14/04/2026
A wee bit of fun 😊
🚨 BREAKING: MOUNTAIN RESCUE CALLED AFTER TOURISTS MISTAKE "HAGGIS EGGS" FOR EASTER CHOCOLATE
Visitors to the Scottish Highlands are being issued an emergency warning this morning after a surge in tourists picking up rare “Wild Haggis Eggs” during early Easter egg hunts.
According to the Cairngorm National Park Authority, several hikers have unknowingly pocketed the small, speckled, oatmeal-textured orbs, mistaking them for seasonal chocolate treats hidden in the heather.
Tourists are being reminded that wild haggis lay their eggs only once a year in the run up to Easter, burying them deep in long grass incubate. To the untrained eye, they can look harmless but genuine eggs are unusually warm to the touch and carry a faint smell of single malt.
One traumatised family from Ohio had to be airlifted from Glencoe yesterday after the mother haggis, a highly aggressive 12lb female, tracked her missing egg to their camper van.
“People do not realise the danger,” a tired Mountain Rescue spokesperson said. “At this time of year, haggis are extremely protective of their nests. If you pick up an egg, the mother will usually know.”
In another report near Fort William, a walker claimed the egg in his rucksack began vibrating before emitting what he described as “a very small bagpipe noise”.
When he unzipped the bag, a freshly hatched haggis pup reportedly bit his thumb, stole a Tunnock’s Teacake, and vanished into the bracken.
Locals have reminded visitors that the only safe Easter eggs in Scotland come wrapped in foil, not fur. 🏴
