Making Space Play and Creative Arts Therapy

23/07/2025

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We echo the calls in this joint letter from across the sector.

https://www.adoptionuk.org/Handlers/Download.ashx?IDMF=dee4f2b8-810c-410c-840d-9725325c23f5

We thank them for collaborating Adoption UK Kinship Coram Family Rights Group CVAA UK Barnardo's

Our families cannot afford for the government to ignore this letter.

We are proud that evidence from our campaign is referenced in this letter and is being used to make the case for an urgent review of the changes to the ASGSF.

Both our evidence and that of the sector shows just how damaging the impact of the cuts to the ASGSF have been.

We want to collect more evidence, please complete and share our parent/carer survey:

https://forms.gle/sSKwqjeDEmVXQksv9

We echo the sectors call for a full and proper consultation, and the call to conduct this consultation before any future reform.

Current options for the future being put forward by the likes of Adoption England have a very weak evidence base and do not recognise the needs of our children nearly enough.

For now let us say this. Our campaign matters, not because of us but because of you. Because you add your voices to it. Because we have all come together to fight these cuts and fight for the needs of our children. It is our collective passion and advocacy skills that make a difference.

We said back on May the 3rd at our protest march that the fight was only just beginning. We know it is tiring, we know you have had to fight so much already but we must keep going. That isn’t fair but it is the reality.

Together we are having an impact. Those organisations writing this letter are listening to our collective voice and they care about what we are saying. That’s huge.

The government can only continue to ignore us for so long. Our campaign will continue to hold the government to account for what they are doing.

Our campaign is all about our collective voice, the power in unity and fighting this together.

We ask that you keep going, with us, if you can. Keep sharing our message, keep sharing the work we are doing. Keep collaborating with us.

It is slow and it is hard but it is meaningful.

For now it’s a big thank you, from us to you for your support. We take the responsibility of this campaign and representing your voices very seriously. It is an honour.

23/07/2025

20/06/2025

I'm getting increasingly concerned by the "dabbling" in children's mental health that is being encouraged by the Labour government! Not only did they strip back the ASGSF to unworkable amounts (I'm now constantly thinking do we refuse that meeting or do it for free & risk bankruptcy?)😪 Trying to remain ethical without the funding to do so is bad enough. But they've also stated "mental health provision in schools", which basically means giving a staff member a brief course to dabble. We're getting enquiries to train people to work in this way. It won't be encouraged by eQuiPT. It's downright dangerous in a bid to look like the government are doing good for children. If they actually want to benefit mental health I ask this: 1.Fund actually qualified therapists in schools. 2. Reinstate the ASGSF funding to workable levels so that we can do the job we love doing and properly. 3. Add money to the pot so that Kinship carers can access support too. At the moment the government are creating a very dangerous environment. Families please question what's being offered. Is the "therapist" qualified? Are they registered? Therapists are trained to post graduate level! Please always ask. Somone who doesn't know what they're doing can actively make things worse. The Provider's List and Ofsted was created for a very good reason. Accountability for Provider's. Action against ASGSF changes

29/04/2025

29/04/2025

22/04/2025

I literally can not stand hearing it; but honestly, I wish people would say it to my face so I could educate them instead of overhearing it or finding out through the grapevine. I know they don't understand, but sometimes it's more than a typical meltdown.

Most people think since she came to us as a baby, she shouldn't have issues associated with trauma like kids who come into foster care at an older age. "She doesn't remember a time before you" they say.

I wish that were the case, but the reality is that trauma impacts even the youngest of kids in foster care; yes, even infants removed at birth.

Just because I didn't carry her for nine months, doesn't make her any less my daughter, but it does mean that her time in utero was considerably different because I didn't. When you start adding things up like: no prenatal care, lack of nutrition, substance abuse, stressful pregnancy or delivery, that is mounds of trauma before a child even enters this world. & how about just being separated from the mom who carried them all those months. That in itself is traumatic.

I've learned that trauma is tricky. Even though it physically rewires brains, we can't always see the scars it leaves behind so It's often mistaken for something else. I've also learned that parenting trauma brained children is hard. It is literally everything against my natural instincts as a parent not to lose my cool when she acts like this, but I know I can't. She's not being bad, but something in her body feels off & she can't explain it. While her brain may not remember a time before joining our family, her body certainly does.

So next time you think “She just needs a spanking,” maybe try, “How can I help?” Or “You’re doing a great job keeping it together.” Instead of judging me, you can help me help her.

13/04/2025

💕 A new perspective on attachment styles 💕
What if attachment style isn’t about the other person, but about how we relate to ourselves in their presence?

27/03/2025

One of the earliest - and most damaging - lessons we teach children is that being good means “doing as you’re told”. That obedience is a virtue, and disobedience is a flaw.

But children aren’t here to be programmed. They’re not meant to follow orders without question or silence their instincts to keep the peace.

When we teach them that saying no is bad, and that pushing back is disrespectful, we teach them to distrust their inner compass.

Because the truth is, some of the most important moments in life require the courage to take a stand - to speak up, to challenge what feels wrong, to stay rooted in who we are even when it’s uncomfortable…

And that kind of bravery starts early, when children are allowed to use their voice without fear of rejection or punishment.

Obedience without UNDERSTANDING is hollow, performative, and ultimately meaningless.

It teaches children to comply, not to reflect. and that’s not how common sense - let alone wisdom - is built.

I once came across a quote that stuck with me:
“Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time where there are actual dragons.”

And it made perfect sense.

In the world we live in, we need to raise kids who know how to think - not just how to follow…
So they can grow into adults who know when to concede - and when to lead. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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25/03/2025

They challenge everything. Your boundaries. Your patience. Your tone. Your timing…

And some days, it feels relentless. Like you’re locked in a power struggle with someone half your size but twice your intensity.

But what if we could - just for a moment - see that they’re not fighting us, but fighting to find themselves?

Strong-willed children aren’t trying to be “difficult.” They’re trying to feel powerful in a world where they often feel small, unheard, or out of control.

And their intensity? It’s not a flaw. It’s their way of testing what’s real, what’s safe, and what kind of leader they can become.

When we meet their fire with fear, we dim it. When we meet it with control, we clash. But when we meet it with grounded leadership - when we show them how to use their strength with integrity - we give them something far more valuable than obedience.

We give them trust in their own voice.

Strong-willed doesn’t mean bad. It means brave. It means bold. It means they’re going to need you to be the calm anchor they can push against as they find their place in the world.

This isn’t about taming them. It’s about walking beside them - while they learn to lead with heart, not force.

Because their fire was never meant to be extinguished.

It was meant to light the way. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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25/03/2025

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Credit: unknown

25/03/2025

Unpopular opinion

Your child doesn’t need to fix their attitude. They need you to empathize and co-regulate with them.

I feel like this one will create some defensiveness. Everytime I suggest empathy and co-regulation, instead of correction.

You can’t just force your child to respect you. They learn what respect looks and sounds like from you. If you give them respect, then they may reciprocate, but respect should not be conditional, same as love.
J. Milburn


Respect that is forced is usually based in fear.

Do you find yourself getting caught up on this idea? Do you find your desire for respectful behaviour and communication gets in the way of connecting with your child, at times?

In my book Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation, I discuss how our perception of respect can often be a barrier to connection. Once you stop feeling offended by your child’s behaviour, it’s easier to help them learn new strategies for communicating.

Learn more about connection, co-regulation and deepening the parent-child bond in my latest book 👇

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣⁣
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Link in bio or on the Website: responsiveparentinginspirations.com⁣⁣

AUDIOBOOK OUT NOW

25/03/2025

Give them the benefit of the doubt.

Not because they’ve earned it every time - but because who they BECOME can be shaped by what we choose to see.

They won’t always make the right choice. Sometimes they’ll push limits, fall short, or forget what we asked entirely.

But when we meet that with belief - when we say, “I think you forgot,” instead of, “Why didn’t you do what I said?” - we hold up a mirror to their better self.

Because every child (like us) holds both - the part of themselves that reacts, and the part that remembers who they ARE. The part that disconnects, and the part that longs to repair.

And just like us, they will tend to follow the one that’s fed.

When we speak to their goodness, we keep it alive…

And in a world constantly telling them what they’re not, our quiet trust becomes something louder than any noisy disapproval - affirming:

You are human. You are worthy. And I see you. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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