02/06/2023
"1. CONNECT BEFORE YOU CORRECT.
When a child makes a mistake or is hurt, their thinking brain shuts down and their emotional brain takes over. When a child is in this state, learning is impossible.
We need to connect on an emotional level first. Hug your child, sit with them, empathize and resist the temptation to correct the behavior. Recognize that they have lost a little dignity and may feel embarrassed, scared and confused. Teaching a lesson is rarely an emergency, so leave it for later (maybe five minutes, five hours or five days from now, depending on the situation and age of your child).
“You have to reach the heart before you can reach the head.” Carter Bayton
When you feel your child is in more control, attempt to redirect and bring in the logical left side of the brain. Dr. Dan Siegl, author of The Whole Brain Child, calls this process ‘name it to tame it’. One approach is to ask your child to tell the story of what happened and you can help fill in the blanks for them if they need it. Walk through the event, matter of factly without judgment.
This helps children process their emotions while making logical sense of what really happened, laying the foundation for a lesson to be learned and emotions to be regulated."
Time out and punishments are popular because they offer a quick fix. But, they fracture the parent-child relationship. Here are four tips to avoid time out.
