Sue Harris Counselling

13/09/2024

So some viral thingamy has finally gotten the best of me today. Its been trying to tell me to stop and rest for a few days on reflection. But of course, I didn't take the time to listen to my body. Kept pushing through. Keep going, stuff to do etc.
So it took it to the next level, gave me a hacking cough and took my voice!!
"Stop talking and listen!"
It worked, I stopped.
Our bodies can be such a good reflection of what our minds need.
Although it's a cold but sunny day and my brain tells me I should be outside, my heart wants to watch Christmas films and make Christmas stuff in my craft room!
A sort of "chicken noodle soup" (the sort of food that is made to cure all ills!), thing that will definitely give me a boost.
So I m going with doing what my heart wants, wallowing in my form of "chicken noodle soup" for a day.
It's good to stop, listen to your body and go with what your heart tells you sometimes.
What's your "chicken noodle soup" when you need to stop and rest awhile?

16/06/2024

I read somewhere the other day, that we miss our parents and think about them more, as we get older.
I can certainly relate to that. Today has been primarily about my husband and his relationships with his children and his grandchildren. Which has been very positive and fulfilling.
But one of the important moments for him was sharing his father's overseas driving licence for 1943 with his children and grandchildren.
The photo also reminded me of my dad (gone 29 yrs ago now), and the values he put on family were also talked about.
It seems for many of us this continuity still has an impact on our adult lives and those of our children and grandchildren.
It's more important than we realise at the time, what we do, what we say, and how we say it.
Take time to think about what you say and do.
It will have an effect on people for generations to come.

09/02/2024

Hello all.
Been some time since I posted anything. Life seems to move so quickly at the moment! Think it's an age thing.
Recently I ve experienced a number of situations where friends or relatives have fallen ill or even, sadly passed away.
Suddenly realised we are in our 60's and this may become a more regular part of our lives.
Certainly want to be sympathetic to all these people close to us, but slso felt the need to evaluate our remaining years.
Maybe time to think more along the lines of "what I want to do" NOT "what I ought to do".
Very hard when as active family members you have put many others before you.
Now is the time to put you first. While you can.
No one will see you as being selfish. They will see you as being decisive. And they will follow you.
As elder members of our communities we can teach and support those coming after us.

21/10/2022

21/10/2022

There are many posts about PTSD.
My first contact or experience with PTSD was through relatives who had served in the armed forces.

Then research about those who had returned after WW1. How those people had struggled to adapt to normal life.

Now, through learning and research, we can see how life events can cause damage to our mental health into the future if we do not attend to our own healing.

Allowing PTSD to continue unattended will allow PTSD to control your life.
If YOU are ready to get control of YOUR life, contact a counsellor.
I am available on telephone, zoom or face to face.

I would also signpost to Rock2Recovery for Services personnel if preferred.

I m here if your family need help.

It's time to get a a grip!!!

21/10/2022

So here we are, Autumn again. I love this season. The colours of course are fabulous. But from a growing season it's a time to prepare for next spring.
Looking to the future and the excitement of what it might bring.
That's not that the winter doesn't bring its own joys.
The cold, the frosts, a fresh start. It certainly improves the taste of many vegetables such as sprouts and parsnips!!
Everything in nature has its role. Nature is much cleverer than us thats for sure, but we are always unsure about following what we cannot see. I feel many of us have lost the ability to read or rely on our own intuition.
We need to learn to trust our feelings. Learn to read our own emotions and our bodies and behaviours.
Should we rely on others on the Internet to tell us how and when we should be feeling things?
If you want to revisit your own in-built skills to be able read yourself, interpret your own feelings and emotions and gain more control of your own life, contact me.
Zoom, telephone or face to face sessions able.

04/10/2022

Disturbed this little fella when working on our allotment the other day. He had been sheltering in some undergrowth that we needed to clear so we could plant into it. Off he hopped and hopefully found somewhere else to settle and continue eating the slugs!!!
How many of us spend time hiding under the undergrowth,trying not to draw attention, keeping everything calm and steady, on an even keel, no drama.
But sometimes a bit of drama can help kick-start us again. Help us to move forward, try different things in life, take chances!
A few things are taking me out of my comfort zone at the moment but also making me extend myself and make the most of life. A bit of stress but also a bit of excitement!
What are you going to do to move out of your comfort zone this week?

25/06/2022

I know I haven't posted very regularly at the moment. Many changes happening in my life and having to prioritise.
That fact in itself has made me think about what is important in my life and what I should prioritise.
I see many things on social media trying to outline what and how I should be thinking about my life.
Some of it sounds familiar, some sounds way out there.
And then I hear about how social media appears to have caused such sadness amongst our younger generation in particular.
To the extent of their deaths.
And secondarily to that, the end of the lives of those who took the lives of others.
So many ripples in a pond we cannot imagine.
We say that talking and communicating helps us all to improve our lives.
Talking to anyone helps. Talking to someone in a professional capacity helps to negate some of the issues that are more difficult to navigate.
Talk to a professional Counsellor if you think you are really struggling to navigate new ways of communicating with your children, other family members or people in general.
What ever age you are, a child, a parent, a grand parent and many others.
Sharing your concerns and how they are impacting you and your family, can help you realise the decisions you need to make.
As well as improving the way you communicate with your family and people around you.
BACP or NCS amongst others, have a register of qualified counsellors available for you to choose from in your area.
Don't wait until you have a crisis. Talk to someone now.

27/05/2022

Anxiety, a word used daily by people almost without even thinking about its meaning. This is the Oxford Dictionary interpretation -

"a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome."

But for me it is the scale of these "somethings " that are most relevant.

It feels as though it could be anything from the war in Ukraine to whether we can afford to feed our families as well as keep them warm in the year to come.

For other people it is even more intense, as they struggle to manage their own feelings and reactions to even the simplest events in everyday life.

We are all very individual and have very different life stories and experiences that mould us into the people we are.

Sometimes those experiences have left us unable to interpret how events will impact on us as individuals. We have been left overwhelmed and feeling that we cannot face our feelings safely and in a controlled manner. This can have a very limiting effect on your life, in an effort to remain in control.

If you feel you do not have the ability to face issues in your daily life, get in touch.
Let me help you to find ways that you can manage your anxiety and broaden your life.

Email info@sueharriscounselling.co.uk
Txt or call 07548834923
Or WhatsApp.

14/05/2022

This is the view I have when I collect one of my grandchildren from school.
I have learnt over time, to appreciate moment s like this so much more. Not just for the view, but if you can sit in the moment, for the peace and tranquility it can give you.
The bonus of modern technology can allow us to revisit these images and re kindle those feelings when we might need them.
The brain is so clever. It stores not just the images we see but the emotions they evoke.
Sometimes this is not so easy to deal with. People with PTSD can rapidly be returned to a moment they do not want to re live. Their brain remembers not only the event but the feelings and emotions that went with it. That can be overwhelming, again and again.
Talking therapies can help to reduce the effect of these intense feelings and help to put the memories into a more manageable form.
They are still an important part of who you are, how your life has been lived.
But you do not want the feelings and emotions to be so overwhelming you cannot live your life.
The emotions elicited from scenes such as this picture can be so much more healing.
If you think you need help to revisit and re organise some of your memories get in contact.
Let's work through them together.
Get in contact.

07/04/2022

So, nearly 7 weeks since Mum died but it seems so much longer since I have seen her, spent time with her, talked to her, listened. Time can play many tricks on your mind that's for sure.
We had a lovely funeral (bit weird!). It was good to see lots of family and mums friends and share memories.
Grandchildren came too out of their choice. It has been good to work through all this with them too. To try and remove the fear and taboo s around death and see it as sad, but for the most part, a natural part of life.
As for me, I have my good days and sad days. But overall looking to the future, the next stage in my life with Steve and the children and grandchildren.
I have joined a local choir! And today met up with some old friends from a previous job.
So I think I m healing bit by bit but every now and then I still give in to the grief and sadness. On those days I find the best things to help me get through are.....copious amounts of tea and chocolate!!!

I feel ready to listen and help others now.

If I can help you please call or text 07548834922.
Or email info@sueharriscounselling.co.uk
I am also on WhatsApp.
Look forward to hearing from you.

11/03/2022

Loosing my mum has taught me how different everyone's grief can show itself.
I have already been on a similar journey after loosing my dad suddenly and both my younger sisters way before their time. When mum died I feared returning to that deep intense sadness that was almost physical in its pain.
But this time it is very different.
Mum was ready to die. She was poorly and in pain, her body failing her daily despite my best efforts to take care of her.
Maybe her acceptance that it was her time has helped me come to terms with this loss in a different way.
The first time in my family I ve had a "normal" death! Lol.
I still cry unexpectedly. Still have moments when I want to scream, yell and punch something. And I miss her so much, often saying to myself "oh I ll get that for mum" or" I ll tell mum that" and other such daily thoughts. She is still very much part of my daily life.
Arranging her funeral has given me the opportunity to look through many old photos and see all that she has done and achieved as well. Brought back memories and stories.
But it was time for her to rest and that feels comforting in a way.
Slowly but surely I am re discovering my life too. Makes me feel guilty at times but I have to move forward. Another chapter in my life.
I had my first evening out last night in years! The AGM of the Allotment Association lol. Maybe not a sparkly event but good to be around people without worrying about what was happening with mum.
Love you mum and miss you everyday. But I thank you for teaching me your people skills and the importance of listening.

Hopefully next month I ll be "open" again and will look forward to hearing from anyone who feels being listened too may help them.