory is not erased from your mind, the memory is reprocessed in a supported and safe way so the brain knows where to store it.

EMDR myths:
- EMDR is not Hypnotherapy, you are fully conscious and in control throughout.
- You do not need to move your eyes, they can be shut, despite the name.
- You will know who you are once the difficult experiences are reprocessed.
- EMDR is not re-traumatising. **Ensure you are working with a qualified and registered EMDR professional**

Reach out if you would like to book a free EMDR consult to discuss freeing yourself from the difficult experiences from the past.

09/12/2025

During the festive season the practice will be closed from the 24th December 2025 until the 5th January 2026.

At this time, I'd like to thank, followers, those who 'like', 'love' and 'share' and especially those I have worked with over the past year. I wish you all a peaceful festive season.

2026 marks my 10th year in Private Practice. I'm proud of this achievement, as it's taken a lot of perseverance, patience and stamina to get this far. Here's to the next 10 years!

In 2026, I am adding Neurodiversity Coaching to the practice options, I will be offering Intensive EMDR sessions (more info to follow), along with all the usual therapy support options available.

I'm going to be resting and snuggling with this one. Merry Christmas from me and Florence.

17/11/2025

It's self-care week!
Give yourself a break.
Silence the inner voice that criticises.
If you procrastinate for a while, that's ok.
Embrace the imperfections.
Say no to something.
Have a peaceful week!

15/11/2025

Anyone heard of the Drama Triangle?

It's a tool used to help identify unhealthy dynamics in all types of relationships.

It's something I weave into therapy explorations, assisting clients understanding in managing mind games, abuse of power, bullying, scapegoating and unrealistic expectations in relationships dynamics.

If you feel overwhelmed, burnt out, anxious and totally dread seeing certain people, going to work, socialising or feel this way about the fast approaching festive season then a short burst of therapy might be for you.

03/11/2025

Developmental trauma is a fairly new buzz word in society, but the history of this type of trauma goes back decades. Unravelling can help clients understand why their lives, relationships and behaviours are what they are today.

Some people do not want to explore their pasts.
What's done is done right!
Some people can't remember their childhoods, so whats the point in therapy!

What if whats embedded in your subconscious from the past, is whats stealing your certainty and happiness in the present?!

Do you feel like you know yourself?
Do you feel like you've been coasting through life never really feeling anything?

Keep an eye on my website for a deeper dive into developmental trauma's signs and how therapy can help - www.jarvishiltontherapy.com

21/10/2025

With anxiety cases increasing year on year, GAD is now a common symptom present in my therapy work.
GAD is confusing, frightening and feels impossible to overcome. Some people have been battling symptoms for years, with anxiety becoming more and more complex each time it presents.
EMDR is a remarkable tool for assisting clients in overcoming anxiety, GAD and many other issues which feel trapped, stuck or relentless part of people’s everyday lives. The body knows how to heal itself, and so does the brain!

15/10/2025

Reviews as a counsellor can be difficult to obtain, as confidentiality is a huge part of our role. But as therapy is more accepted and accessed, people are becoming more open to their experiences and reviews. See some of mine below. Please feel free to write me a review if we have worked together -

5.0 ⭐ · Counselor in Goudhurst, England · More details on Google Search

01/10/2025

Are you a Peer Supporter, Trauma Support Practitioner, Mental Health First Aider, Support Worker of any kind or in a helping profession where you’re listening to difficult content, tragic incidents or supporting others?

Who is supporting you? How are you doing? Do you need someone to share your load with or need guidance surrounding ethics, safeguarding or mental health signposting?

Professional supervision is the antidote to overload, burnout, compassion fatigue and difficult decisions which come with supporting, supporting roles in the workplace.

If your company, organisation, team or solo practitioners need clinical supervision support, please do reach out to discuss this vital element of mental health support.

Nobody is immune to mental health issues, nobody knows their resilience limit, or burnout point.

15/09/2025

With the word “toxic” being used to describe so many relationships these days, it can become very overwhelming for the person on the receiving end of the behaviour to work out what’s happened, happening and what to do about it.

By the time people end up in therapy, there have been numerous conversations, internet searches and questions run through AI.

I often get asked “do you think they’re a narcissist?”

Firstly, I encourage anyone in a relationship or close proximity to someone who demonstrates immature and unhealthy behaviours to consider if the relationship is right for them.

Secondly, I get people to consider what positive effects the relationship has for them?
Is the relationship equal?
Is the relationship respectful?
Is there genuine mutual trust in the relationship?
Are you happy and content in the relationship, a majority of the time?
Do the behaviours of the person match what they say they will do?
Do they deal with disagreements in a mature way?
Does the person take an interest in you and encourage you to grow?
Is the relationship a help or a hindrance?

If you answered no/negative to any of these questions, there is a chance your partner/person/family member is emotionally immature and may need to work on themselves.

Not all people are toxic, sometimes they have become stuck in maturing.
Sometimes people feel entitled to treat others poorly because of learned behaviours from their past. Sometimes archaic behaviours play out because the person resists evolving with the times.

Emotional maturity is something we acquire as we grow, learn and overcome.

Not everyone achieves it, therefore I encourage clients to assess this element of their relationships first.

01/09/2025

Found out I qualified as a Clinical Supervisor today! So I now offer clinical support & supervision to counsellors, trainees and those in helping professions (frontline personnel, medical and social care). If you feel you need a confidential space to discuss your work, challenges or ethical dilemmas, please contact me to discuss how I could help.