Sue S Counselling and Supervision

22/05/2026

It happened a long time ago let it go ---------

I've often heard this said both in and out of the therapy room. Yet what is not understood is that complex trauma C-PTSD leaves a lot of symptoms to work through this is why it take a long time in recovery its years not weeks or months. There are no quick fixes and the person suffering needs safety first to even contemplate starting the healing journey.

To our inner world it might as well have happened yesterday, there is no linear timeline, no gap between what was and what is for unresolved trauma. Emotionally speaking, the affects of trauma lives in our mind and body, in every cell and often not in our conscious mind but within our sub and unconscious, leaking out with symptoms through behaviours.

We also need patience, reassurance lots of it from our loved ones and one of the most significant things we need is to be believe, validated that all we are feeling and experiencing is a normal response to abnormal experiences. Without being pathologized medicalised and stigmatised

Wounded, injured and distressed from adverse experiences not disordered - please be kind.

21/05/2026

FOOD FOR THOUGHT- What do you make of hindsight?

Oxford Dictionary defines hindsight as:

"the understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed".

Or the ability to understand past events from the present of where we are in the here and now.

Many people I speak to often tell me that they wished they knew then what they know now and if they did they would have done things very differently, these kind of thoughts and thinking leads to regret.

The point of reflection or hindsight is to learn from the event and not to take the same mistakes into the future, to learn, raise awareness and to become better at what we do, both for others and for ourselves.

We make decisions every day and every minute of our lives and sometimes those decisions don't offer us the best outcome and if we had known this we would more than likely make a different choice. But we need to stand by our decisions otherwise we lose self-respect and our self-esteem suffers, which lowers our confidence in Self.

If we can accept we are human and as human beings we all make mistakes, the top scientist or sports people didn't become top before making many mistakes, re-tries and much practice before getting to the top of their game.

Self-compassion is a must giving ourself the same loving kindness we would give to a friend, too self-soothe our inner world and too self-support aids our overall well-being.

I'll end with this quote:

It's so difficult, isn't it? To see what's going on when you're in the absolute middle of something? It's only with hindsight we can see things for what they are.

S.J. Watson

20/05/2026

TODAY'S AFFIRMATIONS ... I radiate positive energy and enjoy my day.

19/05/2026

Tongue in cheek as you read - I think I've conquered great things this morning having to go to docs for 07.10. My mind in its wisdom told me it was a good idea at the time. But my oh my ..... my body just screamed for the past four hours in protest of having to get out of a warm comfy bed.

Was I even in my body or still skipping on the astral plains I wondered in protest of having to open one’s eyes whilst nature keeps them shut, shower what an effort, no time for breakfast, shower and out into the cold midwinter ….

Well In reality my sister said its springs rain and cold ... I heard your such a drama queen as I remembered an old saying …. don’t cast a clout until May is out. At this point I think I’d rather stay in bed for the whole of May.

Reflecting this is what it must to like to be born lol .... Seriously never again who even ever gets up in the middle of the night and stays awake all day.

The positive is I've got my yearly checks done, been shopping, had breakfast out and back home for 9.30, and now .... well now I'm wondering if it’s time for bed lol

My drama queen still lives and that's OK she's part of me and doesn't come to the fore much these days lol

Enjoy your day everyone ......

18/05/2026

Yes this

❤️

18/05/2026

Good morning, and welcome everyone I thought I’d introduce the work and concerrns I am trained, experienced and privileged to work with when others bring them to me.

I haven’t just learnt from books or training in fact I would say training and qualifications have enhanced and expanded my awareness, skills, insight, understand and knowledge from my own lived experiences and vice versa.

Obviously, I’ve not experienced every mental health issue us humans can suffer with, I don’t need too, trauma is trauma and there is only one trauma island but may modes of transport for travelling to it. Bringing distress, confusion, dissociations disorientation that many of us experience and more.

It’s not a destination I’d advocate going but once we find ourselves sat on trauma island then we can and many of us do get to leave and live our life our way creating step by step our island of peace.

This is what my aim is when sitting with people who feel they are broken, I can tell you this is a real feeling but its not a fact, we can recover and heal well to our own tune, at our own pace and in our own good time.

I offer online and in-person counselling sessions if you live here in the UK and I’m reaching out to the world through my FB page and website www.pendulumofpeace.com in hopes you will reach out wherever you are and seek support when you need it. Because we all do from time to time, I appreciate it takes a lot to even ask for help at times, but you can learn to and it will be worth it with a trusted other.

Pop over to my page and follow for insight, information and inspiration for your personal healing journey you might find something to support or maintain your personal healing journey. Or something which resonates with you to store for a later time.

17/05/2026

SUNDAY’S MINDFUL MUSINGS – INNER TALK – The way we speak to ourselves matters because it can shape the tone of our day.

In my practice I often hear “What if” which sounds like a question, but it often reflects speculation about what happened or what we wish had happened. In either case, it resists accepting reality as it is.

I also often hear “If only” which is an expression of regret about something we did not do, wish we had done, or wish we had done differently.

Both phrases place conditions on our thinking and in turn how we behave because of our self-talk. Usually on something which has already happened and we can’t actually change in the here and now.

Prescriptive self-talk can be a trigger to conditions of our worth and affect our beliefs about ourselves and our behaviour and are often negative and derogatory.

What can we do?

If we counterbalance the phrases with “I don’t know” and “I did my best” both phrases take ownership, both are reflective, opening up new possibilities rather than being stuck in loops of ‘what if and if only” which offer negativity and regret.

This changes our inner chatter from self-blame to self-exploration and the possibility we can change our way of thinking about a situation and supports us to stop trying to change something which has already happened and we can’t actually change.

Afterall our brain came with the natural ability to change called Neuroplasticity and therefore it is inevitable, we can change our beliefs and assumptions with effort and thought.

We can change how we look at the situation in a new light, without bias, without judging ourselves, without setting conditions on ourselves, without staying stuck in our old belief patterns.

By opening up our critical thinking, constructive reflective self-talk, rather than accepting certainty and absolutions the "what ifs" and the "if onlys" offer us.

Because nothing in life is certain, or set in stone so let’s all open our minds to all possibilities and free ourselves from the constraints.

16/05/2026

SUPERVISION SATURDAY - This week I attended a CPD course on Internal Family Systems. Although I’m already familiar with Richard Schwartz’s theory, I approach it from a Jungian perspective.

Many years ago, when I was struggling with severe anxiety and effects of unconscious trauma, I read a book that helped save my life. “Jung to Live By” written by Eugene Pascal – Jung wrote about archetypes, individuation, the journey towards wholeness, and the so called midlife crisis.

At the time this really resonated with my mental state and offered psychoeducation which is a must in times of healing, this book helped me understand I wasn't going mad, my thoughts were if just one other person, (although it be written in a book) saw the possibilities than I probably wasn't mad after all.

Reading this and two other books at the time renewed my pleasure in reading. I began my healing path and although it was long I am out the other side and putting my lived experiences to positive use in my counselling practice.

Jung also explored parts, what he called Archetypes e.g. Shadow, Persona, Mother, the Feminine and Masculine etc. Created terms we all use today such as introversion and extroversion, in my view, Jung was far ahead of his time.

Richard Schwartz also writes about parts, and to me these ideas closely reflect Jungian concepts. He has simply modernized the language and expanded our understanding of how they work together in helping us gain mental health. Making IFS theory easier to understand.

Internal Family Systems suggests that we are made up of multiple parts that need to be integrated into the core Self. As the model emphasises, there are no bad parts because each one serves a protective role within the system.

Parts work is a central tool in my counselling practice and is especially effective for clients healing from sexual abuse, domestic violence, anxiety, bereavement, multiple losses, and many other forms of emotional and mental suffering and distress.

I have enrolled in four further courses throughout the year on trauma and IFS. As a practicing counsellor, it is important to keep refreshing our awareness, skills, and knowledge so that clients receive the very best from us and from their therapy.

15/05/2026

TODAY'S AFFIRMATIONS - Psychological and emotional safety has to be felt to feel real and authentic. We can break those chains that bind us by creating a safe external environment and if we don't feel safe we can choose to leave the space.

We can create a safe our internal environment through affirmations. Recognizing vulnerability and resilience can co-exist at the same time, we don't need to choose which to be we can lean into ourself in any given moment.

Through affirmations we ground ourself and take control in the moment, can reduce stress, activate our motivation and increase resiliency reducing vulnerability.

Practice affirmations daily for maximum affect on our nervous system regulation.

14/05/2026

Psychological and bodily safety doesn’t come overnight once we start focusing on our nervous systems. We got so dysregulated through repetition over months and in many people over years, so we need to think slow and steady wins this battle.

All our cells are on high alert to ensure we are protected and this high alert is entrenched in all our bodily and minds neurons and nerves, some of the cells are well hidden away for full protection and may not be seen until they feel absolutely safe to begin showing themselves.

So, we need to repeat, repeat, repeat.

Think of it as a slow warming up after you’ve been visiting a frozen glazier and every cell of you is freezing, we get that tingly feeling when our fingers and toes begin to thaw, but it takes a little while until we get ourselves fully warm again inside out, this is a similar process but from the inside out.

To create emotional space, try:

• Affirm this feeling is allowed to exist and I allow it to be – you
don’t have to fix or rescue the feeling just make room for it to be
and flow exactly as it is.
• Let the feeling rise and fall without judging, criticising or fearing
it, the feeling will come and go if you allow it.
• Remember feelings are temporary states and change every
second of the day.
• Remember feelings are not facts.

Take things slow and steady be consistent and practice, practice, practice – we’re not looking for perfection we are looking for progress however small you may think progress is.

Its still progress and remember the Tortoise and the Hare story – slow and steady wins the race.

You can try the above by yourself but its much more validating if you practice this especially for the first time with a trusted other such as a counsellor or trysted friend who is undergoing the same process. Safety first always.

13/05/2026

Unlocking psychological and bodily safety doesn’t come overnight once we start focusing on our nervous systems.

One way is grounding ourselves in the here and now, we do that by:

• Placing both feet on the floor and feel the pressure of the
ground under our feet.
• Take one slow deep breath in and out whilst counting to five in
and out - if your familiar with my breathing pauses do that.
• Look around and name 5 things you can see
• Tap your hand on a solid object such as a chair, table or wall and repeat one calming word like calm, safe, or confident.
• Affirm “I am here now” and practice your breathing until you
feel calm and present

Grounding helps our nervous system realise we are safe right now and we begin to calm and settle. Practice as many times as you need and practice when you are feeling calm because then when your not it will be easier to activate the above in the moment.