22/09/2025
EXCEPTIONAL CASE
Hello Mummy Delly. Please post for me and hide my ID. Does keeping yourself away from men till marriage, a guarantee that you will be loved and cherished by your husband? I'm 35 years and I've known just one man all my life. I got married as a virgin to this man. It was my decision to keep myself for that one and only man, not that I didn't have men coming my way and even tempting me with flashy cars and money. Yes, during my university days, I was that very broke child for a poor family but I never for once yielded to the temptation of men just because I needed money for notes and maintenance. I was industrious; I sold patch groundnuts, doughnuts, banana etc while in the university just to support myself at school. Fast forward , I met my husband during my last year in a professional school. We dated just for about six months and got married. Years later, the marriage became sour with my husband keeping late nights . It started gradually and he will always call to say he was with some friends. The outing became an everyday thing. I tried talking him out of the late night issue but it became a problem. I remember telling him one day that, I really wish he could take me out to at night so that I can get to know the friends who always keep him company during such odd hours. His response was"it will be cold to stay out with the baby. You know we don't have a nanny and the baby can catch a cold" Even when I said, ok let's just go out and come back earlier, the response was, " I will call you when I get to town..." His attitude kept on worsening. I noticed he was cheating on me. So many calls from starnge women at odd hours. He came back one day really drunk and slept off while his phone rang. I answered the call. It was a lady. Immediately I picked up the call, she said Bebs, I'm home now. Thank you for the special treat. Hope your wife didn't bother you with questions this time around. I was speechless on the phone. I dropped the call, turned and looked at the man snoring. It was as if I should press his nose with the pillow. I managed to compose myself that night but not after wetting my pillow with ceaseless and noiseless drops of tears. From that day, I promised never to touch his phone and it's been seven years today. I don't touch nor check his phone. His lecherous lifestyle grew to unstoppable heights. I became depressed. Reported to my father in-law and sister in-law who tried in vain to talk him out of it. He became irresponsible. Neglecting his duties and responsibilities. Not giving even a dime for food. Mind you, we have four kids. No longer praying with us as a family. I reported to the pastor who solemnized our marriage . He was convocked and placed on observation but nothing changed. He even brought his girl friends right to the house. Most of the ladies were of my quarter and members of my church. I tried the dialogue method with my husband but it failed on several occasions. Even with evidences that I have, he kept saying I was accusing him. I let it go. I resorted to a very silent type of person. Always locking myself inside the house, not wanting to see any neighbor nor entertain any visitors. I developed severe nerves and palpitation. Was admitted at the hospital. He never stop by for once to check on me. I started having itches and burning sensations. I was tested and proven positive with STD. I criedy lungs out. The doctor called him to come to the hospital. He was presented with the report and a test conducted. He was positive too and the doctor said, he needs stronger antibiotics to treat him. Both of us were placed on medication. He said he hadn't money to buy drugs. This man is a civil servant. I paid for the drugs. Even as he was taking the drugs, he continued with his womanizing attitude. I finished taking my drugs and to God be the Glory, I was fine. One day, he made advances for s*x. I told him with all due respect to get tested for HIV/AIDS and a confirmation that the STD has been treated before we can have intimacy as husband and wife. He got angry and till then, hasn't touched me. For six years, we slept on the same bed yet no closeness. I don't HAVE a boy friend and have never thought of having one, because I was still hoping that my husband will change and join me to build up our family and cater for the kids jointly. For these six years, he dropped his responsibilities in all forms. I've been the one struggling.Some time last year, the kids rushed to me and said, " Mama Daddy told us that he was traveling" Till date, it's been one year six months. No call from him. I decided I was never going to call too. There's one particular place I always see him drinking and making noise with friends, but I've never confronted him. On several occasions have I seen him with this particular lady seating in front of his car. I still have never confronted the lady. I want to take the matter to court for a divorce. Hope I'm not hasty with my decision?
PS I only summarize the story. I couldn't bring out some of the worst scenarios here because of confidentiality. Before people start saying it's a one sided story, I don't have a problem giving his full details, if his own side of the story is deemed hearing and knowing.
