17/12/2024                                                                            
                                    
                                                                            
                                            For Sofia ❤️
It’s that time of year again where the Christmas lights are twinkling, the tree is decorated and we are all planning how we will spend our time with those we love, remembering those we have lost and those who are not able to see their families, and those who grieve their loss, not from this world but from our living lives.
I have deliberated this year about whether to post this annual message, not only because of the negative responses they have generated previously, but because, they aren’t meant to cause pain to the one person they are written for.  We are told that Sofia looks and follows our social media posts and is upset to see her brother, her dad, her grandparents, her aunts, uncles, cousins, the family she does not speak to, the extended family she belongs to, even when we are told repeatedly she does not, sharing stories, moments and celebrating each others special milestones and achievements, without her!  
We can see how this may be viewed and wish we could wave a magic wand and remove all this pain and ugliness from your world, there is so much bitterness and grief, that we should strive to keep the peace and spread love wherever we walk!
We have to keep living, no matter the pain we carry, we have to live today because we may never have tomorrow.  
I see the pain each day in your brother and father, I feel their loss and absolute frustration at not being able to change the version of them you hold in your heart and mind, those beliefs that makes you fear the very people who would sacrifice everything for you.
So with that all said and done I will post this for you, because I live on the outside of your world and I can speak my truth.
So Sofia, I will share this for my Stevie, your heartbroken dad, who just waits patiently for another chance to see your smile on the balcony at the races, who writes to you every month even though he suspects you never receive his cards or gifts, and knows that even if you do, you will have come to realise that you can never react positively to them, but he still sends them! 
I share this for your brother Flynn, who is old beyond his years, has experienced more than anyone his age should have, and has tried so hard to see you, his little sister but is refused.
I share this for your grandparents who are reminded that they have another granddaughter who is just as loved as the others every day you are not with them.  
I share this for your aunties and uncles who think and speak of you regularly and cousins whose lives and heights have grown despite you not being around and the youngest cousins in their innocence don’t even remember you.  They know who you are, they know you belong but the years and their ages have made the void just too vast to comprehend.
There are so many more people who are impacted by your absence, it must be so hard for you to believe sweetheart but it’s true, so if you are reading this Sofia, we all understand, we don’t blame you for making the choices you have made, for supporting your mum in all the ways that you do and still manage to shine bright in everything you do - there is such pride in your families eyes when they read about your accomplishment’s and catch glimpses of your life!  I do hope they get the chance to be part of it once again before the chance is gone forever! 
For now just know that each day we all continue to shine a light so you will always know they are here, if and when you decide it’s time!
Sent with love ❤️