01/02/2026
As I approach the fourth month since my mother passed away, I find myself reflecting on what she passed on to me, how she cared for me, loved me and shaped who I am today.
Our attachment is largely shaped by how our parents interacted with us from infancy to around age 3. These early patterns are created to help us feel safe and changed our biochemistry that produces peptide hormones or not produce some. They can shift slightly over time, but they’re often deeply resistant to change and they show up in our adult lives in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.
It’s important not to blame our primary caregivers. They were shaped by their own primary caregivers too, doing the best they could with the inner resources they had.
I wouldn’t be me without my mamma. I wouldn’t be doing the work I do, helping children around the world to have a voice.
As children, we seek our parents’ approval because our safety depends on it. Toward the end of her time on earth, my mother said to me:
“Mari, not everyone in this world gets to help so many people around the world in the way that you do. It is God’s work that you are doing.”
The insecure parts of my attachment are now my responsibility to work on as an adult.
But the foundation: love, purpose, compassion, that came from her.
Thank you, Mamma, for giving me such a rich life, filled with colour, opportunity, and experience 🤍