14/03/2026
Honest post -be warned it's honest but it is also lengthy 🙂
At one of this weeks funerals a family pressed these into my hand and said, we know you won't remember her but we still want you to have some ...
That thought from the families is both true and also wrong.. I cannot keep all of the people, all of their families, all of their stories in the front of my mind. It would overwhelm me very quickly, dates, places, names, family trees, the diagnosis story, their favourite things.... but they go into a strange mental filing cabinet in my mind, that process protects me from carrying too much sadness around.
Until I'm walking round a supermarket and spot a product, im taking a turning off a roundabout seeing a signpost, seeing a food on a menu, hearing a song, seeing a particular flower .... and then boom , there someone I've spoken about is, their story pops into my head.
So yes if you gave me the name of any one of the 366 people I've spoken about in the last 3 years I probably couldn't give you their date of birth, I may even struggle to place much at all , but show me a burnt batch of fairy cakes, show me a travel brochure to Donaghadee, show me a Skye terrier and any one of a thousand things and I will smile because I remember the person then in that moment, they come zipping back to the front of my filing cabinet mind and its a wonderful thing to think about them once more
I dont speak for everyone in the funeral industry, I know some people with incredible memories that I work with , I'm even more in awe of them than usual at that point when they can instantly bring any name to mind , but I speak for me , I may forget but they are never forgotten if that makes any sense at all.
Humanist Ceremonies
Photo description for the visually impaired, a small brown envelope containing forget my not seeds, they are personalised for the person they are in memory of , the name is obscured for privacy reasons.
