Relationship Counselling Therapy Edgbaston Birmingham

10/02/2025

Insomnia and Sleep Issues
Lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, feeling wired but exhausted?
If that sounds familiar , there’s a good chance your cortisol levels are out of control.
And here’s the deal: high cortisol is more than just a bad night’s sleep—it’s a serious roadblock to your health, energy, and your ability to hit the flow state.
Cortisol is your body’s built-in alarm system.
It’s meant to help you handle stress, but when it sticks around too long—especially at night—it can wreak havoc on your sleep.
Studies show that elevated evening cortisol is one of the biggest culprits behind tossing and turning, disrupted sleep cycles, and that feeling of being “tired but wired”.
When your cortisol levels are too high in the evening, your body stays in a state of alertness, making it nearly impossible to relax and fall asleep.
And poor sleep doesn’t just affect your mood—it drags down your entire health, energy, and performance.
The Cost of High Cortisol:
1. Disrupted Sleep
High cortisol messes with your body’s natural circadian rhythm, making it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. You wake up feeling drained, no matter how long you’ve been in bed.
2. Increased Stress and Anxiety
Cortisol is linked to heightened stress responses. If your cortisol stays high, your body is constantly in “fight-or-flight” mode, which leads to more stress, anxiety, and mental fog during the day.
3. Blocked Flow State
Cortisol doesn’t just affect your sleep—it blocks your ability to enter the flow state. The flow state is where you’re fully focused and performing at your best, but high cortisol keeps your brain stuck in overdrive, making it impossible to focus deeply or think creatively.
Now, imagine what happens when you cut evening cortisol by 25%.
You’re not just lowering your stress—you’re giving your body the green light to relax, sleep deeply, and wake up energized.
Lowering cortisol improves your sleep quality, reduces anxiety, and opens the door for you to finally access the flow state.
When cortisol comes down:
1. Deep, Restorative Sleep
Lower cortisol allows your body to enter its natural rest-and-recover mode, improving sleep quality and helping you wake up refreshed and ready to take on the day.
2. Reduced Anxiety, More Clarity
When your cortisol levels are balanced, you’ll notice less anxiety, better mental clarity, and an increased sense of calm. This sets you up for a more productive, focused day.
3. More Consistent Flow State
With cortisol in check, your mind and body can work together, making it easier to slip into the flow state—where creativity, focus, and high performance come effortlessly.
You don’t have to spend another night staring at the ceiling, trapped in a cycle of poor sleep and high stress.
Lowering your evening cortisol naturally is possible, and it’s the key to better sleep, more energy, and consistent access to the flow state.
Call Stuart - 07825 599340 to discuss your insomnia issue in more detail
Email - stuart .co.uk
https://hypnotherapy4freedom.co.uk/.../hypnotherapy-for...
Client reviews - https://hypnotherapy4freedom.co.uk/reviews

Stuart Downing is a trusted hypnotherapist helping clients overcome their issues across the UK and worldwide. Read his reviews here.

25/01/2025

When to end a relationship ?
Most people I have coached or treated were in relationships they knew were over for a year or so before they actually ended it.
This is really common. It happens for many reasons: Fear of leaving something. Fear of being alone. Guilt of hurting someone. Hope that it will get better. Not being sure if it’s you, or if the relationship really isn’t fixable. Not wanting to be the one who ends it. Thinking you can change someone. Not wanting to live with something that has “failed.” Kids. Not wanting to move out or ruin the living arrangement. So many reasons. And it doesn’t matter if they’re valid or not. They are all real.
So, then, how do you know if the relationship is truly over, and it’s time to move on?
This is one of the most difficult life questions to answer. It really is. I’ve struggled with it so many times.
But here’s the truth: You will never really, really know if the relationship is truly over. I’ve seen relationships rise from the dead. I’ve seen people rebuild after cheating and lying. I’ve seen people who couldn’t stand each other fall in love again. There are so many factors in a relationship, controllable and uncontrollable, that come into play. There are so many internal shifts which can happen that are unexpected. There are revelations we have daily that change the dynamic and our choices. We are indecisive creatures who change like the wind, depending on our feelings and our thoughts. I know that I’m one of the most indecisive people I know.
So it’s not about knowing if the relationship is truly over. Because miracles happen. Anything’s possible. People change. There is no relationship doctor who can predict outcomes with 100-percent certainty.
It’s about asking yourself this one simple question: Is the relationship causing you to break up with yourself?
First, let’s talk about what that actually means. Are you losing yourself? Are you drifting from who you truly are? Do you no longer like yourself, respect yourself, or know yourself? Do you feel invisible and powerless, and have no sense of who you are anymore? Do you feel hollow? Before you answer, you have to ask yourself how many of those feelings are due to the relationship, and how many are on you and where you’re at?
Many blame their relationship, because they’re at a lousy place in their life. If that’s the case, you have to own that and rebuild yourself. As you do, the dynamic of the relationship will change — or maybe it won’t, if the other person is done. Remember, you’re only 50 percent of any relationship, and that’s what makes knowing if it’s truly over impossible.
On the flip side, if it is your relationship that’s causing you to break up with you, then it’s just a matter of time before you become so unhappy, it’s over. There is a ticking clock, and for some, depending on your fears, your story, your definitions, and so many other things, it could be months, or it could take a year.
But it shouldn’t be a waiting game.
And this is the part I really want to emphasize, especially if you’re in something right now, and you don’t know what to do, because you don’t know if it’s truly over. (Assuming you’re not in an abusive relationship. If you are, and your partner is doing nothing to change him or herself, it’s over.)
Don’t. Just. Wait — for the other person or the relationship to magically change. Do something. I can tell you it’s your responsibility but I’m going to take another approach. There’s nothing worse than leaving something knowing you could have done more. Trust me: I’ve had to carry that. It’s heavy, and it sucks.
So what do you do?
Besides the obvious, like couples counseling and communication, you start to rebuild your relationship with yourself. So many people think that repairing a relationship only has to do with the dynamic and the other person. They forget about the relationship with themselves.
So then the big question is: What does it look like to start working on your relationship with yourself? It’s going to look different for everyone, but I can tell you what it looked like for me:
1. Lots of being still.
For most of my life, I’ve lived with noise. Drowning in my thoughts. You have to be still to think clearly, or you’re just reacting. If you want to connect with yourself, you have to minimize the mental chatter. I lived from my chest. Connecting with me meant connecting to my breath and staying out of my head.
2. Seeking new experiences.
We learn about ourselves through new experiences, not through our thoughts. And new experiences don’t just fall into our laps; we have to seek them. That means we have to give them to ourselves. In these new experiences, I started to create new beliefs about myself.
3. Having nonnegotiables.
When you negotiate too much, you start drifting from you. Nonnegotiables created a framework for me to start rebuilding me. I created nonnegotiables with friends, work, career, etc.
4. Committing to promises I made to myself. (This is how you build self-esteem.)
When it came to promises I made to myself, I talked a lot of trash, but rarely did anything. You can’t build self-esteem if you keep breaking promises you’ve made to yourself. The action of keeping promises to you is what loving yourself looks like. This is how I started to trust myself again.
5. Standing on my truth.
I stopped exchanging my truth for membership. I started to care less about what others thought and did what I felt was honest with me. In all areas of my life. Period.
6. Finding my voice.
I lost my voice many years ago. And when you lose your voice, you live muted. And that’s not living — that’s existing. I allowed myself to be heard again, not only by speaking up but also through creative expression like writing.
7. Discovering my wants and needs, and knowing the difference.
You have to know what you want before you can actually give yourself that, so I started to discover what I wanted and didn’t want. In all areas of my life. But before that, you have to know what you need. And that comes before your wants — it’s the foundation.
8. Finding a sense of purpose.
I never really had a sense of purpose. So I just floated through life chasing things. Purpose gave me tracks. And it pulled me out of my own unhappiness, because there was now something greater.
9. Reconnecting to my body.
I worked out, but never really connected to my body. Movement through my body made me feel whole and complete, instead of just having parts.
10. Finally liking myself
I finally started liking myself by accepting myself — all parts of me. As I started to let go of my insecurities and practice self-love and compassion, I realized how insignificant all of that stuff was in the bigger picture. I guess I never had a bigger picture before.
As you go through this process of rediscovering and reconnecting with yourself, your relationship with your partner will either get better or worse. You guys will grow closer or drift apart. Naturally. Because as you change, the dynamic of your relationship will change. You will either rediscover love with your partner or drift.
And that’s when you will truly know if it’s over.
Call Stuart -07825 599340
stuart@stuartdowning.co.uk
Online appointments available

Stuart Downing is an expert life coach offering life and business coaching in London, across the UK, internationally, and online coaching.

02/01/2024

46.2K likes, 565 comments. “Don't waste your time and energy on things that don't matter... Credit: ”

01/01/2024