07/12/2022
😴 sleep 😴
Sleep, or lack of it, was what I found so difficult about a baby with reflux.
If you haven't lived with CHRONIC and long term sleep deprivation, you can not understand what it feels like. Truly.
I had been tired before, worked 26hr shifts and gone back to work after 4 hours off. But nothing prepared me.
🚗 I banned myself from driving when Aila was a couple of months old as I felt it wasn't safe (I was never driving far anyway as she screamed all the time)
❤️ sleep deprivation had a huge impact on my relationship. Everyone was exhausted and then there was the tiredness trumps. 😩 you can't help but compare how many minutes sleep you had (I saw minutes as we rarely broke 2 hours in 24!)
🤯 Once I was back at work I used to often go in at 0430 since we were up all night and all day and hadn't managed to sleep yet. Even if I got sleep at 5am, I was up at 6 so I didn't see the point. I lost hope!
😢 I won't lie, I cried all the time. I was so tired, I wondered if tiredness COULD actually kill me.
But the hardest thing, even now is people commenting on my strict nap regime or my obsessions with Aila's sleep. Are you surprised?
I am still anxious every night that she will never sleep again. I think there is genuine trauma there.
So, please don't comment on other people's sleep issues unless asked. It's a scary place to be, alone all night and lacking sleep.
Be kind.
