Minds In Sinc

30/12/2025

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30/12/2025

We're not through the happy but not happy period just yet. New Year means new starts and many of us know the trials that can bring.
Being reminded to take care of yourself, when you are caring for those impacted by trauma and neurodiversity and all it brings, can bring an "are you for fking real" response.
However, the reality is, if you don't take care of you, you will hit a point when you can't be there for those you are trying to take care of.
10 minutes a day, minimum, routinely, where you find something to remind yourself you matter, and feed your soul. It may seem like nothing, but it is defintely something. If, you do it with mindfullness, in the moment, shutting out worries of what has been or what might be. 10 minutes, every day, of something that brings you laughter, peace or calm.

If Pooh didnt take time to feed his soul and eat his honey, he wouldn't have had anything to give to Eyeore ❤️

05/12/2025

Its been over 2 years since I did this podcast with the lovely Al Coates. Its taken me until now to be able to listen to this without cringing at my yorkshireness and what I percieve as my lack of proffessionalism. I did book in the second session but then backed out because of my self doubt. I've listened to it tonight, through a more positive self filter, with a sense of pride and lots of smiles.

05/12/2025

Why not get your little person (or their grown up) a copy of Jake and his Shame Armour for their stocking this Christmas?!

🔗 https://amzn.eu/d/hn3LpD2

05/12/2025

Its that time of year when everyone is celebrating family. Matching pj's. Get togethers. Present swap traditions. Lovely memories.

And then theres the christmas fearstivities. The celebrationbetweeners. The festive will it it wont it dreads.

For me, its always a bitter sweet reminder of what is alongside what could never be. I dont remember christmas before my first long term placement when I was 7 yrs old. Oh my god did that blow my little developing mind 🤯🤯 then at 14 that magic was lost when I was placed with a family whose religion changed my focus to a reunification with my dead mother over earthly celebrations.

My first experience of christmas was also my first experience of order in the chaos of life. There was so much excitement in the air but routine prevailed. You had to eat breakfast before you opened your first present. The environment fed my senses to be overloaded and manic but the verbal and non vebal directions told me I had to be reserved. Excitement and joy versus fear and punishment, where the latter will always win and kick in survival responses when everyone was expecting full enjoyment and gratitude.

Oh the minefield of trauma versus christmas.

As always, my heart goes out to all of you trying to give the magic to those who dont know the magic or who are triggered by it. Sometimes, there is no right way to do it. Trauma is unpredictable. Supporting or reparenting children who come from experiences that you dont understand or have the answers for, is a minefield.

But as always. I'm here to say, there is hope within the hoplessness. 2 new generations of beautiful, well adjusted individuals, achieving in life, despite my chaotic fight through life..

Here are photos that show, the trying matters. The new experiences that make new neural pathways, they matter. I wasnt supposed to be where I am. Life was supposed to consume me ( to be fair I still have moments where I have to fight that dragon). But it didn't. Because people cared, believed and supported new neural pathways. Pathways that were moving my nervous system towards living even when my belief system was saying I was better off dead.

Christmas is just a time if year. Life, connection and the message of safety is what matters.

Huge love and best wishes to all of you navigating giving festive joy to little ones who have mixed or trauma based reactions to your expressions of care and love ❤️❤️❤️

22/11/2025

Love this visual.

Have you ever noticed how your child can go from calm to explosive in seconds? Dan Siegel’s Upstairs / Downstairs Brain is a simple way to understand why.

The 'downstairs brain' is in charge of big emotions, survival instincts and staying safe. It reacts quickly – think fight, flight, freeze.

The 'upstairs brain' is where problem-solving, empathy, and reasoning live. It helps children make good choices, manage feelings, and connect with others.

But here’s the catch: children’s upstairs brains are still under construction. That means when emotions overwhelm, their downstairs brain often takes over.

This isn’t 'bad behaviour' – it’s biology. When we see it this way, we can respond with compassion, co-regulation, and strategies that help a young person move from downstairs to upstairs.
Resources to support educating a child around this model are available in our Resource Store.
EMOTIONS and MY BRAIN
This extensive resource pack based on Dan Siegel’s Upstairs and Downstairs Brain
helps and educates children and young people on the concept of the upstairs and downstairs brain can help them recognise how their own brain functions and develop strategies for self-regulation and emotional intelligence.
The pack comprises explainers, emotions scale resources, practical activities including upstairs and downstairs brain choices (behaviours), stress response, amygdala hijack, explainers for both adults and young people and activities to consolidate learning around parts of the brain and functions. Also includes 5 skin tone range of emotions.

Varying resources to suit ages 6-16yrs. Now also available as an 8 week intervention.
Electronic download available at link in comments or via our Linktree Shop in Bio.

FOLLOW for more posts in our series, When Worries Take Over.

15/11/2025

Once a child has moved through a protective response, their body doesn’t instantly return to 'normal'.

Recovery After the Response explores this essential phase — the slowdown, the fatigue, the need for softness, and the gradual shift back towards regulation. This is the moment when their nervous system is rebalancing, and when they most need calm, connection, and space without expectation.

Today’s visual breaks down what recovery actually looks like, why it matters just as much as the initial response, and how adults can support a young person as their system comes back to safety in its own time.

If you’d like a deeper understanding of this process, the full resource Recovery After the Response is available now (link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio).

You can also catch today’s other posts in The Protective Response Series — Safe Before Sorry and Co-Regulation in Action — to see how each piece builds on the next.

14/11/2025

Dad's please don't give up, come and tell us about your worries and stresses, share your good times too 👌

We're at
📌Stenhousemuir football club
📌the Ettrick Dockhart community hall
📌the Bridgeness Welfare Society and social club every Monday night from 6.30pm for a 7pm start.

5 questions that could help change your outlook.
1. How's your week been?
2. What's a positive from your week?
3. Anything to get off your chest?
A wee break for tea,coffee +a biscuit. Quite often the conversations in the break are uplifting and full of support from strangers who become brothers ♡
Questions 4+5 are quick fire uplifting and thoughtful.

14/11/2025

Valuable insight. I came into care ( after numerous temporary placements both official and convenient) at 6 years old. I had snippets of memories, nobody would talk to me about the facts. When I was 14, a social worker that I actually liked, met me on a street corner with details of my Mums grave location and the statement " you did know your Dad was arrested for her death".

I didn't.

I'm 58 this year, so much of my story is still unknown. Knowing your story, told in the right way, at the right time, is so important.

14/11/2025

❤️

07/11/2025

Hello lovely people. Its been almost a year since I've posted anything. A change of job has taken lots of my time and attention.

Just thought I would stop by and say Hi, especially as we enter that hard time of year when the world celebrates lots of things without knowing the trauma it elicits for many.

In my many years of working in the field of trauma ( yes this old Dame is still knee deep in a different trauma setting), with families trying to heal the trauma they're not responsible for, I know October to mid January is notoriously hard. At best life goes a bit bandy. At worst the s**t hits the fan in ways you're not sure you can wade through.

Just a message to say. The wading matters. I'm here and my beautiful family exist, because people like you, gave me shelter, showed me care and helped me not be what life said I should be.

Keep believing that what you give, for however long you give it, makes a difference, especially if you've cleared out the s**t from someone elses fan❤️

31/12/2024

Grieving in your own time.

I still dont know.
Fully.
How to live my life with you gone.
I tried so hard to be the same me.
Every day.
But wanting life to be done.
I tried to be what was expected
But abnormal, misunderstood.
I tried to fulfil your life.
That didnt work out good.
Trying to make things happen.
The way I would want them for you.
But nothing that I tried.
Seemed to help me get through.
Because.
I missed you.
And I missed you.
And then.
I missed you even more.
I just so wanted to remember.
You hold me.
Be the one that you adore.

I miss you in a way
That not many people know.
I dont have the memories to remember.
Or the photographs to show.
I have so many missed moments.
That left no hopeful scope.
Darkness deep enough to take me.
But.
I choose to see hope.

In the nurture that you left me.
In the belief of your grace.
In the image I now have.
Of the beauty in your face.

You birthed me.
You loved me.
You moulded me
Im in awe of all you gave.
Before.
You were free.
In all the times that you were brave.

I love you.
I always love you.
But more than that, I miss you.
But I know, although we're apart..
I feel your love too.
And I carry it.
With me, always.
And it overflows my heart.
But.
I miss you every day.
And that missing.
That darkness of missing.
That!
That sadness of missing.
Thats ok.

N.Maillie