Birth and Beyond

Birth and Beyond Counselling for Pregnancy and Parenthood, support for bonding and developing confidence.

Birth and Beyond is committed to helping mothers and fathers enjoy being parents as much as possible, and giving their baby the best start. This involves supporting parents in all aspects of the transition from pregnancy into early parenthood and beyond.

Why I’m wary of parenting trends.Been thinking about parenting styles this week. From gentle parenting to F**k it and fi...
15/05/2026

Why I’m wary of parenting trends.

Been thinking about parenting styles this week. From gentle parenting to F**k it and find out parenting… I raised my kids in the era of Gina Ford and the Baby Whisperer…

And they all have some good ideas. BUT, they’re not a recipe for ‘success’ (whatever that means) with your baby. What really matters is who you are - because that drives how you interact with this person who is your baby.

If you’re not sure that who you are is ‘good enough’ - that might sound a bit scary. Spoiler - you are good enough, you maybe just don’t understand that yet.

If you want to know more, I’ve written more thoughts on my substack. The link is in the usual place 👆

Motherhood doesn’t always feel the way we expect it to. Sometimes we can feel trapped. And that can be really confusing ...
04/05/2026

Motherhood doesn’t always feel the way we expect it to.

Sometimes we can feel trapped.

And that can be really confusing and awful and difficult to explain. Because we’re not meant to feel like that…

But understanding why that is can help things shift.

If you’d like to know more, read my post. The link is in my bio.

Junk miles…I first heard that term a few years back, and it got me thinking. Basically it refers to all the boring bits ...
28/04/2026

Junk miles…

I first heard that term a few years back, and it got me thinking. Basically it refers to all the boring bits of training that you can do, the miles that don’t feel productive.

And I think there can be so much in parenthood that is like that. The bits that aren’t flashy or obvious, but the slow, steady miles that are consistent and just keep things gradually ticking over.

It can be so easy to be swayed by what we see on social media, or see people around us doing. The performative parenting, or the people who seem to do everything beautifully and perfectly. However it can be easy to miss the slow, steady grind of just trying to do the next thing time after time after time. And how important that really is.

So maybe next time you give yourself a hard time for not managing to pull off the picture perfect baby photos, or the beautifully decorated nursery, or have the ‘right’ sensory toys, please give yourself a break. You won’t be able to see the junk miles you’re putting in, but those are the ones that really matter to your relationship with your baby.

I seem to have been working with a lot of dread this week - mostly dread around future scenarios. There’s lots of ways I...
22/04/2026

I seem to have been working with a lot of dread this week - mostly dread around future scenarios.

There’s lots of ways I might approach this with someone, but here’s a wee technique that can sometimes be very helpful. I’ve put the link to the full article in the bio, as it’s a bit of a long one!

Back in the saddle after a break. I often wonder what the people I work with think of me, whether they think I’ve got my...
20/04/2026

Back in the saddle after a break.

I often wonder what the people I work with think of me, whether they think I’ve got my 💩 together.

So this is just to disabuse that idea!

I go to therapy. I have loads of training. I have as much supervision as I can. I have loads of great peer support. I am constantly reflecting on my practice. And I look after myself - the maintenance bit.

I am very much a work in progress, and will always be. And I believe that helps me to help you. Because I’m not in any place to judge or tell you what to do.

I know what it’s like to feel stuck, alone and terrified. To feel overwhelmed and like I’m not good enough. And I also know that self awareness alone isn’t always a way through those feelings. I need other people to help me work through that stuff.

So if you want a perfect expert, I’m probably not who you want to work with. But if a part of you longs to feel understood and accepted, I can maybe offer you that.

Looking before you leap.So I’ve got a really s**t henna tattoo. It’s genuinely horrible! Thank goodness it’s not permane...
13/04/2026

Looking before you leap.

So I’ve got a really s**t henna tattoo. It’s genuinely horrible! Thank goodness it’s not permanent.

But it got me thinking about my process, and why I have a s**t tattoo.

My initial thoughts:

That I find it hard to think fast when I’m overwhelmed (and believe me, that woman knew how to push!). That I need space to think about things.

That I tend to ignore my concerns by thinking that I’ll make it ok if the worst happens. And to be fair, in this case I will, I can handle a bit of embarrassment and disappointment! But it doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes it’s bloody painful.

Likewise, I find it easier to leap before I look. Sometimes that pays off. Sometimes, it doesn’t.

The thing is, I know these things about myself and I will probably still act in ways I would like not to at times. Because sometimes, wonderful things happen when I don’t give my concerns too much airtime, when I’m impulsive and trust my gut. The rough and the smooth.

And why am I saying this? Because often there is a sense that we must BE BETTER, especially when we have a baby and everyone else seems to be nailing it. But the truth is that you can only do you.

Yes sure, have a bit of awareness, it can be useful, but demonising the parts of yourself that don’t fit the idea of how you ‘should’ be means you might also be missing out. These parts might also be brilliant in different situations.

If you’re giving yourself a hard time as a mum, and want space to think about why that might be, therapy can be so helpful. I currently don’t have space for new clients, but I can suggest some brilliant people, depending on what you’re looking for: and being a couple of them.

The connection between a parent and child can be thought of as bit like a dance - you’re both playing your part. To and ...
31/03/2026

The connection between a parent and child can be thought of as bit like a dance - you’re both playing your part. To and fro. Attuned to each other.

So what happens if you’re struggling to find your groove? If it feels awkward, or - even worse - that you just can’t find your footing with your baby? It can be really upsetting, for everyone.

I was so chuffed to meet the other week and hear more about her work supporting part-infant communication. She’s doing great things.

If you’re not sure what on earth I’m talking about, or if this kind of work might help you - check out my latest newsletter. Link in bio.

16/03/2026

The pressure to perform…

You might not have even really noticed it before becoming a mum. But you might now.

The anxiety about what people will think. The fear of judgement. The worry that people will think you’re failing/ doing a bad job. The worry that people will forget about you.

They might all be there. Or maybe just a few. And if you’ve always been able to perform to a high standard, it might be terrifying to find that you can’t with a baby (well not without working every moment you can/ damaging your relationship with your partner).

If this is you, I get it. It’s hard. And a shift that we don’t often think about when we look at motherhood (or else people just dismiss it).

I’m not going to come up with any trite solutions. These kind of things need some gentle thinking about. And if you’re in the grip of anxiety you might need someone else to help you figure out why it’s so scary to let go of the performance. Because it will be there for important reasons.

I’m always wary about contributing to these pieces, because I’m not a parenting ‘expert’ and never will be. I’m a parent...
09/03/2026

I’m always wary about contributing to these pieces, because I’m not a parenting ‘expert’ and never will be. I’m a parenting learner, like everyone else.

So I’m not a great believer in parenting ‘tips’, I’m more into ‘wonderings’ myself. But I get that it’s often more reassuring to have a rule to follow, to give us a sense of control, rather than be stuck in the messiness of parenthood. Wouldn’t it just be so much easier if it worked like that?!

So I am delighted that when I was asked to contribute to this, I was allowed to think about a question I would ask myself, rather than what I would ‘do’. I’d love to say I always manage to think like this! But when I have managed it, it’s always given me something useful to chew over and learn from.

And of course, as parents, we’re always learning. No wonder it’s so fricking exhausting at times. Just when I think I might be able to relax a little, my kids test me with something I couldn’t possibly have thought of yet. It took a while to realise that was normal and didn’t mean I had got something wrong.

And I like some of the other wonderings too - especially about prioritising connection. And of course that’s going to look different all the time.

I get that might all be a bit frustrating and scary when you just want to KNOW how to ‘do’ parenthood. Been there. But also, it’s been one of the most expanding experiences of my life.

Anyway - if any of this resonates and it’s feeling impossible just now, my thoughts are utterly with you. It’s flipping hard. And awful at times. And you’re doing better than you think.

Our own behaviour can confuse and upset us at times, especially when we can see how difficult it is for the people aroun...
27/02/2026

Our own behaviour can confuse and upset us at times, especially when we can see how difficult it is for the people around us.

We might struggle to explain because we don’t really understand ourselves either. It doesn’t seem reasonable or rational.

But there might be a different way to understand it…

New post - check my bio.

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